The Last Girl On Earth

Happy Hump Day, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 26 of DAZED, BEAUTIFUL & BRUISED, teenage serial killer Sparkle Plenty reveals a disturbing image of her dysfunctional family upbringing in the trailer park. Meanwhile, more than sparks fly when homicide detective Carrie Love has her first date with porn star Laura Lang ...


EXT. HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD - DAY
Sparkle cruises down the nasty
boulevard, platforms clattering --
smiling beneath red heart shades.

SPARKLE (V.O.)
I love cheeseburgers, pizza,
video games, movies, comic books --
and catching a buzz whenever I can.
I’m your typical American teen.
(beat)
Except for one thing.
I’m gonna be the biggest
serial killer there ever was.
(beat)
People are gonna remember me.
You betcha.

INT. PLENTY HOME - LIVING ROOM - FLASHBACK - DAY
Dot shows her daughter a baton twirl.

SPARKLE (V.O.)
See, the thing was about my mom --
she like, didn’t want a daughter.
She wanted a star.
(beat)
And the money -- don’t forget the money.
She thought I was, like, her ticket
out the trailer ranch.
(beat)
How fucked up is that? 'Trailer Ranch.'
Like it’s a fucking ranch.
Raunch is more like it. In hell.
(beat)
What. Ever.

Dot hands it to Sparkle,
who gives it a whirl. She’s great.

CLOSE ON --
Sparkle’s face. Bright.
Eager. Scared shitless.

SPARKLE (V.O.)
I mean, lookit me.
Is that pathetic or what?

INT. CARRIE LOVE’S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
A Mr. Coffee DRIPS.
Carrie walks in, makes a cup.

She goes to the mini stereo,
searches through the CD’s.

Makes her choice.
Puts it on. Presses 'play.'

The Supreme Beings of Leisure’s sexy,
Euro-croon THE LAST GIRL ON EARTH
fills the room.

Carrie slinks away,
in time to the music,
sipping her java.

INT. CARRIE’S BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
Carrie, hot in black,
checks out her reflection.

CARRIE (V.O.)
I can’t remember when I’d
been so excited about a date.
I even got out the real perfume.

She squirts a cloud of scent.
Walks into it. COUGHS.

IN THE LIVING ROOM
Carrie changes CD’s --
ABC’S irresistible THE LOOK OF LOVE.

Big smile. She lights a joint.
Inhales. Closes her eyes.

Goes off somewhere to the
music, dancing, swirling --

The doorbell RINGS.
Carrie tenses.

Walks to the door,
opens it to reveal --

A tall tumbler of intoxication.
Laura in a tight,
sheer ankle-length number
with buttons all the way up the front.

With five, maybe six buttoned.
And nothing else.

LAURA
(listens)
Oh my god.
That’s my favorite song.

Their eyes lock.

CARRIE
(heart beating fast)
It’s -- my favorite song, too.

Laura TOSSES her handbag.
GRABS Carrie.

LAURA
How in the hell did I find you?

And they kiss.
Swimming in passion.
Fall to the floor.

Laura on top, insinuating her
splendor into Carrie’s grass.

CARRIE
The -- yellow pages?

The phone BR-RINGS.

LAURA
(devouring her, throaty)
Let the machine get it.

CARRIE
(under water)
It’s -- broken.

BR-RING. BR-RING.

LAURA
Godammit.

She WHIPS off a shoe.
FLINGS it at the intruder. CRASH.

LAURA
(starts biting her neck)
Now -- where was I?

CARRIE
You were -- uh --

Laura gently cups Carrie’s breasts.

LAURA
That’s right.
I was claiming what’s mine --