Notorious Pig

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of THE HEISTERS, wheelman Ludo Vargas pays a visit to a girl gang of heavily armed drug runners, with deadly results ...


EXT. VENICE SIDE STREET - NIGHT
Far from the beach, where The Hood
changes block by block.

Small shitty houses with steel bars
on the windows and doors.

NOT a safe area.
Ugly rap music THUMPS in the distance.

A late-model SUV slowly
creeps down the street.

INT. SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
Ludo drives, looks at the numbers
on the houses.

LUDO
Good thing I brought my fucking piece --
(sees the number)
Nice joint. Maybe I can
get a deal on some crack.

He pulls over to the curb.
Shuts off the engine. Sighs.

Grabs the clipboard off the seat.
Opens the door.

LUDO
Here goes nothing --

Ludo climbs out.
Shuts the door.
Presses his autolock, THWIP.

Starts going up the front walk.
Gets to the front door.
RINGS the buzzer.

INT. SHITTY RUN-DOWN HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Hip-hop on a boom box thumps over --

A real pig-sty.
Dishes piled up in the sink.

Fast food wrappers, pizza boxes
and beer cans litter the joint --

Which is now actually a
drug dealer’s base of operations.

Three HOT BLACK GANG-BANGER CHICKS (20’s)
sit at table in the kitchen
measuring rocks of crack
into small glass vials.

Another CHICK stands by the door
holding an Uzi submachine gun.

Narrows her eyes.
Looks at the girls.

HOT UZI CHICK
Anybody expectin’ company?

They shake their heads ‘no.’

HOT UZI CHICK
I’ll go check it out.
One of you go out the back
and come around in front
and back me up.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Okay --

She gets up.
Grabs a PISTOL WITH A SILENCER
off the counter.

Heads out the back.
Hot Uzi heads toward the front.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. SHITTY RUN-DOWN HOUSE - NIGHT
Ludo stands on the stoop. Waiting.

He RINGS the bell again.
Peers in the window.

Tiny bit of light spilling out
behind the drawn shades.

LUDO
Hello. Anybody home?

Hot Uzi looks through
the peephole. Makes a face.

HOT UZI CHICK
(under her breath)
Shit. Looks like a fuckin’ COP --

She goes to the intercom.
Presses the button.
Speaks into it.

HOT UZI CHICK
Who is it?

Ludo leans into the speaker.

LUDO
I’m from Global Media Group,
doing a survey. I’m looking
for Janice Michelle Jones.

Hot Uzi presses the gun
up against the door.

HOT UZI CHICK
She don’t live here no more.

LUDO
Are you sure?
This is her last known address --

HOT UZI CHICK
I said she don’t live here NO MORE.
So get the fuck OUTTA here --

LUDO
Please.
I just have a couple of questions.
It won’t take more than five minutes.

A gun saftey CLICK-CLICKS.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Stands at the corner of the house.
Gun aimed. Sneering.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Bitch tol’ you she
don’t live here no more,
so why don’t you get your
WHITE ASS the fuck OUTTA HERE.

Ludo’s eyes bug out.
He starts to panic.
LUDO

Hey. I don’t want any trouble.
ut the gun down.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
You look like a cop to me.
Are you a fuckin’ COP?

LUDO
A COP?
No, no, no -- I’m just here
to take a survey, I swear.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
What part of GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE
don’t you GET, white boy, HUH?

LUDO
Okay, okay, okay, I’m leaving.

He WHIPS AROUND to go --
and the clipboard hits
the front of his jacket,
opening it to reveal
the Glock in his waistband.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
You ARE a fucking COP --

She SHOOTS him.
THWIP, THWIP, THWIP.
Ludo looks down.

Sees three red blossoms
forming on his white shirt.

LUDO
You fucking -- shot --

Another shot HITS him
in the forehead. THWIP.

He pitches backwards.
Hits the cement with a THUD.

The front door FLIES open.
Hot Uzi looks out. Sees Ludo.

HOT UZI CHICK
What THE FUCK?

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
He had a GUN.
He’s a fucking COP.

HOT UZI CHICK
Shit, fuck, piss, COCKSUCKER.
Not ANOTHER ONE --

Tall goes to Ludo’s body.
Grabs him by the ankles.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Chill. We’ll put him in the trunk
with the other one.
So we gots TWO to get rid of.
What’s the big deal?

HOT UZI CHICK
The BIG DEAL is your trigger-happy ass
gonna get us capped one o’ dese daze.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Shut your pie-ho and help me
move this fat guinea bitch.
He’s fucking HEAVY.

Hot Uzi comes out. Puts her gun
over her shoulder by the strap.
Grabs Ludo’s wrists.

HOT UZI CHICK
Damn. Motherfucker’s HEAVY.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
I TOL’ you --
(beat)
Notorious PIG.

The Big Bounce

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of THE HEISTERS, we flashback to the charity rock concert robbery, where Kelsy, Ronan, Chick and Ludo hide in the stadium box office overnight and play poker to keep themselves awake before the big heist ...


INT. FINANCE OFFICE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
A large room with cubicles
and work stations.

Drab. Functional. Cluttered.
Eerie in the dim light.

Kelsey leads them to a door
in the far corner.

She opens it.
They walk into --

INT. STORAGE ROOM - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
A windowless room with shelves
along the walls filled with boxes.

Ludo and Ronan put their bags down.
Look around.

CHICK
It’s not much, but I
call it ‘hiding place.’

Ludo FLIPS on the lights.
Lowers his scarf.
Chick lowers his.

RONAN
Damn, that’s bright.
Shut ‘em off.

KELSEY
Leave ‘em on.
It’ll keep us awake.

LUDO
So what are we going
to do to pass the time?
I’m too keyed up
o get any shut-eye.

CHICK
(pulls out a pack of cards)
Anybody up for a game of poker?

KELSEY
Good idea.
It’ll keep our wits sharp.

Ronan grabs a box.
Puts it in the middle
of the floor.

RONAN
Here’s our table --

They all sit on the floor
around the box.

Chick starts shuffling
and cutting the cards.

CHICK
How about a little
five-card draw?

LUDO
What about Texas Hold-em?

KELSEY
Fuck that yuppie shit.
I say seven-card STUD.

CHICK
I’m really starting
to like this broad.
(starts dealing the cards)
Stud it is --

RONAN
So what are we gonna play for?

KELSEY
IOU’s work for me.
(looks at her cards)
After all, tomorrow we’re
gonna be rolling in it --

She turns her head.
Smiles at Ronan.

Lady Luck

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of THE HEISTERS, safecraker Kasper Garcia calls wheelnan Jefty Jones to warn him about the cops being onto them, not knowing that Jefty's dead and homicide dick Mart Volok has his phone ...


EXT. OZONE AVENUE - PARKING LOT - MOMENTS LATER
A small parking lot behind a boardwalk
restaurant facing the end of Ozone.
A shitty old Toyota Celica idles in the lot.

INT. TOYOTA CELICA - CONTINUOUS
Kasper sits behind the wheel.
Pulls out his cell phone.

GUNS the engine. Starts driving.
Punches a number. Listens.

KASPER
Jefty, it’s Kasper. It’s a set-up.
The bitch is playing us --

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. HOMICIDE DETECTIVE SQUAD ROOM - NIGHT
A WELL-DRESSED BLACK DETECTIVE (40’s)
holds Jefty’s cell phone to his ear.
Big smile on his face.

DAPPER BLACK DETECTIVE
I think you might be right.
Your friend Jefty’s DEAD.

KASPER
What the FUCK?
Who the fuck IS this?

DAPPER BLACK DETECTIVE
Detective Elwin Marr, homicide.
If you come in and talk to us,
I can make you a deal.
Give up the others,
I’ll give you immunity.
How’s that sound?

KASPER
Fuck YOU, pig.

Kasper SLAMS the phone shut.
TOSSES it on the seat.

KASPER
(POUNDS the wheel)
SHIT. FUCK. GODDAMMIT --

He STOMPS on the gas.
The car FLIES down the alley.

KASPER
Fuckin’ bitch is gonna PAY.

ELWIN
Gets up from his chair.
Walks over to the doorway
of a nearby office.

