Home On The Range

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 4 of FILLMORE, Clarence gets busy with hooker Tilly Sackler, who invites him to stay with her. A little later, while going for a joyride with a friend, the cops try and pull him over, with disastrous results ...


INT. TILLY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Clarence and Tilly sit on the couch,
sipping their lemonade.

CLARENCE
This sure is good lemonade, Miss Sackler.

TILLY
Please. Call me Tilly.
(puts her hand on his knee)
You sure are growing up to be
a handsome young man, Clarence.

CLARENCE
(looks at her hand)
Thank you -- Tilly.

TILLY
I was wondering if you would --
help me with something.

CLARENCE
What’s that?

TILLY
Well, I was reading in the newspaper
that you should turn over the mattress
on your bed every year or so --

INT. TILLY’S BEDROOM - DAY
Frilly. Girlie. VERY nice.
A giant, king-sized bed.

Tilly and Clarence are under the covers,
FUCKING their brains out.

TILLY
FUCK ME, Clarence -- FUCK me.

CLARENCE
Hi, ho SILVER --

TILLY
Ride ‘em fucking COWBOY.

And she SCREAMS with ecstasy.

INT. TILLY’S BEDROOM - DAY - LATER
Clarence and Tilly lie in bed,
smoking cigarettes.

Clarence puts his out.
Starts to get out of bed.
Feeling awkward.

CLARENCE
That was really nice, Tilly --
but I should get back to work.

TILLY
Stay here with me awhile.
I’ll call the pharmacy.
Tell them you’re helping me
with some chores.

CLARENCE
I don’t know, Miss -- Tilly.

TILLY
You wouldn’t want me to call your boss
and tell him you RAPED me, would you?

CLARENCE
No, Ma’am. PLEASE don’t do that.

TILLY
Good. Then it’s settled.
You’re gonna stay here awhile.

CLARENCE
You mean -- stay in the house with you?

TILLY
Sure, why not? I’m all alone --
(off his look)
You could have your own room --
(off his look)
I’d even let you drive my car.

CLARENCE
Are you SERIOUS?

TILLY
Serious as a heart attack.

Clarence GRABS her.
Starts to get on top of her.

TILLY
(giggles)
Why, Clarence -- what are you DOING?

CLARENCE
Sayin’ thank you --

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT
A big, beautiful, brand-new BUICK SEDAN drives by.

INT. BUICK SEDAN - NIGHT
Clarence sits behind the wheel, driving.
His friend JOE (15) sits next to him
in the passenger seat.
He feels the leather.

JOE
And she lets you DRIVE it?

CLARENCE
I told you.
Got the run of the house. And HER.
First time I get pussy,
and it’s FULL-TIME, all the time.

JOE
You crazy.
What you doin’ messin’ around
with a white woman?

CLARENCE
That’s my choice.
I makes my own.
Nobody makes it for me.

JOE
So where is she now? She just lets you
drive around at night without her?

CLARENCE
She’s at the picture show
with her girlfriends.
(off his look)
I didn’t wanna see no Bette Davis movie.
Thought we could drive around and have some fun.

JOE
(nods)
Damn.
(feels the seat again.)
This is real leather --

A police siren WHOOP-WHOOPS behind them.

CLARENCE
(looks in the rear view)
Shit, it’s the cops.

JOE
But we didn’t do nothing.
We’re not speeding.

A POLICE CRUISER
Is right behind them.
Cherry lights FLASHING.
Siren WAILING.

CLARENCE
Steps on the gas.
The car TEARS ASS on the gravel road.

JOE
What are you DOING?
We ain’t done nothing WRONG.
It’s your FRIEND’S car --

CLARENCE
They’re not gonna BELIEVE me.
(beat)
Hold on --

He turns the headlights OFF.

AERIAL POV
The big sedan drives in the dark,
the cop car in hot pursuit.
It makes a turn, then ACCELERATES.

IN THE CAR
Clarence drives, turning the wheel
as he negotiates the turns.
Joe turns around,
looks out the rear window.

JOE
They’re still behind us --

THE CAR
Goes around the turn, but it’s going TOO FAST,
and it SWERVES, SKIDS, wheels SQUEALING and --

CLARENCE (O.C.)
SHIT --

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT
The car PLOWS into the foliage at the
side of the road and CRASHES into a tree.
BANG. It BURSTS into flames.

THE POLICE CAR
Pulls up to the side of the road
above them on the shoulder.

IN THE CAR
A ROOKIE COP (20’s) sits behind the wheel.
Looks at his PARTNER (50’s) sitting beside him,
a grizzled vet.

ROOKIE COP
Should I call the fire department?

GRIZZLED VET
Nah.
(smiles)
Let’s go check out the barbecue --