My First Heist

Good morning, crime fans. Hope you're having a productive day so far. I know I am.

Screened THE PUNISHER: WAR ZONE last night. Great flick! What a pleasant surprise. It remained true to the comic (or so I was told in the DVD 'making of'). It starred Ray Stevenson, from ROME, and he's a great actor. Another big plus was that it was directed by a woman, so the family-oriented storylines were maintained and given the proper weight amidst all the bloodshed and mayhem. I mean, a guy gets his head chopped off in the first two minutes. That's entertainment, my friend.

In other news, it looks like I might be adapting a memoir for the screen. I don't want to mention any details yet, because we're still in discussions, but let me just say it's a GOODFELLAS-like story -- it starts with this guy in the mob, in that era, with those same people, and it then springs forward into a whole other story about working as a private detective, then a millionaire mogul, and then losing everything to his drug addiction -- and finally, his ressuection and redemption when he gets clean and sober.

It's quite a story, and I might be able to make some decent bucks.

I'll keep you posted ...

***

Onto today's excerpt from GUN-WILD.

Since the handful of you that are reading this so far have read the next few scenes that follow yesterday's posting, I'm going to now pick up where we last left off.

In this scene, Cam Clinch has hooked up with her new squeeze Rod Funk, and they've been joined by serial robbers Hondo Ruff and his gal Net Cargo. They're right now in the car, on the way to knock over the 'First Fisherman's Bank', but first, Cam is going to knock off a 7-11 as an initiation into the 'gang.'

And she's a bit -- nervous.

Hope you enjoy.

***

EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY - DAY
A monster ‘68 Oldsmobile convertible,
white with black interior ROARS down the coast highway.

INT. OLDS CONVERTIBLE - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
On the car stereo, X’s JOHNNY HIT AND RUN PAULINE.
Rod’s behind the wheel. Cam rides shotgun.
Hondo and Net sit in the backseat, like royalty.
Everyone’s eating burgers.

HONDO
Nice wheels. Not too inconspicuous.

ROD
Used car lot was closed. Owner’s on vacation.
We’ll ditch it after the job.

NET
Who wants fries?

Net THROWS her pack of fries into the air.
They FLY all over everyone.
She erupts into MAD LAUGHTER

NET (CONT’D)
Want some KETCHUP WITH THAT?

Hondo SMACKS her on the head.

HONDO
What the fuck you do that for?
You’re wasting GOOD FOOD.

NET
OW. Fuck-head!

Cam shoots Rod a look.
Rolls her eyes. He shrugs.

ROD
Young love. Whattya gonna do?

EXT. MINI-MALL - PARKING LOT - DAY

The dregs. A 7-11. Check cashing.
Nasty chicken joint. Dingy dry cleaners.
Tiny, boarded-up KEYS MADE kiosk.

The Olds SCREECHES into the tiny parking lot.
The joint is deserted early on a Sunday morning.
A VW BUG sits idling.

INT. OLDS CONVERTIBLE - CONTINUOUS
Rod shuts off the engine. Looks at Cam.
She pulls her hair in a ponytail.
Slides on a baseball cap. Ray-ban shades.

ROD
Ready, doll?

Cam pulls out her piece. Fingers it.

CAM
Ready as I’ll ever be.

HONDO
Just remember, no matter what the fucking sign says,
the Slurpee dot-head curry-motherfucker can open the safe.
Got it?

CAM
Got it.

ROD
If someone shows up, or if there’s any trouble,
I’ll honk the horn three times, okay?

CAM
Okay.

ROD
Nervous?

CAM
I’m gonna piss my fucking pants.

NET
Nice, isn’t it?

HONDO
Makes you feel ALIVE.
(SLAPS her seat)
Go on. Make us proud, Gidget.

Hondo leans over. Kisses her.

ROD
For luck.

NET
Awww, isn’t that sweet.

Cam shoot her a look. Opens the door. Gets out.

HONDO
Get me a pack of Twizzlers, huh?

She nods. Heads toward the door.
Rod turns, looks at Hondo.

ROD
What if he CAN’T open the safe?

Hondo smiles. An evil grin.

HONDO
Guess we'll find out, won't we.