The glass reads HOMICIDE.
He gently knocks.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Come on in, it’s open --

Elwin opens the door. Walks into --

INT. MART VOLOK’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Mart sits behind his desk
going through some paperwork.

Looks tired. Beaten down.
NOT having a good day.

MART
What’s up?

ELWIN
We just caught a break
on the stadium job.

MART
Oh, yeah? Really?

ELWIN
(holds up the cell phone)
One of the heisters just called
the kid we shot at
tattoo-girl’s joint.

MART
The fake survey thing?

ELWIN
Yeah.
I offered to cut him a deal,
but he hung up.

MART
Call long enough to trace?

ELWIN
Nah. And besides, I’m sure
it’s one of those prepaid
disposable jobs.
(smiles)
Think the FBI can do
anything with it?

MART
Are you fucking kidding me?
Don’t you watch CSI?

ELWIN
Shit.
Maybe they could help
me out at the track --

MART
You STILL playing the ponies?
I thought you told me
you’d been on a bad streak.

ELWIN
I’ve gotta new system.
Gotta date with lady luck --

Dishonor Among Thieves

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of THE HEISTERS, robbery gang member Jefty Jones pays a visit to the squeeze of the thief the gang suspects of stealing the loot ... and walks right into a trap ...


EXT. OZONE AVENUE - NIGHT
Ozone Avenue. A bucolic, leafy walkway
street at the north end of Venice Beach.

A lone street lamp spills shards
of diffused light through the trees.
Quiet. Eerie.

Kasper walks down the sidewalk
flanked on each side by old houses
and small apartment buildings.

He looks at the numbers.
Stops at the gate
of a Craftsman bungalow.

KASPER
Number thirty-two.
This is it.

He looks at his clipboard. Thinking.

KASPER
You can do it.
You can do it.

Just then he hears the SQUAWK
of a police radio.

FEMALE DISPATCHER (O.C.)
(electronic)
-- jumper off the roof
at apartment complex,
see the building manager --

Footsteps CLOMP-CLOMP nearby --

KASPER
Shit.

He ducks behind a big tree. Watches --

Two HOMICIDE DETECTIVES approach on foot.
We recognize them as Nasty and Ugly
Homicide Detectives from earlier in the story.
Nasty speaks into his radio.

NASTY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
(into the radio)
This is Isaacs.
We’re at Ozone and Pacific
about to pick up a possible
suspect for questioning.
Send some uniforms.
We’ll be there as soon
as we can, copy?

FEMALE DISPATCHER (O.C.)
Copy that, over.

The radio SQUAWKS.

UGLY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
The stakeout is set up, right?
ISAACS
Yeah. They’ll pick up
anybody that comes to visit.
(puts the radio in his pocket)
C’mon, Nunn.
Let’s go see the pot dealer.

NUNN
Alleged pot dealer.

ISAACS
Yeah, RIGHT --

They start walking up
the path to the front door.

Kasper comes out from
behind the tree. Freaked.

KASPER
(whispers)
The fucking bitch.
It was HER -- it’s a SET-UP.

Lock And Load

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of THE HEISTERS, Kelsey and her gang break into the stadium box office, but then have to deal with a locked door they didn't plan on ...


EXT. BOX OFFICE ENTRANCE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Chick holds a small, thin flashlight.
A small sliver of light hits
Kelsey, Ronan and Ludo’s feet.

CHICK
Hey, hey.
The gang’s all here.
Follow me.

They walk off into the darkness.

EXT. BOX OFFICE - DOOR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Chick shines a light on the lock
as Kelsey works a key.

It softly CLICKS open.
She smiles.

Quietly pushes the door open.
They file in.

INT. STAIRWELL - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Kelsey leads Ronan, Ludo
and Chick up the stairs.

They walk slowly, carefully,
so as not to make any noise.

INT. STAIRWELL - DOOR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Kelsey pulls out another key.
Works it in the lock.

It softly CLICKS open.
She grabs the doorknob.

KELSEY
(whispers)
Follow me --

And the four of them walk in.

INT. CORRIDOR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
The heisters pad softly down the hallway.
Get to a doorway at the end.

A sign reads AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.
Kelsey sticks a key in.
Tries to turn it. No go.

KELSEY
Fuck --

LUDO
What’s wrong?

KELSEY
It doesn’t work.

RONAN
Maybe they changed the lock?

Chick puts his hand
on Kelsey’s shoulder.

CHICK
Let me try.
The impression copy sometimes
is a bit funky.

KELSEY
(hands him the key)
Knock yourself out.

CHICK
Allow me.

Chick sticks it in the lock,
moves it back and forth in
short, quick movements.

His ear against the door.
Listening.

A soft click.
He turns the knob,
and the door swings open.

KELSEY
Mother-fuck.
Where did you learn how do THAT?

CHICK
Ever heard of Freddie Fingers?

KELSEY
Hell, yeah. Legendary yegg.

CHICK
He was my cell-mate during
a stretch in Ossining.
Taught me everything he knew.

LUDO
What the fuck is a yegg?

RONAN
You know, a Peterman --

LUDO
In English, please.

PUSH IN ON Kelsey. Amused.
Holds up her keys. Jiggles them.

KELSEY
(whispers)
Safecracker --

Cat Got Your Arrest Record?

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of THE HEISTERS, robbery team driver Jefty visits one of the dead boy toys's girlfriends to try and find out if she stole the cash from the heist, with deadly results ...


EXT. SHITTY APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
A plain, ordinary cement joint
on the outskirts of town
brought to you by the color grey.

Jefty walks up the front walk.
Gets to the front door.

Searches the mailboxes for a name.
Finds it. RINGS the bell.

Nervously fingers the clipboard
he’s carrying.

KELSEY (V.O.)
The gag was taking a survey
about entertainment habits.
What were you doing last night?
Watching TV? A DVD?
Cruising the internet?
Social networking?
Playing a videogame?
(beat)
If they were quick to respond,
we knew they weren’t a suspect.
Anybody who had killed someone
that violently and robbed them
of two bags stuffed with cash
would react in some way
that’d be noticeable.
(beat)
Simple. Easy.
Something anybody could do --

The door BUZZES. Jefty walks in.

INT. CORRIDOR - NIGHT
Dimly lit. Shitty, stained carpet.
A door OPENS down the hall.

A tough-looking YOUNG CHICK (20’s),
tattooed and pierced
leans out the doorway.
Rubs her black jeans.

TATTOOED CHICK
What do you want?

JEFTY
Are you the woman of the house?

TATTOOED CHICK
Who wants to know?

JEFTY
I’m with the Global Media Group.
We’re doing a survey about
entertainment habits.

TATTOOED CHICK
Entertainment habits?

JEFTY
Yeah. You know, do you
watch TV or DVD’s,
do you go on the internet --
(big smile)
Can I come in?
It’ll just take a minute, I promise.

TATTOOED CHICK
What the fuck. C’mon in.

She ducks in. Jefty follows her.

INT. SHITTY APARTMENT - NIGHT
Jefty follows her into
the threadbare living room --

JEFTY
Thanks for letting me --

Where he sees two
BIG PLAINCLOTHES DETECTIVES
in cheap suits and cheaper haircuts.
Standing in the middle of the room.

NASTY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
Taking a survey, huh?
Can we see some identification?

JEFTY
(starts to freak out)
I, uh -- uh --

UGLY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
What’s the matter, son --
cat got your arrest record?

JEFTY
Sorry -- I made a mistake --

He turns around
and RUNS for the door.

The cops WHIP OUT their guns.
DASH after him.

TATTOOED CHICK
GET the fucker!

IN THE CORRIDOR
Jefty RUNS. TOSSES the clipboard.
Pulls his gun out of his pocket.
Looks for a place to get rid of it.

The cops see the gun. SHOUT out --

UGLY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
STOP, POLICE --

NASTY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
Put the weapon DOWN or we’ll SHOOT --

But he keeps running.
Gets to the end.
Starts to open the door.

The cops OPEN FIRE.
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

Jefty’s body JERKS like a puppet
in a dance of death.

SLAMS against the door.
Slides down, red smears on the glass.

NASTY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
Your show’s been CANCELLED --

Seems Like Old Times

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of THE HEISTERS, we flash back to the start of the heist, when Kelsey, Ronan, Chick and Ludo sneak into the stadium the night before the rock concert ...


