The Other White Meat

Hey there, crime kids. TGIF. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 24 of DAZED, BEAUTIFUL & BRUISED, homicide detectives Bernie Keko and Jesus Valentine investigate the crime scene where porn director Bruce Ball was scalded to death in a sleazy motel shower ...


INT. FARMER’S DAUGHTER MOTEL - BATHROOM - DAY
At the crime scene, BERNIE
inspects Bruce’s steaming body,
char-broiled to a crisp --
like a big, bright red lobster.

Joining him is
Detective JESUS VALENTINE,
a fireplug of restless anger
stuffed into the
cheapest suit in the world.

KEKO
(wrinkles nose)
Pee-yoo.
Haven’t seen a scalding in awhile.
Talk about well done.

VALENTINE
Smells like my mama’s cooking.

KEKO
The other white meat?

VALENTINE
No, rice and beans, man.
Got so fucking sick
of rice and fucking beans --
was dyin’ from that shit.
Saturday night was the one night
we’d have something different.
I can still smell it -- the sausage.

KEKO
That’s what I said,
'the other white meat.'

Jesus stares at Bernie,
uncomprehending.

KEKO (CONT’D)
Pork, Jesus. Pork.

VALENTINE
You think just because
I’m a fucking Mexican
we had fucking pork?
Well, fuck you, we were
different, man, we had -- Pizza.
Dominos, Shakey’s, Little Caesar’s,
even Wolfgang Fuckin’ Puck.
We ran the gamut on that shit.
(beat)
Weird. He smells like fucking pizza.

KEKO
Hey, I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean to -- you know.

VALENTINE
(looks at the body)
Must be Italian or shit.
Got that European
'bathe once a week'
kinda thing goin’ on.
(beat)
It’s fuckin’ uncivilized, man.
No wonder the killer did it
in the fucking shower --