Friday, December 17, 2010
Long And Hard
Hey there, crime kids. Happy fucking FRIDAY. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 13 of NOWHERE GIRLS, an FBI commando squad starts a full-on assault to covert op Bibi LaSalle's safe house, and deep stealth agents Cherry Nation and April Street narrowly make their escape. Meanwhile, evil criminal mastermind Honey Almond gets 'up close and personal' with her aide de camp, Rock Vargas ...
INT. BIBI'S SAFE HOUSE - NIGHT
The back door EXPLODES in a massive FIREBALL -- BANG.
Two FBI AGENTS IN BLACK stand in the doorway.
IRATE FBI AGENT
FBI, NOBODY MOVE --
YOU’RE UNDER ARREST.
Bibi WHIPS her weapon at them and start FIRING.
Their bodies get SPRAYED with bullets.
HIT the ground. THWUMP, THWUMP.
Serge YELLS at them,
half-way down into the tunnel.
C’mon, LET’S GO.
The front door EXPLODES.
Three more AGENTS storm in.
Start FIRING at them in a SPRAY OF MACHINE GUN FIRE.
Cherry and April LEAP behind the couch. Return fire.
Bibi RACES for the trap door,
but gets SHREDDED with bullets.
Her I-phone SKITTERS across the floor.
Serge GRABS it. Ducks.
A tear gas SMOKE BOMB
flies across the room.
Lands at the girls’ feet.
Starts BILLOWING poisonous gas.
The room starts filling with SMOKE.
The girls continue FIRING.
April sees the bag on the couch
where Serge got the Uzis.
She leans over, opens it.
Pulls out a GRENADE.
Come to MOMMA.
Cherry sees it. Eyes grow wide.
April pulls out another.
Thank you baby JESUS.
(hands one to Cherry)
You hit the back,
I’ll get the front.
She raises her Uzi,
fires at the front door,
keeping the agents at bay.
Two more AGENTS rush in the back door,
step over the bodies.
Red high-beams on their weapons
searching through the smoke.
The girls NOD. Pull the pins.
THROW them. DUCK.
Lands at the feet
of the agents in the back. BOOM.
A massive FIREBALL engulfs them.
Wood and metal goes FLYING.
A pipe BURSTS.
Starts SPRAYING a fountain of water.
HITS the agents at the front door. BOOM.
Their bodies EXPLODE in a red mist.
SPRAYING the wood and metal that goes FLYING.
APRIL AND CHERRY
Look at each other. Nod.
Race toward the open trap door,
and FLY down the ladder.
IN THE TUNNEL ENTRANCE
Standing on the ladder,
PELTED with debris,
April GRABS the trap door,
and YANKS it shut. BANG.
They both exhale. Climb down into --
INT. TUNNEL CHAMBER - CONTINUOUS
Serge stands there, waiting, cradling his Uzi.
Bibi bit the bullet.
GODDAMMIT. She could have led us
to Honey Almond’s location.
(holds up the I-phone)
Not to worry. I have her phone.
(swipes it with his finger)
Have all the information you need, on demand.
Now THAT’S what I call an App --
INT. HONEY’S UNDERGROUND LAIR - OFFICE - AT THAT MOMENT
Honey sits at her desk,
watches a stream of data on the computer monitor.
Pours a shot of whiskey. DOWNS it.
Rock Vargas stands in the doorway.
I have some -- news, chief.
Honey WHIRLS around. Stares at him.
Eyes burning brightly.
What the FUCK happened?
Please. Don’t shoot the messenger --
What the fuck HAPPENED? TELL ME.
The FBI -- beat us to the target.
WHAT? How did that HAPPEN?
Fucking Bagger. Perverted sonofabitch --
Bugs texted me.
It seems Bag-man picked up
an assistant on the way,
which slowed down his approach --
Honey LEAPS up.
GRABS a paperweight off the desk.
THROWS it at the wall. Rock DUCKS.
It HITS the plaster, CRACK.
That LOSER. GODDAMMIT.
I know, I know, I know --
So tell me the fuck what HAPPENED.
Uh, Bibi got shredded
into chunks in sauce --
and Street and Nation got away.
Honey stops. Cocks her head.
Eyes blinking madly.
Well, at least it’s not ALL bad news.
I’ve taken the liberty of
diverting The Bagger onto Street and Nation --
Just wanted you to know.
Close the door.
Rock does. Looks at her. Quizzical.
What did you want to talk about, chief?
Honey walks over to him.
Puts her hand on his crotch.
Shut the fuck up, Jason Bourne
and give me your ultimatum.
Long and hard.