Holy Whips And Chains, Batman

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 13 of BLUE HOTEL, kinky Russian mobsters Vlad and Anya arrive at the grand opening of a new dungeon with plans to rob the joint. Meanwhile, drug dealer Beggar Leck goes to a swinging, decadent rooftop Venice Beach party to meet with entertainment lawyer Lief Scott and sell him some coke ...


EXT. LONG BEACH DOCKS - WAREHOUSE - NIGHT
A shitty, old crumbling building
at the far end of the docks.

A cluster of expensive CARS
and LIMOS are parked in front.

A BLACK HUMMER pulls into a space.
Stops.

INT. HUMMER - CONTINUOUS
We see Vlad behind the wheel,
rakish in black leather and studs.

In the passenger seat is Anya,
resplendent in vinyl, rubber and
chrome against milky white flesh.

VLAD
Welcome to hell,
my little turtle-dove.

ANYA
Is new dungeon.
My heart is all a-flutter.

He pulls out a pair of black masks.
Hands her one.

They put them on.
Look at each other. Smile.

ANYA
Holy whips and chains, Batman.
(laughs)
I’m wet already.

Vlad pulls out a bottle of pills.
Flips it open with a thumbnail.

Chugs a fistful.
CRUNCHES them in his mouth.

Reaches under the seat.
Pulls out a sawed-off shotgun.

Anya opens the glove box.
Takes out a gleaming, chrome 44 Magnum.
They both CLICK the safeties.

VLAD
Ready to fuck perverts?

ANYA
Can we perhaps --
sample merchandise first?

VLAD
But of course.
Anything for my dark angel.

He takes her gloved hand.
Kisses it.

VLAD
You are a vision of unholy beauty.
A luscious flower in urban decay.

ANYA
Oh, Vlad.
Moonlight becomes you.
VLAD
I would die without you.
(raise his gun)
Let’s go rob kinky
motherfuckers blind.

Anya puts her hand on his gun barrel.
Strokes it.

ANYA
How you say -- Vlad the Impaler?

EXT. BEACHFRONT CONDO - NIGHT
The wind off the ocean WHIPS
the palm trees in front of --

A gleaming, silver three-story
single residence right on the sand.
Lights BLAZING.

We can see through the windows
that a party is raging.
Loud MUSIC blares.

EXT. BEACHFRONT CONDO - ROOF DECK - CONTINUOUS
Eerily lit by tiki torches.
Nasty, throbbing techno.

A giant four-poster bed
in the middle of the patio,
facing the ocean.

A gaggle of HARD-CORE PARTIERS,
a rough-looking crowd,
circle around it smoking, drinking.
And watching --

A COUPLE
On the bed.
Fucking their brains out.

The GUY (30’S) is LIEF SCOTT,
flabby ‘attorney to the stars,’
giving it really hard to
an EMACIATED STARLET (17),
who is SHRIEKING with abandon.

A giant MOUND OF COKE
Sits on a glass table nearby.

A SLUTTY CHICK
Scoops up a chunk on a
long, purple fingernail.
INHALES it.

SLUTTY CHICK
(rubs her nose)
Whoah, got a fucking ROCK.

BEGGAR
Appears in the doorway
to the roof with a beer.

He scans the crowd.
Shakes his head in disbelief.

BEGGAR
I’ve died and gone to
Kid Rock heaven.

He walks over to a pale,
meth-skinny GLAM ROCKER
checking his eye-makeup.
Taps him on the shoulder.

BEGGAR
Hey, Fall Out Boy --
you seen Lief?

Meth-Skinny turns and looks.
Grins a sickly smile. Points.

METH-SKINNY
Right there, on the Sit N’ Sleep.
(chuckles)
I mean, the fuck and suck.

Beggar looks at --

THE COUPLE
Rapidly approaching lift-off.

AN EMACIATED BIMBO
(20s), all legs, hair
and Dolce and Gabana,
sidles up to Beggar.

Points her cigar at him.
Nods at the bed, eyes gleaming,
swirling on Ecstacy.

EMACIATED BIMBO
Hallo, Mickey Roarke.
Vant to go next?

BEGGAR
(sips his beer)
No thanks, baby.
(looks her up and down)
Already took out the Eurotrash tonight --