EXT. STADIUM GATE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Ludo carries a fold-up chair
and a newspaper.

Sets the chair down
next to the gate.
Puts the paper on it.

He turns toward Chick.
Interlocks his fingers together.
Holds them down below his knees.

Chick steps onto Ludo’s hands
and GRABS the bars.

Ludo then HOISTS Chick up.
He GRABS the top.

Ludo GRABS Chick’s feet
and PUSHES him up higher.

Chick squeezes through
the opening at the top of the gate
and drops down on the other side
with a soft THUD.

Ludo pulls down his scarf.
Sits. Starts reading the paper.

IN THE MERCEDES
Ronan turns. Looks at Kelsey.
Staring out the windshield.

RONAN
Been awhile since we worked together.

KELSEY
(eyes straight ahead)
Seems like old times --

RONAN
(stares at her, fidgets)
You never get nervous, do you.
(off her silence)
I get a bit -- on edge.
Then when the job
gets going, I calm down.
Kinda go onto auto-pilot.

KELSEY
(sees something)
Don’t look now, but we’re
coming in for a landing.

LUDO
Gets up from his chair.
Stretches and yawns.

KELSEY AND RONAN
Get out of the car.
Go the trunk. Open it.

Ronan takes out two
large duffle bags.

Kelsey grabs a large suitcase.
They carry them over to Ludo.

LUDO
(takes Kelsey’s bag)
Gate’s open.

KELSEY
Then let’s go make
a charitable withdrawal --

The Big Bounce

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of THE HEISTERS, professional bank robber Kelsey Hazard has the nerve to meet with Mart Volok, the cop in charge of investigating her latest heist, but not the murder of her boy toy ...


INT. STUDY - NIGHT
A manly room with shelves
of books and a big desk.

Ambience heavy and quiet.
Photos of cops on the walls.

Awards. Trophies. Plaques.
Rifles bolted to the wall on a rack.

Mart sits behind the desk.
Kelsey in a chair in front of it.

MART
So what do you want?
You didn’t come to my home
just to tell me you didn’t do it.

KELSEY
I want names --

MART
Names? What names?

KELSEY
Jackie Tempel’s female associates.

MART
And why would I do that?

KELSEY
Because I could help you.

MART
And why would you do that?

KELSEY
Whoever killed him has something of mine.
And I want it back.

MART
Would that have anything to do with
the semi-automatic weapons
the officers found?
(off her stare)
I can’t figure you out.
You come here, ask ME questions,
and then have the nerve to ask me
to give you information.
Why would I do that?

KELSEY
I dunno. You’re a good guy?
You wanna see justice done?

MART
Look. I know you didn’t kill him, okay?
The timing of when the call
was made to us was doesn’t fit.
And the story about going
to the corner store checked out.
(beat)
My gut tells me you’re dirty.
What’s the story with the guns?
Were you in on that heist
at the rock concert?

KELSEY
Heist? At a rock concert?

Pause.

MART
What’s your name?

KELSEY
Jane. Jane Doe.

MART
Okay -- Jane Doe.
I’m investigating a murder, NOT a robbery.
But in order to keep my perp
from flying the coop,
I’ve let the media concentrate
on the search for you.
But I’m not searching for you, Robbery is.
They figure you were in on it,
given the weapons in the closet.

KELSEY
Did it ever occur to you
that the guns were Jackie’s?

MART
That punk?
He was a low-level errand boy,
not a hard-bitten pro like you.
From where I sit, you reek of heister.

KELSEY
I want names.

MART
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

KELSEY
You’ve got nothing.
No suspects for the murder, OR the robbery.
Give me the names and maybe I can
stir things up a little.

MART
You mean FUCK things up a little --

Pause.

KELSEY
I bet your wife was quite
the dish back in the day.

MART
What the fuck --

KELSEY
(hisses, sharp)
But I guess after having the kids,
her figure kinda went to mush, huh?

MART
Now, LISTEN --

KELSEY
NO. You listen to ME.
You think I came here ALONE?
(off his shocked look)
Give me the fucking NAMES.

MART
From the bulges in your jacket
I can tell you’re carrying
at least two weapons.

KELSEY
And from the bulge in your gut
I can tell you can’t do two sit-ups.

MART
I have a gun holstered on my hip.
From that position,
I’m the fastest draw on the force.

KELSEY
Must be nice to come home
to a home-cooked meal every night.
Bet you even read to the kids
before bedtime.

MART
Don’t you DARE threaten my family --

KELSEY
I want the fucking NAMES.
(quietly)
And then when I get what I want,
what was TAKEN from me --
I deliver them to you
on a silver platter.
With a nice, big bow.

MART
Do you really expect me to --

KELSEY
I bet she makes really
good mashed potatoes --

Pause.

MART
Okay. You win. This round.

He opens up a notebook on the desk.
Pulls off a blank piece of paper.

Turns to a page. Looks at it.
Grabs a pencil. Starts writing --

MART
But know this.
All of these people are under surveillance,
and if you get within fifty feet of them,
you’re gonna be behind bars
so fast your head will spin. GOT it?

Kelsey watches him.
Smiles like a cat.

KELSEY
Well, I hope at least
I’ll have time for desert --

Real Housewives

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Mondah. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of THE HEISTERS, Kelsey pays a visit to the cop in charge of the case against her ...


INT. SUBURBAN STREET - NIGHT
The car door opens.
Kelsey gets out.

Walks up the sidewalk
to the front door.
She RINGS the bell.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I knew I had to play
my cards VERY carefully.
It’s usually not
a good idea to fuck with
officers of the law.

The door OPENS.
A small HOUSEWIFE (40’s),
formerly cute, now a
faded wisp of suburban malaise,
stands there staring at
Kelsey with alarm.
Eyes blinking.
Mind whirring.

KELSEY
Sorry to bother you,
but I’d like to speak
to detective Volok.

MRS. VOLOK
I, uh --
I don’t think he’s --

KELSEY
Tell him it’s about
the Jackie Tempel case.

She stares at Kelsey balefully.
But it’s dinner-time.

Deer in the klieg lights.
She deflates. Sighs.

MRS. VOLOK
I’ll go get him.

The Real Housewife of
Santa Monica pads away.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I could smell the pot roast.
Talk about perfect timing.

MART VOLOK (45)
appears in the door.

Tall and thin with a belly.
Casual in jeans and a sweatshirt.

But the eyes tell it all.
Razor-sharp. Dark and menacing.
Appraising.

MART
You said you wanted
to talk about the Tempel case?
You have some information?

KELSEY
I might.

MART
Are you here
to give yourself up?

KELSEY
You’re a funny guy.

MART
I have my moments.
(beat)
You’re the one
who found the body, right?

KELSEY
Maybe.

MART
And beat the shit out of
two of my officers?

KELSEY
Price of doing business.

MART
Come inside --

Spin The Dick

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of THE HEISTERS, we flashback to the start of Kelsey's stadium heist, then flash forward to the present, where she shows up at the home of the cop in charge of investigating the robbery to find some clues ...


EXT. STADIUM - NORTH GATE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Deserted at this hour.
A large, old black Mercedes sedan
idles at the curb.

The exhaust softly puffs out
a white cloud in the moonlight.

We see four DARK FIGURES
huddled inside.

KELSEY (V.O.)
There’s nothing like the feeling
you get at the start of a heist.
At first it’s like
butterflies in your stomach,
like you’re going onstage.
But once you get going,
it’s a pure adrenaline rush.
Better than drugs. Booze.
Gambling. Even sex --
(beat)
Well, almost.

INT. MERCEDES SEDAN - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Ronan’s behind the wheel.
Kelsey rides shotgun
in the passenger seat.

Chick and Ludo sit in the back.
They all wear stadium uniforms.
Everybody SNAPS on thin latex gloves.

KELSEY
(to Ronan)
Ready to rock and roll?

Kelsey’s wearing a long, blonde wig.
TONS of makeup that makes her
look glitzy, and a darker skin tone.

Tres exotic. NOT white. With maximum
cleavage for maximum distraction.

RONAN
Solid, doll.
Let’s crack this sucker like a walnut --
(smiles)
And let the heist begin.

Ronan’s skin is also now
darker with makeup.

