Rockets Red Glare

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 2 of BABY HEISTER, wannabe bank robber Kelsey Hazard and her grandfather Doc sit down to dinner at their farmhouse. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Kelsey, her parents Griff and Chelle set off a series of explosions in downtown LA as a smokescreen to distract the cops from their real goal ... to rob a bank ...


INT. DOC'S FARMHOUSE - KITCHEN - DUSK
Right out of Norman Rockwell.
Enough knickknacks and quaint furnishings
choke Martha Stewart.

Doc and Kelsey sit at the table
waiting for dinner to be served.

DOC
You do any more thinking
about going back to school?

KELSEY
Why the fuck would I do that?

DOC
Not having a diploma kinda limits
the kinda jobs you can get.

KELSEY
Not if I’m gonna be a heister.

DOC
A heister? Where on earth did you --

Doc’s wife JO (60) approaches the table
with a big tray of food.

Once a great beauty, now a bit faded,
but still tough, with the twinkling eyes
of a con artist. Which she was.

JO
Dinner’s served.

She sets it down. Sits.
Doc and Kelsey help themselves.

DOC
Thanks, honey. This looks great.

JO
So how was your day, Kelsey?

KELSEY
Okay, I guess.

DOC
Kelsey’s thinking about
taking up a life of crime.

JO
Is that so.

KELSEY
If it’s good enough for Griff and
Chelle --

DOC
Now where did you get that idea?
Your parents are in sales.

KELSEY
(snorts)
Yeah, GUN sales.

EXT. DOWNTOWN CITY STREET - DUSK
The armored car stops at a red light.

EXT. AERIAL VIEW OF LOS ANGELES - DUSK
All the lights in the city SHUT OFF.

INT. ARMORED CAR - DUSK
Zvi looks up from his laptop.
Smiles eagerly.

ZVI
Let there be DARK.

IN THE FRONT
Griff looks out the window.
Sees the lights are out.

GRIFF
(into his headset)
Copy that, Eagle.
(to Gino)
Better get a move on.
Traffic’s about to clusterfuck.

Gino nods. STEPS on it.
They LURCH into the intersection.

IN THE BACK
Chelle nods at Zvi.

CHELLE
Commence phases two, three and four.

ZVI
Rockets red glare, coming right up.

His fingers start FLYING across the keyboard.

EXT. UNION STATION - DUSK
A giant EXPLOSION on the front lawn.
A GIANT CLOUD OF BLACK SMOKE
envelopes the building.
Pedestrians RUN, screaming.

INT. UNION STATION - CONTINUOUS
People inside SCREAM. DUCK for cover.

INT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS - DUSK
Complete bedlam. Officers answer phones.
Work computers.

Trying to get control
of the situation.

FRONT DESK OFFICER
(on the phone)
I don’t KNOW if it’s connected.
Just send units to Union Station, NOW.

IN THE ARMORED CAR
Zvi looks at Chelle. Gives a thumbs up.

ZVI
Go Metro GONE.

EXT. CITY HALL - DUSK
An enormous EXPLOSION rocks
the front of the building.

A GIANT CLOUD OF BLACK SMOKE
starts enveloping the area.

ZVI (O.C.)
Just fought City Hall --

EXT. STAPLES CENTER - DUSK
A HUGE EXPLOSION rocks the front
of the building with a
GIANT CLOUD OF BLACK SMOKE.
Pedestrians RUN and SCREAM.

ZVI (O.C.)
Swish.

IN THE ARMORED CAR
Zvi looks at Chelle. Smiles.

ZVI
We have a trifecta.

EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES - CITY STREET - NIGHT
There’s a RIOT going on. Complete mayhem.
LOOTERS smash windows.

RUN down the street with stolen goods.
A GANG-BANGER throws a MOLOTOV COCKTAIL
at a police car. It EXPLODES.

EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT
The armored car turns a corner.

IN THE ARMORED CAR
Griff speaks into his headset.

GRIFF
Eagle, this is Houston.
Prepare for impact. Over.

IN THE REAR
Chelle nods. Speaks into her headset.

CHELLE
Copy that. Over.
(to the rest)
Buckle up. It’s gonna be a bumpy heist.

Everyone SNAPS on shoulder harnesses
that crisscross their torsos.

Pull their caps down over their faces
until they become ski masks.
One by one, they give a thumbs up.

EXT. BANK - NIGHT
The First National Bank of California.
A beautiful building.

Facade is two stories of
shiny glass and mirrors.

EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT
The armored car pulls up in front of the bank,
looks like it’s going to park,
but instead makes a turn, BUMPS over the curb --
ACCELERATES -- and starts HEADING RIGHT TOWARD IT.

IN THE FRONT
Gino and Griff slip on MOTORCYCLE HELMETS.

IN THE BACK
Everyone BRACES for the impact.

EXT. BANK - NIGHT
The armored car reaches the facade, and --
IN SLOW MOTION -- CRASHES THROUGH with a BANG.
Glass and debris go FLYING.

INT. BANK - NIGHT
BANK CUSTOMERS RUN for cover. SCREAM.
The armored car stops.

The doors FLY OPEN.
Everyone PILES OUT.
Gripping automatic weapons.

Griff blasts a SPRAY OF BULLETS
at the ceiling.

GRIFF
This is a ROBBERY.
Do WHAT WE SAY -- and NOBODY GETS HURT.
(looks around)
Got it?

Everyone nods, terrified.
Chelle spins around in a slow circle,
aiming her Uzi at them.

CHELLE
Everyone down on the ground, NOW.

ZVI
Sits down at a loan officer’s desk.
Flips open his laptop.

The emergency generator kicks in.
The lights TURN ON --

ZVI
That didn’t take TOO long.
(fingers work the keyboard)
Sorry, Charlie. Only the real tuna
gets to be star-fucked.

And the power SHUTS DOWN.

ATLAS
Approaches the teller windows,
pointing his Uzi with one hand.

Duffle bag in the other.
Evil smile behind the mask.

He THROWS the bag at a
SCARED SHITLESS FEMALE TELLER.

ATLAS
No tricks, no dye-packs,
or you’ll DIE. GOT IT?
(of her terrified nod)
In the bag there’s more bags.
Give ‘em to the other tellers --
and start EMPTYING THE DRAWERS.

GRIFF
Waves his Uzi across everyone on the floor.

GRIFF
Which one of you is the manager?

A SHORT GUY WEARING A SUIT AND GLASSES
raises his hand.

SHORT GUY IN SUIT AND GLASSES
I am.

GRIFF
Let’s go take a trip to the vault --