Notorious Pig

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of THE HEISTERS, wheelman Ludo Vargas pays a visit to a girl gang of heavily armed drug runners, with deadly results ...


EXT. VENICE SIDE STREET - NIGHT
Far from the beach, where The Hood
changes block by block.

Small shitty houses with steel bars
on the windows and doors.

NOT a safe area.
Ugly rap music THUMPS in the distance.

A late-model SUV slowly
creeps down the street.

INT. SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
Ludo drives, looks at the numbers
on the houses.

LUDO
Good thing I brought my fucking piece --
(sees the number)
Nice joint. Maybe I can
get a deal on some crack.

He pulls over to the curb.
Shuts off the engine. Sighs.

Grabs the clipboard off the seat.
Opens the door.

LUDO
Here goes nothing --

Ludo climbs out.
Shuts the door.
Presses his autolock, THWIP.

Starts going up the front walk.
Gets to the front door.
RINGS the buzzer.

INT. SHITTY RUN-DOWN HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Hip-hop on a boom box thumps over --

A real pig-sty.
Dishes piled up in the sink.

Fast food wrappers, pizza boxes
and beer cans litter the joint --

Which is now actually a
drug dealer’s base of operations.

Three HOT BLACK GANG-BANGER CHICKS (20’s)
sit at table in the kitchen
measuring rocks of crack
into small glass vials.

Another CHICK stands by the door
holding an Uzi submachine gun.

Narrows her eyes.
Looks at the girls.

HOT UZI CHICK
Anybody expectin’ company?

They shake their heads ‘no.’

HOT UZI CHICK
I’ll go check it out.
One of you go out the back
and come around in front
and back me up.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Okay --

She gets up.
Grabs a PISTOL WITH A SILENCER
off the counter.

Heads out the back.
Hot Uzi heads toward the front.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. SHITTY RUN-DOWN HOUSE - NIGHT
Ludo stands on the stoop. Waiting.

He RINGS the bell again.
Peers in the window.

Tiny bit of light spilling out
behind the drawn shades.

LUDO
Hello. Anybody home?

Hot Uzi looks through
the peephole. Makes a face.

HOT UZI CHICK
(under her breath)
Shit. Looks like a fuckin’ COP --

She goes to the intercom.
Presses the button.
Speaks into it.

HOT UZI CHICK
Who is it?

Ludo leans into the speaker.

LUDO
I’m from Global Media Group,
doing a survey. I’m looking
for Janice Michelle Jones.

Hot Uzi presses the gun
up against the door.

HOT UZI CHICK
She don’t live here no more.

LUDO
Are you sure?
This is her last known address --

HOT UZI CHICK
I said she don’t live here NO MORE.
So get the fuck OUTTA here --

LUDO
Please.
I just have a couple of questions.
It won’t take more than five minutes.

A gun saftey CLICK-CLICKS.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Stands at the corner of the house.
Gun aimed. Sneering.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Bitch tol’ you she
don’t live here no more,
so why don’t you get your
WHITE ASS the fuck OUTTA HERE.

Ludo’s eyes bug out.
He starts to panic.
LUDO

Hey. I don’t want any trouble.
ut the gun down.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
You look like a cop to me.
Are you a fuckin’ COP?

LUDO
A COP?
No, no, no -- I’m just here
to take a survey, I swear.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
What part of GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE
don’t you GET, white boy, HUH?

LUDO
Okay, okay, okay, I’m leaving.

He WHIPS AROUND to go --
and the clipboard hits
the front of his jacket,
opening it to reveal
the Glock in his waistband.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
You ARE a fucking COP --

She SHOOTS him.
THWIP, THWIP, THWIP.
Ludo looks down.

Sees three red blossoms
forming on his white shirt.

LUDO
You fucking -- shot --

Another shot HITS him
in the forehead. THWIP.

He pitches backwards.
Hits the cement with a THUD.

The front door FLIES open.
Hot Uzi looks out. Sees Ludo.

HOT UZI CHICK
What THE FUCK?

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
He had a GUN.
He’s a fucking COP.

HOT UZI CHICK
Shit, fuck, piss, COCKSUCKER.
Not ANOTHER ONE --

Tall goes to Ludo’s body.
Grabs him by the ankles.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Chill. We’ll put him in the trunk
with the other one.
So we gots TWO to get rid of.
What’s the big deal?

HOT UZI CHICK
The BIG DEAL is your trigger-happy ass
gonna get us capped one o’ dese daze.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Shut your pie-ho and help me
move this fat guinea bitch.
He’s fucking HEAVY.

Hot Uzi comes out. Puts her gun
over her shoulder by the strap.
Grabs Ludo’s wrists.

HOT UZI CHICK
Damn. Motherfucker’s HEAVY.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
I TOL’ you --
(beat)
Notorious PIG.