A big, wide fake nose and a
close-cropped beard
complete his disguise.

CHICK
Where’s Mickey Spillane
when you need him?
(to Ludo)
It’s showtime, boychick.

LUDO
(to Kelsey and Ronan)
See you in the funny papers.

Chick and Ludo slide on baseball caps.
Pull big scarves up over their noses.
Open their doors. Get out.

EXT. FOURTEENTH STREET - NIGHT
A leafy side street off Wilshire
on the north side of Santa Monica.

Safe, quiet, and not too expensive.
The beige seats.

Kelsey’s beat-up Toyota
pulls up to the curb.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I read in the newspaper that
homicide detective Mart Volok
was in charge of the case --
(beat)
I did a little research,
found the guy’s address --
and now it was time
to play ‘spin the dick.’

Ding Dong Bitch

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of THE HEISTERS, Kelsey meets with her gang to figure out a plan to try and find the money that was stolen from their bank job ...


INT. RONAN’S HOTEL ROOM - DAY
Blinds are drawn. A heavy haze
of smoke hangs in the air.

And the smell of sweat.
Desperation. Anger.

Everyone’s seated on the couch,
the floor, and all available chairs.

Becky puts a bowl of chips
and dip on the coffee table.

If you didn’t know better,
you’d think it was a party.

KASPER
(glares at Jefty)
But I still say how do we know
it wasn’t one of us?

RONAN
If YOU ripped off a million bucks,
would YOU still be in town?

JEFTY
(eyes Kasper)
I dunno.
If someone was doing a cross,
they would stick around.
A cover, you know --

KASPER
Fuck you.
I didn’t do it --

CHICK
(looks at Ludo)
Well, that WOULD be the perfect cover.
Steal the dough, then stay holed up
like the rest of us --

LUDO
(eyes Chick)
And maybe they had some HELP --

Pause.

CHICK
(eyes Ronan)
But then on the other hand,
some of us were alone the whole time --

RONAN
HEY. I fucking PUT THIS JOB TOGETHER.
You think I’m going to double cross
all of you?

LUDO
(shrugs)
Happens all the time --

KELSEY
ENOUGH, all of you.
I had the fucking money, I was
gone for TEN FUCKING MINUTES,
and nobody knew where I was except RONAN,
who I called right after the shit went down.
There’s NO WAY he could of have done it --
(sighs)
If we’re going to get the money back,
we’re going to have to work together,
and not BICKER like a bunch of
fucking school girls, GOT IT?
(off their stares)
Alright. It’s settled --
(beat)
Now, like I told you, Jackie Tempel
was stabbed through the neck
with a samurai sword he
had hanging over the bed.
That makes it a crime of passion,
so we’re looking for some chick
he was seeing -- and dumped.
Or cheated on.

LUDO
And how are we going to find HER?

Kelsey pulls out the kid’s cell.
Holds it up. Smiles.

KELSEY
I grabbed his phone.
And looking through all the names on it,
we’ve got ourselves a nice little list
of chickies.

CHICK
So what’s the plan, then?

KELSEY
We’ve got five names --
(beat)
I want each of you to check out
one of them. Tonight.

JEFTY
You want us to play ding-dong bitch?

LUDO
(suspicious)
What are you going to do?

KELSEY
I’m going to pay a little visit
to the homicide detective
in charge of the case.
See if there are any names
we don’t know about.

RONAN
But won’t that be -- dangerous?

KELSEY
Not a problem.
(beat)
Danger is my business --

The Morning After

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 12 of THE HEISTERS, after a lost weekend of carnal desires with her latest boy toy, Kelsey is horrified to discover she's pregnant ...


INT. SHITTY MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Tiny. Sleazy.
‘Threadbare’ would a compliment.

Kelsey crouches on the bed,
doggy-style, gripping the headboard,
while Ponytailed fucks
the SHIT out of her.

INT. SHITTY MOTEL ROOM - DAY
Cold, grey light spills in
through the blinds.

Ponytailed sits on the bed,
pulling on his jeans.

Kelsey sips a can of lukewarm beer.
Lies dreamily on the bed.

KELSEY
How about one more for the road?

PONYTAILED BIKER
Damn, woman.
You just don’t quit.
(looks at her)
Been three days now,
and we ain’t hardly
left the fuckin’ ROOM.

He grabs his boots.
Puts them on.
She lights a smoke.

KELSEY
Got an itch that
needs to be scratched.

PONYTAILED BIKER
They should call you
Poison Ivy --

INT. SHITTY MOTEL ROOM - BATHROOM - NIGHT
Kelsey leans over the toilet.
OMITS. Goes to the sink.

Splashes her face with water.
Looks in the mirror.

KELSEY
Fuck me --

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
Kelsey stands at the counter.
Pays for her purchase.

The SHIT-KICKER CLERK (50’s)
smiles knowingly.

Hands her her change.

SHIT-KICKER CLERK
Know a doctor that can
take care of it for ya --

GRABS it.
Hurries toward the exit.

KELSEY
Fuck off, Billy Bob.

INT. SHITTY MOTEL ROOM - BATHROOM - NIGHT
Kelsey sits on the toilet.
Pulls out the home
pregnancy test strip.

Looks at it.
Exhales.

KELSEY
Shit.

INT. SHITTY MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Kelsey lies in bed. Smoking.
Sips a can of beer. Thinking.

KELSEY
(a whisper)
I’m gonna give you all
the things I never had.
Things are gonna be
different for you --

Basic Instinct

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 11 of THE HEISTERS, we flashback to Kelsey celebrating her latest haul ... by picking up a scary character in a dive bar ...


INT. DIVE BAR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Dark. Grungy. Filled with BIKERS,
BLUE-COLLAR WORKERS and
other assorted riffraff.

Ugly, nasty heavy metal
BLARES on the juke.

The kinda place your
momma warned you about.

A glass BREAKS somewhere in the smoky haze.
Someone starts SHOUTING.

A fist-fight breaks out.
A chair is SMASHED.

Burly BOUNCER throws a pair of
BLOODIED REDNECKS out on the street.

Sitting at the bar is KELSEY (20),
looking hot in jeans, t-shirt,
black leather jacket and red lips.

She SLAMS down a double shot of brown.
CRACKS it on the bar.

KELSEY
Hit me AGAIN.

She takes a chug from her beer.
SCARY BARTENDER (40’s)
brings over a bottle.

Pours another. Tries to smile.
Not a pretty sight.

Kelsey pulls out a wad of bills.
SLAPS one down.

KELSEY
Might as well leave the bottle.
Scary picks up the bill.

It’s a C-note.
Raises his eyebrows.

KELSEY
Keep the change.

He nods.
Stuffs the bill
in his pocket.
Slides away.

A PONYTAILED BIKER
sitting next to her
gives her a gold-toothed grin.

A young Mickey Roarke
in cracked black leather.

PONYTAILED BIKER
Looks like someone’s celebratin.’

Kelsey turns. Looks.
Likes what she sees.

KELSEY
Got THAT fuckin’ right.

She pours them both a shot.
They raise them in a toast.

PONYTAILED BIKER
So what are we drinkin’ to?

Kelsey pulls at her jacket,
revealing a GUN in her waistband.

KELSEY
Armed ROBBERY.

PONYTAILED BIKER
(grins)
Works for me.

And they SLAM them.

The Bank Job

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Wednesday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 10 of THE HEISTERS, we flashback to before the robbery, when Kelsey grills her crew on the plan ...


EXT. DOWNTOWN WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
A giant abandoned brick warehouse
in the shitty part of East Los Angeles.

Barren. Desolate. Not a soul to be seen.
Even the rats have split.

KELSEY (V.O.)
The dry run had gone well.
It was just as Ronan said it would be.
The job was starting to shape up nicely.

INT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Kenny, DeLuca, Aber, Garza and Jones
sit around a crude table
built with planks on saw horses.

Kelsey sits at the head of the table.
Lights a cigarette. Thinking. Watching them.

KELSEY (V.O.)
We had found the drivers
through Ronan’s connections.
We wanted new blood.
Guys who didn’t have
that much of a rap sheet,
but who had good reps.
Solid. Reliable.
But not the usual wheelmen
the cops would round up
after the job was done.
And I wanted guys who could
jack clean vehicles in a hurry --

LUDO
I still don’t get why
we have to stay here.
The joint is filthy --
there’s all kinds of cockroaches
and rats and shit.
If it’s alright with you,
I’d like to stay somewhere else.

