Monday, December 26, 2011

Like White On Icicles



Hey there, crime kids. Happy Boxing Day. I don't know about you, but I'm really glad the holidays are almost over. Enough with the emotional baggage -- it's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of LITTLE GIRL BLUE, it's Christmas Eve, and private eye Carrie Love arrives at her parent's house with her client Blue Wonder and her ex, homicide dick Bernie Keko, just as the freak snowstorm gets bad ... but little do they know that the bad guys Carrie rescued Blue from are about to coming knocking on the door ...


EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT
Tolly’s SUV travels slowly in the snow.
It’s blinding now.

INT. TOLLY’S SUV - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
The windshield wipers are pumping furiously
as the snow gets heavier.
Tolly strains to see as he’s driving.

TOLLY
I love it. It’s like we’re back in Jersey.

PORKPIE
Oh, yeah? I’m fucking freezing.

TOLLY
So turn up the fucking heat.

A siren WHOOP-WHOOPS behind them.

TOLLY
(looks in the rearview mirror)
Shit, it’s a cop.

He pulls the car over. Stops. Shifts into ‘park.’
The COP appears in the window. Tolly rolls it down.

TOLLY
Can I help you, officer?

ANGRY COP
License, registration, and proof of insurance.
And keep your hands where I can see ‘em.

TOLLY
Sure thing, sure thing.
(leans over to get them)
How about this weather, huh?
(hands them over)
What did I do wrong, officer?

ANGRY COP
(looking at documents)
You left the scene of an accident.
Please step out of the vehicle.

Porkpie pulls out a SIG SAUER and FIRES. BANG. BANG. BANG.
The officer FLIES backwards into a snow bank, THWUMP.

TOLLY
Jesus FUCKING CHRIST.
What the FUCK did you do THAT for?

PORKPIE
I ain’t goin’ to jail on CHRISTMAS.

TOLLY
Goddammit. Now we gotta get rid of the BODY,
and the fuckin’ BIKE. Everybody OUTTA THE CAR.

ALDO
Ah, shit -- it’s snowing.

MICK
Yeah, boss, can’t we just --

TOLLY
I said OUTTA THE FUCKING CAR, NOW.
It’s a winter wonderland. Get used to it.

INT. MARGO’S MANSION - FOYER - AT THAT MOMENT
Carrie, Bernie and Blue stand in the doorway.

SETH
Carrie. Great to see you.

They hug.

CARRIE
Hey there, little brother.
(gestures)
You remember Bernie --

BERNIE
Hey. You sure got tall.

SETH
Nice to see you, too. You look -- the same.

BERNIE
(to Carrie)
He lies as good as you do.

CARRIE
(to Seth)
And is this is Blue. Blue Wonder.

Seth and Blue lock eyes. Instant chemistry.

SETH
H-hi. Nice to -- meet you.

BLUE
Hey.
(staring)
You, too.

Pause.

CARRIE
Earth to Seth, Earth to Seth --

SETH
(staring)
Let’s -- go see Mom.

CARRIE
Cue the warm and fuzzy.

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - SUV - AT THAT MOMENT
Tolly watches the boys drag the cop’s body in the woods.
Watches for oncoming traffic. Talks on his cell phone.

TOLLY
Hey, pop. We’re almost there.
(listens)
Because the GPS thing stopped moving.
They’re in one of these big joints on Sunset.
We’re right down the block.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. GERO’S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Gero lies in bed watching TV,
eating a bowl of ice cream.

GERO
They’ve arrived at their destination?

TOLLY
No problem. Piece of cake.
I’m on it like white on icicles.

He watches the boys drag the motorcycle into the foliage.

GERO
Well, hurry it up.

TOLLY
No worries. I’ll call you when got her.

GERO
Okay. And just bring the girl.
(whispers)
Whack the detective. She knows too much.

TOLLY
Don’t worry. I’ll deck her fucking halls.

INT. MARGO’S MANSION - STUDY - AT THAT MOMENT
The gang’s all here. Margo lies in her hospital bed
near the fireplace.

Seth and Blue sit on a love seat, making goo-goo eyes.
Carrie, Blue and Bernie sit on the couch.

MARGO
Well, if this isn’t the family reunion from hell.

CARRIE
Nice to see you, too Mom.
I don’t mean to be rude,
but we can only stay for a minute --
it’s kind on an emergency --

MARGO
(nods at Bernie)
Why is HE here?
I thought you gave him the heave-ho.

CARRIE
We’re still friends. He’s -- helping me.

BERNIE
Nice to see you again, Mrs. Love.

MARGO
Call me Margo.
I haven’t been a Mrs. Love in a long time.
(studies him)
Looks like you’ve put on some weight.
(looks at Blue)
Who’s the cupcake?

CARRIE
This is my client, Blue Wonder.

MARGO
'Blue Wonder?' You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Sounds like a stripper.
(studies her)
But she looks -- too innocent.

BLUE
Thanks. I try.

Seth smiles at Blue. She smiles back.

CARRIE
(to Bernie)
You bring your -- cutting thing?

BERNIE
(pulls them out of his pocket)
Tin snips.

MARGO
What the hell are THOSE for?

Blue puts her foot on the coffee table.
Flashes a long, lean leg.
Seth almost has a heart attack.

BLUE
Before Carrie rescued me --
the bad guys put this cuff on me.
Bernie’s gonna cut it off.

MARGO
Well, hurry it up, then.
Then we’ll have some egg nog.

BERNIE
Yes, Ma’am.

CARRIE
(to Margo)
We can’t stay, Mom.

Bernie leans over Blue’s ankle.
Starts cutting off the band around the cuff.
Carefully. Slowly.

BLUE
It -- tickles.

The doorbell RINGS.

MARGO
Who the hell could that be?

SETH
I’ll get it.

He starts for the door. Carrie gets up.

CARRIE
Let me come with you.
(off his look)
Just in case.

1 comment:

  1. Alright, Seth... back down, mister... I saw Blue first! :p Haha!

    Let's see.... dysfunctional family... wannabe stripper... ex-hubby, who just happens to be a cop... handful of bad guys... that everybody?

    Well then... let's PARTY!! LOL!!

    xoxoxo <3 <3 <3

    Ronnie

    ReplyDelete