Thursday, July 14, 2011

From Here To Depravity

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of LEGS, demented German snuff filmmaker Klaus Speer and his crew shoot their latest cinema verite of death at dawn at Malibu beach ...

A techno crime theme percolates over
shaky, hand-held footage of an
old bungalow behind the Venice boardwalk.

Jorel carries a steadicam on his shoulder.
Samms holds a strobe.

Klaus leads the way.
He slips on a pig snout half-mask,
which covers his eyes and nose.

(into the mike)
Tonight on our show,
a lovely officer of the law
will die a bizarre death
at the hand of a twisted filmmaker.
(dramatic pause)
What makes this murder even
more chilling, more unspeakable,
is that you’re going to see it
through the eyes of the killer.

They approach the door.
Klaus starts picking the lock.

Megan's crashed out.
A huge ROTTWEILER snores at her feet.

The bedroom door slowly opens.
Kinky crew shuffles in.


The canine lets out a rumble.
Some poodle dream.

Nice doggie --

The dog stirs. Wakes. Growls ominously.
The strobe flashes. Camera whirs.

Klaus pulls out a gun.
SHOOTS the dog -- THWAP. It YELPS.

Megan bolts upright.
Blinded by the lights.

Who's there?! What the fuck are you --

Klaus CHARGES the bed. JUMPS on her.
CRAMS a rag in her mouth.

She STRUGGLES violently.
Shakes. Then goes limp.


(big smile for the camera)
Coming up next, our fallen angel
takes flight to the beach --
where she has her last stand in the sand.

A secluded cove somewhere south of Malibu.
Sun is rising.

Dappled pink and grey streaks smear the sky.
Waves CRASH against the rocks in a spray of foam.

Megan is buried in the sand
up to her neck, gagged, eyes terrified.

A breaker POUNDS behind her,
then washes over her head.

She WHIPS her head back and forth.
Seaweed on her eyes.

Klaus shoots with the steadicam.
Samms holds a boom.

Jorel reflects the available light
with a white board.

It's getting light out.
We gotta get outta here
before the fucking joggers come by.

Before the climax?
What are you, a story analyst?

Another wave CRASHES on top of her.
Then rolls away.

Her neck SNAPS -- crack.
Goes limp. Eyes forever frozen.

Fade to black.

Klaus zooms in, circles around her.
Samms rushes over to Megan's lifeless head.
Takes out the gag.

What the fuck are you doing?
Get out of the shot!

I'm gonna resolve the character arc!

He pulls down his pants --
as another wave crashes down.

delighted, grins lewdly.

Maybe we call this one --
"From Here to Depravity."


  1. Uh-oh! Big mistake, Klaus... big fuckin' mistake! Now, Carrie is gonna kill you twice... then she's gonna feed your sorry ass to rabid dogs... get out the jam, dude... you are TOAST! FUCKING TOAST!! Grrrrrrrrr....

    Sorry... got a little carried away... hehe!

    Did I mention that I am a lot of fun at the movies... or, even just watching TV? "Shhh... Ronnie! Quiet! Shhh!"

    OMG!!! What a horrific way to die... poor Megan... oh my god!! Nobody deserves that!

    Okay, Carrie... time enough for tears later... let's get busy, doll... we got miles to go... and sick fucks to kill!!

    Great chapter, hun! I mean, sad and horrific... what happened to Megan, but... great writing!




  2. Get ready, because Carrie -- and Bernie -- are about to pay a little visit to Klaus' joint ...

    Where things are gonna get VERY interesting ...

    (I would imagine you'd be fun for some people to watch a movie with, but I think you'd drive me crazy. I need SILENCE. Tee hee ... )


  3. Oh, I would drive you crazy! You'd have to find something to stuff in my mouth! A box of DOTS will keep me quiet for a while... Lol!!

  4. Stop it. You're driving me CRAZY.