RONAN
It’s just for a couple of days
until we do the job.

LUDO
Yeah, but this place is --

KELSEY
(sharp)
If you want out, now is
the time to say so.
We’ll need to find a replacement.

Chick light a smoke.
Gives Ludo the fish-eye.

CHICK
Don’t be such a fucking pussy.
We got tents and sleeping bags.
Think of it like summer camp.

RONAN
You want to save your
fucking restaurant or what?

LUDO
Alright, alright --

KELSEY
Then it’s settled. Enough kibitzing.
It’s time to talk transportation.
(beat)
We’re gonna need four vehicles --

KASPER
FOUR vehicles?

JEFTY
Yeah. How come?

KELSEY
First we need an ambulance.
And then a car small enough
to fit into it.

CHICK
That’s brilliant.

LUDO
And the other two vehicles?

KELSEY
We need a small truck, and then
another car we can fit in it --

RONAN
Nice, huh? We do the job
with the two smaller cars,
hen hide them immediately
in the bigger vehicles.

JEFTY
Fucking cool. I like it.

KASPER
Yeah. It’s like outta
some movie or some shit.

RONAN
Why do you think I brought her onboard?
She’s the master at this shit.

Kelsey nods.
A smile flies across her lips.
Then disappears.

KELSEY
But we’ve got our work
cut out for ourselves.
It’s Wednesday night,
and we have two days
to get our shit together.

JEFTY
(smiles)
Not a problem.
I can get BOTH cars tomorrow.

KELSEY
You know where to get some clean plates?

JEFTY
Does my man Tiger got wood?

KELSEY
(chuckles)
Too much information.
(to Kasper)
Can you get us the truck and the ambulance?

KASPER
Does a crack whore shit in The Hood?

CHICK
We gotta couple more comedians.
Keep this up, and we can go on tour.

KELSEY
(to Kasper and Jefty)
If you can get the vehicles
by tomorrow, that would be great.
Be nice to have some extra time
to outfit the insides and make adjustments.
I’ve learned the hard way it’s best
not to wait until the last minute.
If you rush, the job turns to mush.

JEFTY
So how did you get in the business?
Hot dame like you --

RONAN
That’s none of your fucking business.
She’s just like us, a pro, on a job.
Leave the personal shit out of it, okay?

Kelsey jerks her head toward Ronan.
Narrows her eyes.

KELSEY
It’s okay. I’m used to it --

She stands. Starts walking around the table.
Looking at each of them. Eyes on fire.

KELSEY
My parents jacked banks.
When I was eighteen,
they got killed on a job.
(shakes her head)
They tried to take out a downtown
Wells Fargo all by themselves.
(beat)
My grandfather took me under his wing.
(bitter smile)
As luck would have it, he was
one of the best heisters on the west coast.
Taught me everything I know.
I like to think it’s oddly poetic
that I continued the family business.
(beat)
But I don’t do banks. Ever.
(beat)
That shit will get you killed --

A Well-Oiled Machine

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 9 of THE HEISTERS, pro bank robber Ronan Kelsey visits wheelman Casper Garza and lookout Jefty Jones at their shitty motel and enlists their help finding the missing dough from the heist ...


EXT. THE MATADOR MOTEL - DAY
A seedy ‘sex motel’ on the
outskirts of Santa Monica.
Beyond sleazy-looking.

The usual assortment of
street trash loiter outside.
A sign reads NO VACAN Y.

A cab pulls up and parks
at the sidewalk.

INT. CAB - DAY
Ronan leans over the divider.
Shows the BORED CABBIE
a fifty-dollar bill.

He RIPS it in two.
Hands him half.

RONAN
Wait for me and you get the rest.

BORED CABBIE
How long you gonna be?

RONAN
Five minutes, tops.

BORED CABBIE
(looks at the motel)
You’re FAST.

RONAN
It’s business, buster.

BORED CABBIE
Yeah, right.
And I’m Donald Trump --

INT. MATADOR MOTEL - SHITTY ROOM - DAY
A ridiculous ‘theme room’ made up
to look like a medieval castle cell.

But the ‘stones’ on the wallpaper
are peeling.

Two MEN sit on the bed watching TV.
A pizza box lays between them.

They both take swigs
from forties of malt liquor.

Take hits from a joint
they pass back and forth.

LARGE BLACK GUY
DAMN, that’s some serious SHIT.
Saturday Night Fever blew
the fucking nigger’s BRAINS out --

Meet JEFTY JONES (28),
massive muscle-for-hire.

Former gang-banger, now
working his way up the ladder.

Precision driver. Chip on his
shoulder the size of a Escalade.

HISPANIC GUY
I can’t believe you never
seen this shit, homes --
(passes the joint)
Tarantino is THE MAN.
You ever seen JACKIE BROWN?

Meet KASPER GARZA (25), former
Mexican drug cartel runner.

Decided he liked LA better.
Bulky fireplug. Wannabe boxer.

But partied too much. Could be
Luis Guzman’s little brother.

JEFTY
(takes the joint)
I seen dat. Pam Grier got BACK.

A soft knock-knock-knock at the door.
They both pull out GUNS.

Kasper hops off the bed.
Tip-toes up to the door.

Nods at Jefty, who’s got
his weapon aimed. He nods.

KASPER
Who’s there?

RONAN (O.C.)
The Good Humor man. Open up.

KASPER
Ronan?

RONAN (O.C.)
Yeah. Open the fucking door.

KASPER
How do I know it’s you?

RONAN (O.C.)
If you don’t open the door,
I’ll break it down and kick your
wetback ass all the way to TIJUANA.

KASPER
(to Jefty, smiles)
It’s him --

He unlocks the door. Opens it.
Ronan comes in. Surveys the scene.
Shakes his head.

RONAN
All that’s missing are the hookers --

JEFTY
They left last night.
Ain’t gonna pay ‘em for sleepin’ --

KASPER
So whassup?
You said some shit went down.

RONAN
The score got jacked.

JEFTY
What THE FUCK?

KASPER
I KNEW we shouldn’ta trusted
that fucking BITCH --

RONAN
Shut the fuck UP and let me TALK.
(off their silence)
Kelsey didn’t do it.
She went out for five minutes
to get supplies at the corner,
and when she got back her
boy-toy was harpooned to the bed,
and the cash was GONE.
She called me right away.

They stop. Stare at each other.

KASPER
(to Jefty)
When you went out to get the beer,
you took A LONG TIME. Over an hour --

JEFTY
I tol’ you, man.
I ran outta fucking GAS --

KASPER
But you were by yourself --

JEFTY
That’s because you DIDN’T WANNA COME.
How do we know YOU didn’t do it, HUH?
You were by yourself, TOO.

RONAN
Shut THE FUCK UP!

They WHIP their heads
in his direction. Glare at him.

RONAN
We’re not gonna get anywhere
yelling at each other
and pointing the finger.
(beat)
Kelsey and I think it was non-pro.
The boy-toy’s ex or some shit.
We’re all meeting up to
figure out how to find ‘em,
so pack up your shit and let’s go.
I’ve got a cab waiting outside.

They eye Ronan suspiciously.

JEFTY
(stares at Kasper)
But I thought we were
supposed to lay low --

KASPER
(glares at Jefty)
Yeah, till the heat was off --

RONAN
Suit yourself.
Stay here and party down.
But when we get the money
you’re on your own.

JEFTY
Shit, hold on.
I’m comin,’ I’m comin.’

KASPER
Yo, chill. Let me get my shit.

They both race around the room.
Grabbing their bags, stuffing
their belongings in them.

RONAN
(shakes his head)
I love a well-oiled machine --

The Blind Leading The Blind

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 8 of THE HEISTERS, we flash back again to Kelsey and her gang planning the robbery of the box office at a charity rock concert ...


INT. MOTOR COURT CABIN - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Ronan, Ludo and Chick
look at Kelsey expectantly.
She drains her beer. Thinking.

