Dial M For Murder

Happy Friday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of A DISH BEST KILLED, B-movie starlet Haven Crayce and her illicit lesbian lover Jett Targo have enacted their plan to kill Haven's husband Dart, but things soon go horribly wrong ...


INT. HOUSE BOAT - MAIN SALON - NIGHT
Jett GRABS Nola.
THROWS her across the room.

She HITS the wall with a sickening THWUMP.
BANGS onto the floor. Lights out.
A pool of BLOOD starts spreading.

HAVEN
Fucking nosy MIDGET.

JETT
(reels back, in shock)
What have I done?

Another, louder MOAN from upstairs.

HAVEN
NOW what are we gonna do?

JETT
You go upstairs and shut him the fuck up,
and I’ll care of -- the body.

HAVEN
But what am I supposed to --

JETT
I don’t know. But we got
to buy us some time, so I can --
(gestures at Nola)
Get rid of -- that.

Pause.

HAVEN
Wait a minute. Listen. Do you hear that?

JETT
Hear what? I don’t hear anything.

HAVEN
Exactly. He stopped --

They RACE up the stairs into --

DART’S BEDROOM
which is empty.

HAVEN (CONT’D)
What the fuck? Where did he --

JETT
(sees, points)
There he is. Out on the deck.

EXT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - ROOF DECK - CONTINUOUS
Dart stands at the railing. Bent over.

DART
Somebody -- HELP --

HAVEN
Dart, honey.
What are you doing out here?
You’ll catch your death of cold.

She starts to walk toward him,
but he freaks out.

DART
No -- you -- stay away -- away --

And, as he tries to move away from her,
he lurches backward, loses his footing,
slips, and FALLS OVER --

And HITS the inky black water with a SPLASH.

HAVEN
SHIT.

JETT
We’ve just been FUCKED.

HAVEN
What do we do NOW?

JETT
We gotta take care of -- the body.

They RACE downstairs. Jett looks around.
Sees her gym bag. Empties it out.

Goes over to Nola’s dead body.
Stuffs her in the bag.

Uses the gym clothes
to sop up the blood.

JETT (CONT’D)
You COULD help me out here --

HAVEN
Blood makes me -- freak out.
(looks around)
Wait a minute. Where’s Buster?

JETT
He must have run away.
We’ll look for him later.

HAVEN
Don’t bother. He was Dart’s dog.
Drove me fucking crazy.

Jett stuffs the bloody
clothes in the bag.

Goes to the sink.
Washes her hands.
Looks back at Haven.

JETT
As soon as I’m out the door, call 911.
Tell them as much of the truth as you can.
He had an attack. You didn’t hear it
because you were sleeping.
HAVEN
I’ve got it. I was listening to my Ipod.

JETT
Even better. Then, you went to check on him,
and he was out on the deck.

HAVEN
And he -- and he --

JETT
Got startled when you called out to him.

HAVEN
That’ll work.

JETT
It’ll have to work.

Jett dries off her hands.
Goes to Haven. Kisses her.

JETT (CONT'D)
I love you more than --

HAVEN
Enough to kill?

PUSH IN ON Jett.
Hugging Haven for dear life.

JETT
Straight down the line, baby.
(beat)
Straight down the line.