The Universal Language Of Stoned

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of AFTERHOURS, rogue cop Danny Peel decides to let dealer Harry Peel give his celebrity hostages some weed to calm them down and keep them in line ...


INT. AFTER HOURS CLUB - EARLY MORNING
Danny PUNCHES him in the stomach.
Harry doubles over.

HARRY
Dude. That fucking HURT.
Why’d you have to do that?

DANNY
Cause I told you to SIT DOWN
and SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Harry nods. Takes a seat.

HARRY
Alright. Jeez.

DANNY
Why did you want to see him?
What the fuck was so important?

HARRY
We got raided by the Feds.
All of our inventory was seized.
I barely escaped and I
was coming to warn him.
Didn’t answer his cell
so I knew something was up --
(looks at Danny’s gun)
But not something like this.
Did you rob a bank or something?

DANNY
Why does everybody think
we robbed a fucking BANK?
(beat)
How did you know he was coming here?

HARRY
He told me.
We’re business partners.
I procure the inventory
and he distributes it.
Some cat who works here
is a customer.
(beat)
Dude. My heart’s beating
a mile a minute.
Mind if I smoke out?

DANNY
‘Smoke out?’

HARRY
You know, weed.
You can have some, too.
Chill you right out.

DANNY
That’s actually not a bad idea.

HARRY
Right on.

He pulls a joint out of his pocket.
LIGHTS IT with a click of his Zippo.

Takes a big hit. Hands it to Danny.
He takes a toke. Holds it in.
Nods. EXHALES.

DANNY
(hands it back)
That’s good shit.

HARRY
Oh, yeah.
OG Kush from Humbolt.
None of that hydroponic bullshit.
I mean, sure it gives you a great high,
but it’s gone an hour later.
This shit’ll give you a
body-shizzle that’ll last all night.
(stares at Bettie)
Sugar Magnolia, blossoms blooming.
I’m in the presence of the Dark Goddess.

BETTIE
(smiles)
That’s me.
Can I get a hit?

DANNY
It would be an honor.
Weed is the universal
language of stoned.

He passes it to her.
She takes a ginormous hit.
Holds it in.

HARRY
(low, to himself)
Mickey’s dead. Who am I gonna
get to move my product?
(looks at Danny)
Can I -- ask what happened?

DANNY
My partner accidentally
blew his head off.
Got nervous, thought he
was hitting on him.

HARRY
Pulp Fiction, ahoy.
(looks at the group)
Which one is he -- or she?

DANNY
He’s not here.
He went out to get some food.

HARRY
A hostage situation with snacks.
Far out.
(realizes)
So -- you’re not gonna let me go.

DANNY
Now you’re catching on.

HARRY
Guess it’s safer here
than back at my place.
Joint’s crawling with DEA.

DANNY
Sounds like it’s your lucky night.

HARRY
Hey. If you’re given lemons --
(brightens)
Can we have some tunage?

DANNY
You mean -- music?

HARRY
Soothes the savage beast.
This IS a club, daddy-o.

CASEY
(to Danny)
Great idea. We get high,
listen to some music,
then have something to eat
when Vin gets back.
You’ll be relaxed and refreshed
for when you make your escape.

Pause.

DANNY
Okay. But no dancing --