KELSEY
It might work.
But I need to know more about the setup.
The layout. How many guards --

RONAN
Yeah, yeah -- I’m gettin’ to that.

He pulls out a piece of graph paper.
Unfolds it. Lays it down on the table.
Kelsey comes over. Looks.

RONAN
(points)
Okay. There’s three box offices, on the east,
west and north side of the stadium.
Every hour the money gets picked up
from each one and gets brought over
to the south side where the
finance office is on the second floor --

KELSEY
Who delivers it?

RONAN
Pair of armed guards.
They take it down a corridor under the stands.
Be easy to hit, but they only carry a
couple of grand each trip.
(off Kelsey’s nod)
In the finance office, the cash is counted
and put into money boxes that go to the bank.
They’ll be finished before the concert is over
because they don’t want the armored car
to get stuck in the traffic jam
that’ll happen when everyone leaves.

KELSEY
When does it come?

RONAN
When they call for it.
And it doesn’t stay long.
Just long enough to pick up
the dough and split.
It’s flanked by two local cop cars
in front and back all the way the bank.

KELSEY
What’s the setup in the finance office?
How many guards?

RONAN
Four armed guards and six employees.
You go in through a locked door.
Knock first, and then they
check you out through a peephole.

KELSEY
And it’s gonna be mostly small bills, right?

CHICK
(nods)
We figure two big duffle bags oughta handle it.

Kelsey nods. Thinking.

KELSEY
Tell me again about the gate.

RONAN
There’s three of them. They’re old, with
ornamental spikes that go up almost to the top,
but there’s still room for someone to climb over it.
They go over, and then unlock it and let us in.

KELSEY
What if somebody sees us?

RONAN
Already thought of that. The east gate is where
the photographers take pictures of the losers
who wait in line all night, and the west gate
is on the main drag -- but the north gate is
across the street from the park,
which will be empty when we go in.

CHICK
He’s got it covered --

KELSEY
Okay. Then what?

RONAN
We go through three locks, and then
we’re in the finance office.

KELSEY
Is there anything going on there tonight?

RONAN
On a weeknight? Nah --

KELSEY
Then let’s do a dry run.

LUDO
Tonight? Right now?

CHICK
You got something better to do?

KELSEY
We need to make impressions of the locks.
And I want to get the feel of the place.
Sniff it out.

RONAN
Like a bloodhound, huh?

KELSEY
Nah. More like a seeing eye dog.

LUDO
How do you figure?

CHICK
The blind leading the blind.

KELSEY
Bingo.

Backflash

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 7 of THE HEISTERS, Kelsey meets with Ludo and Chick and grills them about who stole the money from the robbery ...


INT. SHITTY MOTEL ROOM - DAY
Tears form in Ludo’s eyes.
He takes a step back.

PLOPS onto the couch.
Head in his hands.

LUDO
If I don’t get the money --
the bank’ll take the RESTAURANT.

CHICK
(looks at Kelsey)
Tony Soprano he’s not.
(beat)
So tell us what happened.

KELSEY
I was holed up with this kid
in bed for two days since the job.
I went out for ten minutes
to get smokes and beer,
and I come back and he’s
harpooned to the bed with
a sword and the money’s gone.
(takes a sip)
That’s about it.

LUDO
SHIT.

CHICK
Fuck --
(beat)
Did the kid know about the job?

KELSEY
Nah. Low-level runner for
Jimmy Two-Fingers. NOT a player --

LUDO
Maybe Garza and Jones --

CHICK
Are you fucking KIDDING ME?
They’re fucking DRIVERS.
Their combined IQ is the TEMPERATURE.
Smells like a spurned lover,
that kind of thing.
(thinks)
On the other hand, maybe -- Ronan?

KELSEY
No way. He set up the job.
I’ve known him a long time.
I’ll vouch for him.

CHICK
(not sold)
If you say so --

LUDO
(stares at Chick)
Hey, wait a minute.
You went out tonight.
(to Kelsey)
Maybe HE did it --

CHICK
I was at the movies.
You really think
an old man like me
is gonna HARPOON
someone with a SWORD?
And look at me,
how am I gonna carry
two giant duffle bags that
weigh a fucking ton?

LUDO
I dunno. You had some HELP?

CHICK
You’re barking up the wrong tree,
you fucking GOOMBAH --
(realizes)
What about while I was gone, HUH?
You’ve got the motive,
that fucking RESTAURANT.
Maybe YOU did it --

LUDO
Fuck you, you fucking Jew-bastard FUCK --

KELSEY
STOP IT, BOTH of you --
(off their silence)
Ronan and I think it’s an outsider.
If it was one of us, we would’ve
just taken the haul --
we wouldn’t have killed the kid.
That would be stupid.
It would bring down too much heat.
(beat)
We think we should regroup
and find who did it, together.

LUDO
You mean out in the open?

CHICK
You gotta better idea?

LUDO
But the cop’s will be --

CHICK
Do you want to get the fucking
MONEY BACK or NOT?

Ludo sighs. Glares at Chick.

KELSEY
Then it’s settled.
pack up your shit
and let’s get going.

CHICK
(stares at Ludo)
Where we going?

KELSEY
Venice Motor Hotel,
right at the beach.
Ronan’s got a suite.

LUDO
Great. I’ll be sure
to pack my bathing suit --

Exit Strategy

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 6 of THE HEISTERS, Kelsey continues to set up the robbery with her co-conspirators. We then flash forward back to the present, where Kelsey meets with two of her heisters to let them know that the cash from the job was stolen ...


INT. SHITTY MOTEL ROOM
Kelsey looks at Ronan. Narrows her eyes.

KELSEY
How many people on the job?

RONAN
We figure two more. Muscle.
Drivers. So that’s six.

She nods slowly. Thinking.

RONAN
So whaddaya think?

KELSEY
What makes it low-risk?

RONAN
Well, we gotta way in.
We just need to take care of
the traffic jam afterwards
so we can get out.
There’s always a traffic jam
at these things.

KELSEY
How do we get in?

RONAN
The box office is old-school.
It’s got a gate.
You climb up over it and get in.
Piece a cake.

KELSEY
So we just walk up to the box office --

RONAN
No, no, no.
Here’s the beauty part.
We go in the night before.
Then wait until the morning.
The box office opens at seven,
and the concert starts at nine.
It’s one of those all-day things.
You know, like a festival.

KELSEY
I see --

RONAN
We just need help figuring out
the exit strategy.

Kelsey sips her beer.
Leans back against the pillow.
Closes her eyes.

A clock TICK-TICK-TICKS.
Everybody watches her. Thinking.
She opens them. Sits up.

KELSEY
Ambulance. We rig up a fake one
and rescue somebody.

Ronan, Ludo and Chick exchange glances.
Big smiles.

CHICK
The woman is a GENIUS.

KELSEY
Hey. Why do you think
I make the big bucks?

EXT. THE INTERNATIONAL MOTEL - DAY
A piece of shit flea bag
on the wrong end of Pico.

Flags from around the world
painted on white cinder block.

A real dump. You can practically
smell the urine on the page.

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR - MORNING
Kelsey walks down the hall.
Stops at a door.

Knock-knock-knocks softly. Pauses.
Then twice. Stops. Then once again.
The door opens. She goes in.

INT. HOTEL ROOM - MORNING
Shades drawn. Dark.
A smoky haze drifts in the room.

Pizza boxes and beer cans
litter the joint.

Chick sits at a table playing solitaire.
Ludo motions Kelsey to come in.

LUDO
I don’t like it.
It’s too soon for us
to see each other.
Something fucked up.
I can smell it.

CHICK
(SNAPS down a card)
Don’t get your wife-beater in a twist.
Let’s hear what she has to say.
She wouldn’t have come over here
and risked everything if it
wasn’t important, right?

KELSEY
No shit.
(beat)
You gotta beer?

LUDO
We drank ‘em all.

CHICK
I got -- scotch?

Kelsey nods. Chick gets up.
Goes to the mini-bar.

Pours two fingers in a glass.
Walks over to Kelsey.
Hands it to her.

KELSEY
Thanks.

She downs it.
Looks at the glass. Sighs.

LUDO
So?

Pause.

KELSEY
Somebody jacked the haul.

LUDO
What the FUCK?

