Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Time To Get Scarface On Your Ass
Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 41 of NOWHERE GIRLS, Homeland Security agent Cherry Nation joins her sister, fellow agent April Street in a mad dash through the Kodak Theater in Hollywood to bring down evil criminal mastermind Honey Almond ...
INT. TUNNEL - STAIRWELL - NIGHT
April RACES UP the stairs, two at a time.
Pulls out her gun.
Got you now, Honey ALMOND --
INT. KODAK THEATER - BACKSTAGE - NIGHT
Empty. Dark. Silent. A door OPENS at the side.
Honey and Monsterburg walk out to the edge of the stage.
Look out into the empty seats.
(holds an imaginary Oscar)
I’d like to thank God, my mom, my agent --
Stop fucking around
and let’s get the fuck outta here.
April appears in the doorway.
Sees them. Aims her Uzi --
Honey and Monsterburg turn and look.
Look what the cat dragged in --
She GRABS Monsterburg’s hand,
and they LEAP off the stage into the orchestra pit.
April RACES to the edge of the stage.
Looks down. Nothing. They’ve disappeared.
Think you can outsmart me, HUH?
Well, FUCK you. This is your LAST CHANCE
to surrender. SHOW YOURSELF, NOW.
Okay, have it your way.
Time to get Scarface on your ass.
INT. INFIRMARY OFFICE - AT THAT MOMENT
Cherry sits on the bed.
Aura and Amber hug her tight.
Thanks for saving us, Mommy.
And thanks for letting me kick butt, too.
I’m just glad you’re okay.
They didn’t hurt you, did they?
Can we get outta here now?
Yeah, sure. C’mon --
She stands. Takes their hands.
They walk toward the exit --
Just as a pair of ARMED COMMANDOS
appear in the doorway.
TALL ARMED COMMANDO
(over his shoulder)
We found one of them. In here --
Listen to me, I’ll come quietly,
but PLEASE don’t hurt my children.
The commandos step back.
In walks Sunday and Max.
There she is. Cherry Nation.
A living legend.
West coast bureau chief
and special agent Sunday Sparks,
at your service.
Wait a minute. I’m not under arrest?
(shakes his head)
You and your sister have been
cleared of all charges.
And in fact, we’re here to help you.
Quite the carnage out there,
but no Honey Almond --
Do you know where she is?
Being chased by my sister.
(looks at her watch)
I give her -- about five minutes to live.
Well, don’t you think you should
go help her, increase the odds?
Sure. Can you guys back me up?
We’ve been discussing that,
and the problem is we’re afraid
if we shoot up the Kodak Theater,
it’ll be bad PR for the agency.
We thought you two could
take her out in a surgical strike.
But what about my children?
We can watch them.
Sunday here is GREAT with kids --
(looks at her)
PUSH IN ON Sunday’s face.
Trying to hide her disgust.
Uh, yeah. Sure --
INT. KODAK THEATER - ORCHESTRA LEVEL - AT THAT MOMENT
April walks along the front row.
Sweeping her gun in an arc across the seats.
Eyes moving, looking --
You can run, but you can’t HIDE --
The walkie talkie SQUAWKS.
April, you there?
April GRABS it.
Holds it to her mouth.
Yeah. You get the kids?
Yeah. They’re safe. Where are you?
Believe it or not,
I’m in the Kodak Theater.
Gotcha. You get Honey?
She’s here, but she’s hiding.
Can you join me?
Is Glen Beck a crybaby?
Bullets RIP into April’s STOMACH.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
She FLIES backwards.
OOF. HITS the floor.
April? You okay?
What’s going on?
SHIT. Hang ON, I’m ON MY WAY --