Monday, December 1, 2014
This Joint's For You
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 26 of ZOMBIE & JULIET, Rommy, Brick, Gaga, Monster and Reno emerge from the subway into Time Square, now a ruined war zone, and immediately get attacked by a horde of screaming zombies ...
EXT. TIMES SQUARE - SUBWAY ENTRANCE - NIGHT
A disaster area.
Vehicles lie in ruins in flames.
A movie theater is on fire.
Zombies CHASE people in the street, SCREAMING.
Explosions BOOM. Scattered GUNFIRE.
Brick, Jag and Rommy carefully come up the stairs
to the mouth of the subway entrance.
Press themselves against the wall.
Carefully look around the corner.
It’s like Resident Evil.
But without the hot chick.
Check out the SWAT truck across the street.
That would work --
Think the keys are in it?
Don’t need no stinkin’ keys.
I’ll run across the street,
get the truck, and come pick you guys up.
Better you than me --
I’m gonna cover myself with that trash can --
Okay. I’ll go tell the others.
He turns, walks down the steps to --
THE SUBWAY EXIT STAIRS
Where Gaga, Reno, Hammer and Monster are waiting.
There’s a SWAT truck across the street.
Brick’s gonna go get it and then pick us up.
Thank god. My leg hurts like a motherfucker.
(points at the spear)
At least YOU’RE not skewered like a shish-ka-bob.
Put a sock in it.
We’ve gotta keep a cool head
if we’re gonna get outta this alive.
C’mon, let’s go --
Well, look who’s all mature
and shit all of a sudden.
OUT ON THE STREET
Brick turns over a trash can.
Gets under it.
Starts moving across the street.
Zombies FLY BY, but don’t smell him.
IN THE TUNNEL
The gang starts walking
up the steps to the street.
Suddenly, SCREAMING from down below.
They all turn and look.
ZOMBIES. Running up the stairs.
Rommy GRABS Gaga’s hand.
Rommy, Gaga and Hammer RACE up the stairs,
Monster and Reno right behind.
A rabid zombie GRABS Reno by the spear,
YANKS her down and starts EATING HER.
Monster pulls out his squirt gun to shoot,
but gets GRABBED by zombies who
BITE INTO HIM and start EATING.
UP ON THE SURFACE
Brick makes it to the truck.
He THROWS off the trash can and JUMPS IN.
Starts working on the wires
on the steering column.
AT THE SUBWAY ENTRANCE
Rommy, Gaga and Hammer RUN
out of the subway and onto the street.
Zombies from all directions smell,
then see them, start RUNNING toward them.
Hammer adjusts his flamethrower. Turns it ON.
A GIANT SPRAY OF FIRE SHOOTS OUT.
Flame ON --
He slowly spins in a circle,
SPRAYING the zombies with FLAMES.
As he HITS each one, they EXPLODE
into SCREAMING FIREBALLS OF BLACK SMOKE.
IN THE SWAT TRUCK
Brick watches them destruct.
Gets back to work. The wires SPARK.
The engine ROARS. He starts driving toward them.
OUT ON THE STREET
Hammer keeps ROASTING the zombies
as they SNAP, CRACKLE POP.
They all cover their mouths.
Roars up alongside them.
Brick leans out the window.
Get in, GET IN --
Everyone JUMPS IN.
SLAMS the doors shut.
Holy fucking SHIT was that close.
I think just peed my Hello Kitties.
What about --
Rommy shakes his head sadly.
Zombies start SLAPPING
against the sides of the vehicle,
the windows. SCREAMING to get in.
What are you WAITING FOR?
GO, GO, GO --
Brick HITS the gas,
and the truck ROARS AWAY.
EXT. TIMES SQUARE - FORTY SECOND STREET - NIGHT
The truck FLIES through the pack of infected.
CRUSHING them. Zombies SPRAY into the air.
But a few still hang onto the sides,
climb onto the roof.
INT. SWAT TRUCK - CONTINUOUS
Brick sees an intersection up ahead.
Gets ready to turn --
and SPINS the steering wheel, HARD.
EXT. SWAT TRUCK - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
The truck CAREENS around the corner,
SHAKING OFF the zombies clinging to the sides.
But there’s still one on top.
He starts SCREAMING and POUNDING on the roof.
IN THE TRUCK
They all look up. Freaked.
Gaga pulls out a book of matches.
Lights one. Touches it to the pack.
It EXPLODES in flames.
She leans out the window.
TOSSES it up.
ON THE TRUCK
The matches hit the zombie.
It EXPLODES IN FLAMES.
IN THE TRUCK
Pulls a joint out from behind her ear.
Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
Lights up. Takes a big hit.
Holds it in. EXHALES.
Where the fuck did you get THAT?
Times Square? Hello?
Gimme some of that.
(hands it to him)
No woman, no cry.
You think you should be smoking that NOW?
Excuse ME. After that shit back there,
I need to take the edge off.
And besides, in my condition it’s medicinal.
Brick stares at him, taking a big toke.
Fuck it. Gimme a hit of that --