KELSEY
I went out for --

LUDO
You went out? You WENT OUT?
Where the FUCK did you GO?
Holy FUCKING SHIT.
What the fuck were you DOING?
How could you --

CHICK
(hisses)
HEY. Calm the FUCK down and let her
tell us what the fuck HAPPENED.

LUDO
YOU calm the fuck down, ASSHOLE.
The money’s GONE.

Kelsey sighs. Goes to the bar.
Freshens her drink. Sips it.

CHICK
But maybe we can fucking
GET IT BACK if you let her
TELL US WHAT HAPPENED.
(pulls out his gun)
So shut the FUCK up and
stop acting like your version
of what you think a tough guy
is supposed to ACT like.

LUDO
What the fuck is THAT
supposed to mean?

CHICK
It means you’re not
acting like a PROFESSIONAL.
It’s hotheads like you
that’ll get us killed,
in jail, broke -- or a
combination of all three.

Tears form in Ludo’s eyes.
He takes a step back.

PLOPS onto the couch.
Head in his hands.

LUDO
If I don’t get the money --
the bank’ll take the RESTAURANT.

CHICK
(looks at Kelsey)
Tony Soprano he’s not --

Ace Shares

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 5 of THE HEISTERS, we flashback to Kelsey's meeting with the gang to plan the big robbery ...


EXT. SURF MOTOR COURT MOTEL - DAY - FLASHBACK
A crusty, old ramshackle affair
just off PCH facing the ocean.

A row of tiny, shitty cabins
on each side of the office.

A sign blinks ‘No V can y’
in pale pink neon.

Kelsey’s beater pulls into
the gravel lot with a CRUNCH.

She parks. Gets out.
Walks over to the office.

INT. SURF MOTOR COURT MOTEL - OFFICE - DAY
A dump. A small fan tries
to push around the fetid air.

The GROTESQUE CLERK,
the white version of Precious,
looks up from her National Enquirer.
Shoves a Pringle’s in her gaping maw.

GROTESQUE CLERK
(shaking her head, munching)
Sorry. All full up --

KELSEY
I don’t need a room.
I’m looking for John Smith’s cabin.

GROTESQUE CLERK
(makes a face)
Another one, huh?
(off her nod)
Cabin ten.
On the right, at the end.

Kelsey nods. Leaves.
Grotesque watches her go.

GROTESQUE CLERK
Guess dey’re not queers, den --

EXT. MOTOR COURT CABIN - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
A faded, peeling, shitty,
tiny little ‘vacation’ home.

Kelsey walks up to the door.
KNOCK-KNOCKS on it. It OPENS.

Ronan Kenny stands there
holding a beer. Big smile.

RONAN
Come on in and pull up a log.

INT. MOTOR COURT CABIN - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
A tiny, cramped space,
dark with the shades drawn.

Kelsey follows Ronan in.
Eyes squinting. Adjusting to the light.

Ronan looks at two MEN
sitting at a small table.

RONAN
Guys, this is Kelsey. Kelsey Hazard.

KELSEY
(nods)
Gentlemen --

A large ITALIAN GUY (40’s)
gives her the once-over.

ITALIAN GUY
You said she was a pro,
but you didn’t tell me
she was fuckin’ HOT.

Meet LUDO DELUCA, failed restauranteur.
Expert chef. Not so expert at business.

Double chin and a belly.
Salt and pepper.

But good-looking, in that
mobster-looking kinda way.

KELSEY
(to Ronan, deadpan)
And you didn’t tell me
Pauley Walnuts was gonna be here.

A small, thin JEWISH GUY (50’s)
chuckles softly.

JEWISH GUY
Oy. And she’s a comedian.

Meet CHICK ABER, smooth-talking
pro heister from way back.
Dapper. Smart.

With more than a little of
the Borscht Belt in him.

Smoking a cigar.
Eyes crinkled with mischief.

RONAN
(to Kelsey)
The goombah-goodfella on the left
is Ludo DeLuca, and the cheap,
ew-bastard on the right here
is Chick Aber.

CHICK
Jew-bastard?
If my parents could hear you now,
rest their souls.

LUDO
Don’t listen to him.
I come from a family of
restauranteurs, NOT wiseguys --

Kelsey nods slowly.
Appraising them.
Sits on the bed.

KELSEY
Gentlemen --

Ronan walks over to her.
Hands her a bottle of beer.

KELSEY
Thanks. So tell me about the job.

He smiles. Leans against
the kitchenette counter.

Takes a pull off his longneck.
Wipes his mouth with his sleeve.

RONAN
It’s a sweet job.
Easy pickings. Low risk.

LUDO
It’s a rock concert --

CHICK
A charity event --

RONAN
At UCLA. The Rose Bowl.

KELSEY
You want to knock off The Rose Bowl --

RONAN
It’s a cinch.
I worked security there.

I know the layout -- the box office,
security, the whole shebang.

KELSEY
But aren’t seats for that kinda thing
sold on Ticketmaster? Online?

RONAN
Usually, yes. But not this one.
It’s a special benefit for disaster relief.
The tickets are bought on-site, that day.

KELSEY
Which disaster?

RONAN
That uh, earthquake thing.

KELSEY
You’re planning on ripping off
a CHARITY FUND-RAISER?

RONAN
Well, they’ve already
raised a billion dollars,
who’s gonna miss a million?

Kelsey sips her beer.

KELSEY
A million? That’s a big score --
(beat)
Anybody asking ace shares?

LUDO
Nope. Equal split,
right down the middle.

KELSEY
Who’s bankrolling it?

RONAN
I am. The job’s THAT good.

KELSEY
That’s very generous of you.

RONAN
I’m a generous guy --

Amateur Hour

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of THE HEISTERS,


INT. VENICE MOTOR COURT HOTEL - CORRIDOR - NIGHT
Kelsey walks up to a door.
Knocks softly three times.

Then stops. Then once again.
The door opens. She goes in.

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
Your standard, bland touristy-tacky room
brought to you by the color beige.

Big painting of a ship at sea.
Cliche much?

Standing in the room is RONAN KENNY (40’s),
a big, burly block of Irish Spring.

Jet-black hair frames a face
that only a boxer could love.

Crude prison tattoos
dot faded grey skin.

He CRUSHES a can of beer.
Tosses it the trash can.
Stares at her meaningfully.

RONAN
I’d say it was great to see ya,
but since you’re gonna give me
bad news, I dunno.

KELSEY
Tell me about it.

Kelsey sees a YOUNG BLONDE CHICK (20)
sitting on the bed.

KELSEY
Who’s the frill?

RONAN
This is Becky.

BECKY
(gives a little wave)
Hey.

Meet BECKY FINE, party girl deluxe.
Your standard former cheerleader now on a
one-way bender to hitting the skids.

Puffy, red-rimmed eyes belie
a soft expanse of creamy skin.

BECKY
Well, aren’t you going o introduce us?

Ronan pulls out his wallet.
Goes over. Hands her some cash.

RONAN
Why don’t you go to the supermarket
and get us some more beer.
And get some chips. Beef jerky.
That kinda shit.

BECKY
(pouts)
But the supermarket’s fifteen minutes away --

He stares at her. She stares back.
Then crumples. Gets up. Grabs her bag.
Goes out the door. Slams it. BANG.

KELSEY
Don’t tell me.
You met her on a job.

RONAN
Nah. Believe it or not,
we’ve been dating a few weeks.
Got some fucked-up daddy fixation.
(motions to the table)
Enough chit-chat. What happened?

They both sit. Kelsey pulls out her smokes.
Lights one up. Studies him carefully.
He stares at her stone-faced.

KELSEY
I went out for ten minutes to get supplies,
come back, boy-toy is DEAD,
and the money’s GONE.

RONAN
Fuck.

KELSEY
Yeah.

RONAN
FUCK.

KELSEY
Uh, YEAH.

RONAN
Whaddaya think?
Was it someone on the crew,
or an outside job?

KELSEY
Smells like a civilian.
The kid was fucking STABBED
with a samurai sword in the neck.
He was fucking HARPOONED to the bed.

RONAN
Shit --

KELSEY
Why would a burglar do that?
They just want to get in and out.
Must have been someone that knew him,
had a grudge. Like an ex-lover.
Maybe it was a crime of passion.
And then they called the cops
so I would take the fall.
So they must have been watching us --

RONAN
Makes sense. But just to make sure,
we should check out the rest
of the crew, don’tcha think?
Someone could be trying to make it
LOOK like a crime of passion.

