Thursday, June 17, 2010

Ace Shares

Happy Thursday, crime freaks! You say you're feeling down? Depressed? Frustrated with your drab, dull 9-5 existence? Then why not head over to the coolest crime joint and get your daily does of hardboiled violence, right here ... at That Killing Feeling?

In chapter 4 of THE HEISTERS, we flashback in time to before the heist. Kelsey Hazard meets with her fellow co-conspirators at a run-down little motel at the beach, where the gang starts to hatch their plan ...


EXT. PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY - DAWN
Titles read ‘THREE WEEKS EARLIER.’

A heart-stopping gorgeous view of the ocean.
Grey and blue waves crest into white
like knives in the bright blue sky.

The famed thoroughfare twists and turns around the coastline.
Weaves through giant rock formations as if on a dare.

ANGLE ON --
A beat-up old Toyota sedan rumbles along in the sparse traffic.

INT. TOYOTA SEDAN - DAWN
On the car stereo, the throaty devil doll menace
of Concrete Blonde’s SCENE OF A PERFECT CRIME over --

Kelsey. Behind the wheel.
Cigarette dangling on her lip.
Rakish in Ray Ban shades.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I’d been holed up in Santa Barbara
the last few months taking it easy.
Enjoying the local color.
Shellfish, the sea and sex.
(beat)
Not necessarily in that order.
(beat)
When I saw that I’d blown through
half the dough from the last job,
I knew it was time to rustle up some more scratch.
So I spread the word through the grapevine
that I was looking for some action.
Things were pretty quiet for a while,
but then I caught a break.
I got a call from one of my go-betweens
that my old pal in LA Ronan Kenny
was putting together a sweet little stadium job.
(beat)
So here I was, on my way to the City of Angels,
the land of celluloid dreams.
(beat)
Except this was no dream.
This was the real deal --
(beat)
But little did I know it would soon become a nightmare.

EXT. SURF MOTOR COURT MOTEL - DAY
A crusty, old ramshackle affair just off PCH facing the ocean.
A row of tiny, shitty cabins on each side of the office.
A sign blinks ‘No V can y’ in pale pink neon.

Kelsey’s beater pulls into the gravel lot with a CRUNCH.
She parks. Gets out. Walks over to the office.

INT. MOTEL OFFICE - DAY
A dump. A small fan tries to push around the fetid air.
The GROTESQUE CLERK, the white version of Precious,
looks up from her National Enquirer.
Shoves a Pringle’s in her gaping maw.

GROTESQUE CLERK
(shaking her head, munching)
Sorry. All full up --

KELSEY
I don’t need a room.
I’m looking for John Adam’s cabin.

GROTESQUE CLERK
(makes a face)
Another one, huh?
(off her nod)
Cabin ten. On the right, at the end.

Kelsey nods. Leaves. Grotesque watches her leave.

GROTESQUE CLERK
Guess dey’re not queers, den --

EXT. MOTOR COURT CABIN - NIGHT
A faded, peeling, shitty, tiny little ‘vacation’ home.

Kelsey walks up to the door.
KNOCK-KNOCKS on it. It OPENS.

Ronan Kenny stands there holding a beer. Big smile.

RONAN
Come on in and pull up a log.

INT. MOTOR COURT CABIN - NIGHT
A tiny, cramped space, dark with the shades drawn.
Kelsey follows Ronan in. Eyes squinting. Adjusting to the light.

Ronan looks at two MEN sitting at a small table.

RONAN
Guys, this is Kelsey. Kelsey Hazard.

KELSEY
(nods)
Gentlemen --

A large ITALIAN GUY (40’s) gives her the once-over.

ITALIAN GUY
You said she was a pro,
but you didn’t tell me she was fuckin’ HOT.

Meet LUDO DELUCA, failed restauranteur.
Expert chef. Not so expert at business.
Double chin and a belly. Salt and pepper.
But good-looking, in that mobster-looking kinda way.

KELSEY
(to Ronan, deadpan)
And you didn’t tell me Pauley Walnuts was gonna be here.

A small, thin JEWISH GUY (50’s) chuckles softly.

JEWISH GUY
Oy. And she’s a comedian.

Meet CHICK ABER, smooth-talking former con.
Now into the big scores. Dapper. Smart.
With more than a little of the Borscht Belt in him.
Smoking a cigar. Eyes crinkled with mischief.

