Friday, September 23, 2011
Sins Of The Flesh
Hey there, crime kids. Happy Friday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 30 of WILSHIRE BOULEVARD, 'torture porn' director Phillie Pfugg and his bodybuilder squeeze Chinette have a disastrous romantic rendevous. Meanwhile, private eye Carrie Love calls widowed siren Gay Flender and gives her a piece of her mind ...
EXT. ADULT MOTEL - DAY
A sleazy, greasy stuccoed motor court.
Sign reads THE MATADOR. ADULT MOTEL.
Phillie’s Hummer parked by the ice machine.
A METH COUPLE walk into the grimy office.
INT. ADULT MOTEL ROOM - AT THAT MOMENT
On a tiny boom box, the glam-trash of
My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult’s
DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS over --
Phillie, head-to-toe in black vinyl.
Zorro mask. A long, red satin cape.
He pours a glass of pink champagne for --
Chinette, decked out in some
outre white silk bodybuilding outfit.
Lacy bridal veil.
Teetering on six-inch platforms.
As close to 'girlish' as this bruiser can get.
She raises her glass to his. They CLINK.
(takes a sip)
This is like our honeymoon.
Nothing is too good for my little flower.
He THROWS his glass into the fake fireplace -- CRASH.
Are you ready to be ravaged by The Dark Lord?
To be taken to new heights of sexual pleasure?
Surrender yourself to unspeakable sins of the flesh?
Phillie -- I mean -- Dark Lord --
What are you going to -- do to me?
He goes to the ‘magic fingers.’
Puts in some change.
The bed starts VIBRATING.
He goes to her. Takes her hand.
Madame, come with me
to the garden of unearthly delights.
Phillie lays her down.
Chinette smiles, coquettish.
Promise me you’ll be -- rough?
Phillie removes his boxers.
Raises the cape, like wings.
It looks kind of -- lumpy.
Even with the condom on?
(reaches up, gently touches it)
Does that feel okay?
He lowers the cape --
Lays down on top of her --
And starts thrusting.
Who’s your -- Mommy now?
He stops. Rolls off her.
Dejected. Tears in his eyes.
Chinette takes him in her arms.
Sooths, comforts him.
There, there -- it’ll be okay.
No, it WON’T.
That fucking doctor FUCKED IT UP.
Well, then go back and make him fix it.
But that takes money --
and I need what we have to fix the studio,
so I can finish cutting Head Shot.
Then you’ll just have find the money.
PUSH IN ON Phillie’s face.
A light bulb pops.
Wait a minute. I just got an idea --
EXT. VENICE BEACH - SHORELINE - DUSK
Carrie sits on the rocks watching the waves.
The surfers doing their thing.
She drinks from a new bottle.
Winces. Pulls out her cell phone.
Dials. Listens --
Yeah, it’s me.
Your pigeon. Your frame.
Tell me why you did it.
I want some answers, NOW.
SPLIT SCREEN WITH:
INT. YAVO/FLENDER FILMS - OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Gay paces the floor.
Smoking a cigarette. A Cheshire cat.
Answers? To what?
I hired YOU to get ME some answers --
Don’t play dumb with me,
you vacant, airbrushed strumpet.
I’ve been framed for your husband’s murder,
and I’ve got a funny feeling
you had something to do with it.
The door opens. Modi slides in.
Sees Gay’s on the phone.
Gay raises a finger, ‘shushes’ him.
Softly places the receiver in its cradle.
You mean to tell me you think
I hired you to find my husband’s killer,
and then I FRAMED you?
That doesn’t make sense.
Yeah. Kinda like one of your
late husband’s fucking piece-of-shit movies.
A bad rip-off of THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE.
Oh, wait -- that’s quality source material.
This reeks of Jackie Collins.
Maybe Danielle Steele.
A loud BURP.
Modi shoots Gay a look.
Gay shakes her head.
Kinda early in the morning
for cocktails, detective.
And I don’t like your attitude.
Consider yourself fired.
Go find yourself a gutter
to roll around in.
Not so fast, bitch.
We’re going to ‘take a meeting.’
I’m sorry, but my schedule’s pretty full.
Booked solid the rest of the month.
Not at your office, dummy.
You think I’m gonna walk into a trap?
Somewhere neutral. I’ll let you know where.
And when. And watch your back.
One way or another,
I’m gonna getcha-getcha-getcha.
She hangs up. CLICK.
Drains the bottle.
Wipes her mouth.
FLINGS it into the sea.
Slowly, carefully stands up.
But first, let’s pay a
little visit to the hospital.
Visiting hours are almost over,
and I need to go pay my disrespects --