KELSEY
Nah. This smells like
amateur hour all the way.
If one of our crew did it,
they wouldn’t have killed the kid.
No percentage in it -- it would
have turned the heat up to ‘high.’
We need to gather everybody up
and work on this as a team.
(thinks)
DeLuca and Aber are shacked up together.
I’ll get them first.
You track down Garza and Jones.

RONAN
Okay.

KELSEY
Good --

They stare at each other.
Something passes between them.

RONAN
Hey. I just realized.
You counted it.
How much did we get?

KELSEY
A little over a million.

RONAN
NICE. So we each get --

He frowns.
Trying to do the math in his head.

KELSEY
About a hundred and seventy-K each.

RONAN
Shit. I could sure use
a hundred and seventy-K.

KELSEY
You and me both, doll.
(beat)
But first we have to get it back --

The Score

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 3 of THE HEISTERS, after discovering the cash from her robbery was stolen, Kelsey contacts the guy who helped her set up the job with a view to finding out who was behind the double cross ...


EXT. BEACH PARKING LOT - DAWN - FLASHBACK
Titles read ‘A FEW DAYS EARLIER.’

A handful of junky cars sit parked overnight.
Kelsey walks up to a beat-up old Toyota sedan.

Looks around. No one. She pulls out a long,
thin metal strip from her pocket.

Works in into the window.
POPS the door open. Slides in.

IN THE CAR
She deftly pulls a pair of wires
from the steering column.

Strips them with her teeth.
Presses the ends together.

The engine ROARS to life.
She hits the gas. Drives away.

EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY - DAWN - FLASHBACK
A heart-stopping gorgeous view of the ocean.
Grey and blue waves crest into white
like knives in the bright blue sky.

The famed thoroughfare twists
and turns around the coastline.

Weaves through giant rock formations
as if on a dare.

ANGLE ON --
The crappy Toyota rumbles
along in the sparse traffic.

INT. TOYOTA SEDAN - DAWN - FLASHBACK
Kelsey sits behind the wheel.
Cigarette dangling on her lip.
Rakish in Ray Ban shades.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I’d been holed up in Santa Barbara
the last few months taking it easy.
Enjoying the local color.
Shellfish, surfing and sex.
(beat)
Not necessarily in that order.
(beat)
When I saw that I’d blown through
half the dough from the last job,
I knew it was time to rustle up
some more scratch.
And it was time to pay the bill
at my kid’s assisted care facility again.
Place is fucking expensive.
But it’s the best in the country.
What’s a mother to do?
(beat)
So I spread the word through the grapevine
that I was looking for some action.
Things were pretty quiet for a while,
but then I caught a break.
I got a call from one of my go-betweens
that my old pal in LA Ronan Kenny
was putting together a sweet little stadium job.
(beat)
So here I was, on my way to the City of Angels,
the land of celluloid dreams.
Except this was no dream.
This was the real deal --
(beat)
Little did I know it would soon
become a nightmare.

EXT. BAY STREET - NIGHT
Kelsey walks briskly to her
stolen car of the moment.

A beat-up old Dodge Dart Swinger.
Gets in. Turns on the engine.

INT. DODGE DART SWINGER - MOVING - NIGHT
Kelsey pulls away from the curb.
Drives south on Bay Street.
Pulls out her cell phone.

KELSEY (V.O.)
We all use disposable cell phones during a job.
That way there’s nothing to trace.
None of us knew where we were holed up,
but we COULD call each other.

She fingers a number. Listens.

KELSEY
Ronan, it’s me --
(listens)
Some fucked up shit just went down.
I need to see you.
(listens)
Not on the phone --
(listens)
I don’t want to take that chance.
(listens)
The Venice Motor Court. On Speedway.
(listens)
I’ll be there in ten.

She clicks the phone shut.
Turns left at the next intersection.

Heads south. We see flashes of the beach
between the buildings as she drives.

KELSEY (V.O.)
The plan was, after the job all six of us
would hole up somewhere separately
for a week or two until the heat was off.
Problem was, we did the job two days ago,
so the heat was definitely still ON --

The Getaway

Happy Election Day, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 2 of THE HEISTERS, after finding her boy toy's dead body and the loot from her heist missing, Kelsey then has to deal with a pair of cops who show up on the scene ...


INT. DIVE MOTEL ROOM - DAY
Kelsey RACES over to the closet.
Opens it. Looks. She WHEELS AROUND.
Head whipping back and forth. In a RAGE.

KELSEY
The MONEY --

She stops. Closes her eyes.
takes a deep breath. Opens them.
Now blazing. Full of FIRE.

KELSEY
(under her breath)
Somebody’s gonna DIE.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Police. DON’T MOVE.

Kelsey turns, sees --

TWO POLICE OFFICERS
Standing in the doorway.
A GRIZZLED VET and a YOUNG ROOKIE.
Weapons drawn.

Kelsey expresses blank-faced surprise.
Rookie stares at the body.
Looks like he’s gonna puke.

KELSEY
You got here fast --

RED-FACED ROOKIE COP
What?

GRIZZLED VET COP
You called us?

KELSEY
Hell, yeah. I go down to the corner
to get beer and smokes and I come back
and my fuck-buddy’s been skewered
like a shish-ka-bob. So I called.

She reaches for her pocket.
Red-Faced shakes his weapon.

RED-FACED ROOKIE COP
Don’t MOVE.

KELSEY
I was --
(gestures at her pocket)
Getting a cigarette?

GRIZZLED VET COP
(to Red-Faced)
Put your weapon down, Dunn.
It might go off.

He does, but still looks pissed.
Kelsey nods.

Pulls out a smoke. Lights it.

KELSEY
You think I’d kill someone
and then stick around
until you got here?
(off their silence)
The bag with the receipt
is on the kitchen counter.
Two six-packs of beer,
and a carton of Marlboros.
Seventy-two bucks and change.

GRIZZLED VET COP
(to Dunn)
Go check.

Dunn nod.
Goes off to the kitchen to look.

GRIZZLED VET COP
Sorry about that.
He’s new on the force.

KELSEY
Don’t worry about it.
I’d be suspicious, too.

GRIZZLED VET COP
So what was your relationship
with the victim?

KELSEY
Jackie Tempel? Like I said.
He was a fuck-buddy.
Met him in a bar
a couple of nights ago.
We’ve been shacked up ever since.

GRIZZLED VET COP
You live around here?

KELSEY
From New York.
Here on vacation.

Dunn comes back in.
Looks sheepish. But still pissy.

DUNN
It checks out, chief.
Receipt says the purchase
was made five minutes ago.

Grizzled Vet nods.
Stares at Kelsey carefully.

GRIZZLED VET
You check the closet?
Perp could be hiding in there.

KELSEY
I checked. No one there.

GRIZZLED VET COP
(to Dunn)
Go take a look.

Dunn nods. Goes to the closet.

KELSEY
You’re wasting your time --

The rookie opens the door.
Looks down. Eyes go wide.

DUNN
Well, look at what we have HERE.
Machine guns, handguns --
a regular ARSENAL.
(turns and looks)
Cuff her, partner.
We got us a real --

Kelsey GRABS a book off the dresser.
HURLS it at Dunn’s head, CRACK.
He WHEELS BACKWARDS into the closet, THWUMP.

She WHIRLS around.
KNEES Grizzled Vet in the groin.

He doubles over in pain.
She PUNCHES him in the throat.

Grizzled HITS the floor,
GASPING for breath.

Dunn starts to get up,
but Kelsey’s too fast.
She DASHES over to the closet
and KICKS him in the head.

He goes back down.
Out like a light.

Grizzled starts to get up,
still wheezing.

Reaches for his piece --
but Kelsey GRABS it and CRACKS
him on the head with it. THWUMP.
He goes down for the count.

She races over to the closet.
Grabs the pistols.

Stuffs them in her pockets.
Goes to the bed table.

Grabs the kid’s cell phone.
Heads for the door.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I hate fucking up cops,
but sometimes a gal’s gotta do
what a gal’s gotta do --