Magic Fingers

Happy X, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 34 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, Frankie goes on the lam and holes up in a seedy sex motel with Shayla. Meanwhile CDC agent Beck Driver and patrolman Chet Beverage search Frankie's tree house, looking for clues ...


EXT. THE CAMELOT MOTEL - DUSK
Frankie drives the bus
into the parking lot.

Parks down at the end,
away from the only other car.

INT. FRANKIE’S VOLKSWAGON - DUSK
He turns off the engine.
Looks at Shayla. Sighs.

FRANKIE
I’m going to check us in.
You wait here in the car, okay?

SHAYLA
(looks out the window)
Looks familiar.

FRANKIE
Don’t be silly.
Wait right here, okay?
Don’t leave the car.
(off her nod)
Be back in a sec --

He gets out.
Starts walking over to the office.

Shayla watches him go.
Wrinkles her nose.

Smells something. Turns around.
Looks in the back of the van. Big smile.

INT. CAMELOT MOTEL OFFICE - DUSK
Tiny, cramped. The OBESE MEXICAN CLERK (40’s)
watches a shitty little black-and-white.
Eats a giant burrito.

Frankie walks in.
Approaches the counter.

FRANKIE
Hi. I’d like to get a room, please.

OBESE MEXICAN CLERK
(eyes on the TV)
For the hour or for the night?

FRANKIE
Uh, for the night --

INT. FRANKIE’S VAN - DUSK
Shayla has found Josh’s body
in the back and is now
sucking blood from a gaping wound
she’s chewed in his neck.

FRANKIE
Gets back in the car.
Sees Shayla’s not in her seat.

FRANKIE
Not AGAIN --

He hears a sucking sound.
Turns. Looks. Sees her feasting.

FRANKIE
Ohmigod. Shayla, NO.

She looks up at him.
Blood on her face. Confused.

SHAYLA
What’s wrong?

FRANKIE
You can’t DO that.
He was my FRIEND.

SHAYLA
But I’m HUNGRY.
Makes me feel BETTER.

FRANKIE
But you can’t eat PEOPLE.
(sighs)
C’mon, let’s go to our room
and get you cleaned up.

INT. TREE HOUSE - NIGHT
Chet and Beck search the tiny room
looking for clues.

CHET
Nothing. How about you?

BECK
Nothing.
(looks at the bed)
Do you think he fucked her?

CHET
My god. That’s SICK --

BECK
I’ve seen his picture.
He makes Mark Zuckerburg
look like Ryan Reynolds.

CHET
So --

BECK
Shayla was the head cheerleader.
AND Pumpkin Queen. You do the math.
(off his look)
What’s the only thing on a
sixteen-year-old boy’s mind?

CHET
To get laid.

BECK
And where would he go to do THAT?

CHET
A motel --

BECK
Dirty Harry gets a gold star.

CHET
I bet he went to The Camelot.

BECK
The Camelot?

CHET
Yeah.
It’s one of those sex motels.

BECK
You mean the kind with
the magic fingers bed?

CHET
Uh, yeah.

BECK
Damn.
I’m staying at the wrong place --