Spin The Dick

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of THE HEISTERS, we flashback to the start of Kelsey's stadium heist, then flash forward to the present, where she shows up at the home of the cop in charge of investigating the robbery to find some clues ...


EXT. STADIUM - NORTH GATE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Deserted at this hour.
A large, old black Mercedes sedan
idles at the curb.

The exhaust softly puffs out
a white cloud in the moonlight.

We see four DARK FIGURES
huddled inside.

KELSEY (V.O.)
There’s nothing like the feeling
you get at the start of a heist.
At first it’s like
butterflies in your stomach,
like you’re going onstage.
But once you get going,
it’s a pure adrenaline rush.
Better than drugs. Booze.
Gambling. Even sex --
(beat)
Well, almost.

INT. MERCEDES SEDAN - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Ronan’s behind the wheel.
Kelsey rides shotgun
in the passenger seat.

Chick and Ludo sit in the back.
They all wear stadium uniforms.
Everybody SNAPS on thin latex gloves.

KELSEY
(to Ronan)
Ready to rock and roll?

Kelsey’s wearing a long, blonde wig.
TONS of makeup that makes her
look glitzy, and a darker skin tone.

Tres exotic. NOT white. With maximum
cleavage for maximum distraction.

RONAN
Solid, doll.
Let’s crack this sucker like a walnut --
(smiles)
And let the heist begin.

Ronan’s skin is also now
darker with makeup.

A big, wide fake nose and a
close-cropped beard
complete his disguise.

CHICK
Where’s Mickey Spillane
when you need him?
(to Ludo)
It’s showtime, boychick.

LUDO
(to Kelsey and Ronan)
See you in the funny papers.

Chick and Ludo slide on baseball caps.
Pull big scarves up over their noses.
Open their doors. Get out.

EXT. FOURTEENTH STREET - NIGHT
A leafy side street off Wilshire
on the north side of Santa Monica.

Safe, quiet, and not too expensive.
The beige seats.

Kelsey’s beat-up Toyota
pulls up to the curb.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I read in the newspaper that
homicide detective Mart Volok
was in charge of the case --
(beat)
I did a little research,
found the guy’s address --
and now it was time
to play ‘spin the dick.’