Friday, February 18, 2011
Hey there, horror kids. TG-Fucking-F. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 10 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, detective Chet Ordesky and CDC agent Beck Driver inspect the undead rat at the city morgue and reach a startling conclusion. Meanwhile, science genius nerd Frankie Stein has his 'first date' with dead cheerleader Shayla Petrie ...
INT. MORGUE - DAY
Cold, sterile. Right out of Quincy.
Beck and Ordesky stand next to the
MEDICAL EXAMINER, a tall, bird-like chap.
Wisps of white hair fleck a bald head.
Piercing eyes like steel.
We don’t usually handle animals.
He goes to a steel drawer.
They follow him.
He slides it open to reveal --
a tangled mess of blood, bones and fur
in a glass case marked ‘biohazard.’
Jesus. What HAPPENED?
I shot it, but it kept going at me.
I finally got the little fucker
by smashing it over the head
with my nightstick.
I’ve never seen anything like it
in my entire career. It was dead --
but still moving around.
And you know that from examining
a tissue sample?
Indeed. It died twenty-four hours
before the incident.
Chet looks at Beck.
Now notices how hot she is.
What do you think?
I don’t know. Could be a some
kinda zombie virus thing, or --
Someone brought it back to life.
Brought it back --
I need to run some tests on it.
This used to be such a sleepy little town.
Now all this crazy shit’s going on.
Oh? What else is going on?
The head cheerleader got run over
in a hit and run and was abducted.
She was abducted AFTER she was killed?
Yeah. What? You look -- strange.
(hint of a smile)
If this means what I think it means --
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
WHAT? Tell me.
PUSH IN ON Beck. Eyes blazing.
We just might have a
modern-day Frankenstein on our hands --
INT. FRANKIE’S BASEMENT LAB - NIGHT
The sickly-sweet shag-carpet ‘soft rock’ sound of Bread’s
I WANT TO MAKE IT WITH YOU over --
Frankie and Shayla,
sitting at a small card table
finishing a candlelit dinner.
Frankie wears a sports coat.
Shayla, one of Frankie’s mother’s old dresses.
And tons of garish make-up, poorly applied.
She turns her head to look at something,
and the scarf that hides her
smashed-in skull slips off.
Frankie barely notices.
So I said to Josh,
‘I said nitrate, NOT titrate.’
He giggles, pleased with his joke.
Shayla cocks her head.
Pokes at her food with her fork.
I don’t -- understand.
(slaps his forehead)
Silly me. I’m sorry.
Let’s talk about something else --
(notices she hasn’t eaten anything)
You don’t like fish sticks? I’m sorry.
I can fix something else --
I’m not -- hungry --
What are you hungry for?
(low, to himself)
PLEASE don’t let it be blood --
I’m hungry -- for you.
Oh. Wow. Uh --
Would you -- like some more wine?
He grabs his glass.
DRAINS it. She looks at hers.
I’ve -- had enough.
It goes -- right to my -- head.
She clumsily stands up.
KNOCKS OVER her glass with a stiff arm.
It hits the cement floor and SMASHES.
She looks at the broken glass sadly.
I’m -- sorry.
(looks at her hand)
Coordination -- off.
That’s okay. So’s mine.
He gets up.
Takes her hands in his.
Looks in her eyes tenderly.
Starts singing along.
'Life can be short or long,
love can be right or wrong -- '
You’re so -- sweet.
(cocks her head)
You have anything -- more upbeat?
Uh, yeah -- sure.
He goes to the mini-stereo.
Starts rifling through the CD’s.
Shayla starts shuffling over
to her makeshift ‘bed.’
I’ll be -- waiting --
Frankie GULPS. Chooses one. Puts it on.
We immediately recognize the opening strains
of Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s RELAX (DON’T DO IT).
Frankie SPINS AROUND.
Throws up his arms --
Hey-EY, uh-huh --
He JERKS AROUND like a madman,
'Relax, don’t do it --
when you wanna get to it --
Shayla sits on the bed,
watching him. Amused.
Starts to pull her dress up,
revealing the scars and injures
on the left side of her body.
A BULGE in his crotch starts GROWING.
Oh, wow --
He pulls out his wallet.
Digs out an ancient condom.
Shayla sees it. Giggles.
TOSSES her dress to the floor.
Don’t need -- THAT --
He goes over to the bed,
still moving jerkily to the music.
'When you wanna come --
when you wanna COME -- '
Shayla grins lustily.
Reaches over. GRABS his crotch.
His body JERKS.
Face goes WHITE.
Shayla feels something.
Cocks her head. Looks at her hand.
Then at the stain on his jeans
Omigod. I’m SO SORRY.
That’s okay. I’m -- used to it.
There’s no -- view.
I want -- a view.
Frankie stares at her.
Don’t you -- want me --
to be -- happy?
Of COURSE I do --
He stares off into space thinking.
Goes to the stereo.
Shuts off the music.
Thinking. Then --
I’ve GOT IT. It’ll be PERFECT.
(off her smiling face)
The TREE HOUSE.
Can you say 'love nest?'