Four-Way Split

I'm trying to get back into the saddle today. It's been a bumpy ride, for sure. Losing a loved one is tough. So is a life of crime. So here goes ...

Screened THE WOMAN IN THE WINDOW last night, a great noir from '44 directed by Fritz Lang, featuring Edward G. Robinson as a poor schlub who gets pulled into a murder plot by femme fatale Joan Bennett (ouch), who gets blackmailed by the great Dan Duryea, who, as usual, plays a slimeball par excellance. It's a simple story, well-told, and to say anymore would give too much away. Two guns up, in my book.

So let's get back to our story. Perhaps it'll take my mind off Tina the Wonder Dog (may she rest in peace).

We next meet the gang -- Cam, Rod, Hondo and Net on the road, on the lam, in a tricked-out Winnebago, courtesy of Cam's father. Of course, he's currently in Switzerland, and has no idea what's going on.

Better buckle your seatbelts ...

***

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - AT THAT MOMENT

A giant WINNEBAGO roars downhill around the swerving curves

heading west toward the beach.

INT. WINNEBAGO - MOVING - CONTINUOUS

Deluxe. The best that money can buy. Two stories. Two bedrooms.

Plasma screen. Full bar. Overstuffed furniture.

Hot and cold running pleasure. On wheels.

Nasty go-go music on the sound system.

Something naughty, saucy by My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult over --

The gang spread out in style. Rod’s behind the wheel

in a captain’s hat, stogie clamped in his mouth.

Hondo rides shotgun. Bopping his head to the music.

Smoking a giant spliff. Hands it to Rod.

HONDO

Now this is a RIDE.

ROD

(takes a hit)

It’s like driving a fucking BOAT.

Probably gets three miles to the gallon.

Behind them, Cam and Net twist and shake to the music.

HONDO

(watches the girls, to Rod)

Check it out. All we need is a pole.

NET

(giggles)

I heard that!

CAM

(sings)

She’s a hit and run heroine --

NET

(glances at the TV)

Shit! Turn the music down!

Cam’s on TV!

ROD

(turns it down)

What the fuck?

ON THE TV

We see a shot of Cam at the bank, in disguise.

Sneering. Aiming the can of spray paint at the camera.

AN ANCHOR BABE

Sits at her news desk. Faintly smiling into the camera.

ANCHOR BABE

(V.O)

Security cameras captured footage of this woman

at the scene of a robbery earlier today

at the First Fisherman’s Bank of Santa Monica --

and, apparently at another heist

earlier that morning at a nearby 7-11.

Police believe there are four people in the gang --

Net turns the sound down.

CAM

Holy shit, I’m famous.

NET

You’re infamous, baby.

She goes to the bar. Refreshing their cocktails.

ROD

(to Hondo)

We made the news already? That was fast.

HONDO

(sings)

We’re bad, we’re nationwide --

NET

(to Rod)

We need TUNAGE.

ROD

(turns it up, to Hondo)

So how much did we get?

HONDO

Ask Trigger Happy. She counted it.

NET

(hands drink to Cam)

So did you fuck that little Mexican dude?

CAM

(takes a gulp)

Are you fucking kidding me?

He was like a father to me.

ROD

(over his shoulder, to Cam)

How much did we get, hot stuff?

CAM

(raises her glass)

Two hundred-twenty-three GRAND.

ROD

Holy shit.

(to Hondo)

What’s the split?

HONDO

I get half. The three of you divide up the rest.

ROD

That’s -- over thirty thou. Nice.

HONDO

(loud, to everyone)

Whattya say we go to the beach and CELEBRATE?

CAM

I thought we were going up the coast.

HONDO

Change of plan, Hunny-Bunny.

Cops are gonna be all over the highways.

We better lay low for a bit.

NET

LAY-low -- for a BITE.

ROD

I could go for some R-and-R.

CAM

Let’s PARTY HEARTY.

Hondo holds up a bag of white powder.

Evil grin.

HONDO

Who wants gum?

***