Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 16 of A DISH BEST KILLED, star-crossed murderous lesbians Haven Crayce and Jett Targo are in the middle of killing Haven's husband Dart, when they get interrupted by their neighbor, B-movie actress midget Nola Bliss, with deadly results ...
EXT. JETT’S APARTMENT BUILDING - DRIVEWAY - MOMENTS LATER
Jett dashes over to Haven. Worried.
Pulls her down the driveway
to where it ends at the canal.
JETT
What’s up? Did something go wrong?
HAVEN
He went into shock.
He’s having -- an attack.
JETT
That’s good, right?
HAVEN
Yeah, but he’s so -- loud. I’m scared.
I’m afraid he’s gonna wake up the
neighborhood, especially fucking Nola.
Can you come back to the boat with me?
JETT
Isn’t that kinda dangerous? What about --
HAVEN
It’s one in the morning.
Everyone’s lights are out.
(beat)
And I want to keep it that way.
INT. CRAYCE HOUSEBOAT - LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Buster comes BOUNDING in.
Followed by Haven. Then Jett.
HAVEN
That’s what I’m telling you. Listen --
We hear low, ANGUISHED MOANING from upstairs.
JETT
What’s happening to him?
HAVEN
His body is screaming out for insulin,
but he’s not getting any,
so his blood sugar is plummeting.
He’s having seizures. Bad ones.
JETT
How long -- will it take for him to --
HAVEN
A couple hours. Maybe more. I dunno.
(beat)
They didn’t teach us about this
at the nursing academy.
JETT
What if you gave him a shot of insulin?
Make it look like you tried to save him?
What would happen?
HAVEN
If it’s in time, it would save his life.
(beat)
So how do I explain not helping him?
JETT
You went to sleep in the guest bedroom.
You weren’t feeling well --
HAVEN
But I can fucking HEAR him.
JETT
Not if you sleep with earplugs. I do.
Another MOAN. This time, LOUDER.
FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Hello, is anybody home?
In walks NOLA. More than
a few sheets to the wind.
HAVEN
Nola, what are you doing here?
Another MOAN.
NOLA
What the fuck am I DOING HERE?
Your husband sounds like
he’s DYING up there.
HAVEN
He’s fine, it’s a new medication --
JETT
We’ve got it handled.
Nola stares. Quivering with anger.
NOLA
I know what’s going on between you too.
I’ve seen you fucking and sucking
like monkeys in the zoo.
HAVEN
You fucking BITCH --
JETT
Haven --
NOLA
And now you’re trying to KILL
him, for what? The INSURANCE MONEY?
Well, I’ve SEEN THAT MOVIE,
and you’re NOT getting AWAY with it.
She pulls out her cell phone.
Jett races over, GRABS it.
Nola starts POUNDING on
her chest with tiny fists.
NOLA (CONT’D)
No, STOP! Give that BACK!
Give that BACK!
JETT
Quiet, please! Let me explain!
NOLA
No! I’m gonna call the COPS!
JETT
(sees something)
Haven, NO!
HAVEN
stands behind Nola. Bends down, and
SHOVES a BUTCHER KNIFE in Nola’s back.
The little demon SCREAMS in pain.
NOLA
You STABBED ME! Fucking BITCH!
HAVEN
FUCK YOU! Fucking MIDGET!
Incensed, in shock, Nola turns
and ATTACKS Haven like a wild animal,
BITING, KICKING, SCRATCHING.
Haven tries to fight back, but she’s
no match against the tiny terror.
NOLA
I’m gonna fucking KILL YOU!
HAVEN
No, STOP!
JETT
Leave HER ALONE!
Jett GRABS Nola.
THROWS her across the room.
She HITS the wall with a sickening
THWUMP. BANGS onto the floor. Lights out.
A pool of BLOOD starts spreading.
HAVEN
Fucking nosy MIDGET --
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