Friday, July 1, 2011
Take Me To My Double-Banger
Hey there, crime kids. Happy FRIDAY. So we're on the eve of the July 4th weekend. A time when we celebrate the birth of our country. What better way to kick off the celebration than taking another trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 7 of LEGS, dominatrix Felina Bella Donna attends to her 'clients,' but gets interrupted by demented German snuff filmmaker Klaus Speer, who arrives with a most unusual invite. Meanwhile private eye Carrie Love and her ex Megan Paul go 'undercover' at Club Fuck ...
INT. FELINA'S LOFT - DUNGEON - DAY
A state-of-the-art-directed dungeon.
Felina snaps on a rubber glove.
Marches over to KENDRICK (30),
preppy-blonde, tied to the wall, whimpering.
Humiliated, wearing a maid’s uniform.
Stop crying, you disgusting
little faggot piece of shit.
I'd hate to see you miss that
big board meeting this afternoon.
You don't want the boys at the
Fist National Bank to know
what you do on your lunch hour, do you?
No, Mistress -- I mean, yes, Mistress.
She CRACKS him in the nuts
with her riding crop.
Thank you, mistress.
You should be thrilled.
I've never checked your prostate.
Felina lubricates the glove.
The doorbell rings.
Hold that thought.
I'll be right back.
She marches off, arm aloft
like a doctor going to the OR.
INT. PLAYROOM - DAY
A little girl's playroom.
Lots of lace, ruffles, toys.
Three adult MEN (40’s) sit on the floor
dressed as Catholic school girls,
busily coloring with crayons.
Felina stomps into the room.
Have my little girls colored
some pretty pictures for their mistress?
The "girls" run up to her excitedly,
show their drawings.
MALE LITTLE GIRL 1
Look, Mistress -- I did a bunny!
MALE LITTLE GIRL 2
Look at mine, I did a choo-choo train!
MALE LITTLE GIRL 3
Me, me -- look! I did Barney!
Very nice. Very nice.
And you stayed within the lines.
Another chime at the door.
Straighten up your room now.
After I finish punishing your daddy,
we'll have milk and cookies.
INT. FOYER - FRONT DOOR - CONTINUOUS
Felina peers through the peep hole.
A wicked grin.
INT. DOORWAY - CONTINUOUS
It's Klaus. He bows, very elegant.
Felina. You look delicious as usual.
He takes her gloved hand and kisses it.
Oh, Klaus. You embarrass me.
Are you ready for your big screen debut?
Darling. Take me to my double-banger.
EXT. CLUB FUCK - NIGHT
A shitty concrete bunker.
The marquee reads "CluB FUcK."
Nasty industrial music bleeds outside from within.
Carrie and Megan stand in line with a motley,
kinky mob of male, female --
and everything in between -- CLUB KIDS.
They barely wear latex dresses,
tons of make-up. They blend.
You're right, I'm nice and warm.
I thought I was gonna freeze my tits off.
That's the nice thing about latex.
Just wait until you’re hot and damp.
Megan looks around, then at the doorway.
Holy shit, that’s Marilyn Manson.
Jesus, that's a real catheter.
sees Carrie. Big smile.
gives a little “pageant wave.”
Marilyn -- hey.
(winks, holds up glass vial)
See you in the playroom.
He goes inside. Megan’s jaw drops.
Ziva sits behind the velvet rope,
guarding the portal.
It's ten dollars.
(slips her some cash)
For both of us.
Hey, Legs, how ya doin?
Where's the goddess?
Hey, Ziva -- she, uh -- she --
(grabs arm, pulls her)
C'mon, pussycat. We got work to do.