RONAN
(to Kelsey)
The goombah on the left is Ludo DeLuca,
and the cheap, Jew-bastard on the right here is Chick Aber.

CHICK
'Jew-bastard?'
If my parents could hear you now, rest their souls.

LUDO
Don’t listen to him.
I come from a family of restauranteurs, NOT wiseguys --

Kelsey nods slowly. Appraising them. Sits on the bed.

KELSEY
Gentlemen --

Ronan walks over to her.
Hands her a bottle of beer.

KELSEY
Thanks. So tell me about the job.

He smiles.
Leans against the kitchenette counter.
Takes a pull off his longneck.
Wipes his mouth with his sleeve.

RONAN
It’s a sweet job. Easy pickings. Low risk.

LUDO
It’s a rock concert --

CHICK
A charity event --

RONAN
At UCLA. The Rose Bowl.

KELSEY
You want to knock off The Rose Bowl --

RONAN
It’s a cinch. I worked security there.
I know the layout --
the box office, security, the whole shebang.

KELSEY
But aren’t seats for that kinda thing
sold on Ticketmaster? Online?

RONAN
Usually, yes. But not this one.
It’s a special benefit for disaster relief.
The tickets are bought on-site, that day.

KELSEY
Which disaster?

RONAN
That uh, earthquake thing.

KELSEY
You’re planning on ripping off
a CHARITY FUND-RAISER?

RONAN
Well, they’ve already raised a billion dollars,
who’s gonna miss a million?

Kelsey sips her beer.

KELSEY
A million? Nice.
(thinks)
Anybody asking ace shares?

LUDO
Nope. Equal split, right down the middle.

KELSEY
Who’s bankrolling it?

RONAN
I am. The job’s THAT good.

KELSEY
That’s very generous of you.

RONAN
I’m a generous guy.

Kelsey looks at him. Narrows her eyes.

KELSEY
How many people on the job?

RONAN
We figure two more. Muscle. Drivers. So that’s six.

She nods slowly. Thinking.

RONAN
So whaddaya think?

KELSEY
What makes it low-risk?

RONAN
Well, we gotta way in.
We just need to take care of the
traffic jam afterwards so we get out.
There’s always a traffic jam at one of these things.

KELSEY
How do we get in?

RONAN
The box office is old-school. It’s got a gate.
You climb up over it and get in. Piece a cake.
(smiles)
I used to work security there --

KELSEY
So we just walk up to the box office --

RONAN
No, no, no. Here’s the beauty part.
We go in the night before.
Then wait until the morning.
The box office opens at seven,
and the concert starts at nine.
It’s one of those all-day things.
You know, like a festival.

KELSEY
I see --

RONAN
We just need help figuring out the exit strategy.

Kelsey sips her beer.
Leans back against the pillow.

A clock TICK-TICK-TICKS.
Everybody watches her. Thinking.

She sits up. Smiles.

KELSEY
Ambulance.
We rig up a fake one and rescue somebody.

Ronan, Ludo and Chick exchange glances.
Big smiles.

CHICK
The woman is a GENIUS.

KELSEY
Hey. Why do you think I make the big bucks?

4 comments:

  1. Oh, I love this style, the flashback. It works especially well in crime fiction - not that I need to tell you that, huh? LOL!! I had an English teacher though, who wasn't a fan... graded me down... said it was "a cheat"... WTF?! Haha!! Anyway, I like getting into a story, and then having it break and go back and fill in some background for me.

    I love how you describe the little hole-in-the wall hotel... I can picture it in my mind... love the detail... missing letters on the sign... the clerk with the "gaping maw" LOL!!!

    Oh, this is getting so good!! Man, these guys are real low-lifes, aren't they? Ripping off a charity event! Haha!! I could seriously get hooked on your story-telling Carole... I bet you would be amazing sitting around a campfire, telling a tale...

    xoxo

    Ronnie

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  2. Ha. Glad you're liking it so much. I had to outline the shit out of it so I wouldn't get lost, going back and forth in time. Thank god the story finally catches up at the end ... !

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  3. Lol!! Yeah... an outline's key, isn't it? I love the end, when everything comes together. And, I hate the end... because the story is over, and if I have gotten this far, it must have been a pretty darn good tale... the kind you know has to end, but you don't want it to. So, you hope the author brings her back in another story (hint-hint). Haha!! :-)

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  4. Trust me. There are going to be MANY MORE Kelsey Hazard adventures. Trust me. She's too fucking cool NOT to ...

    ReplyDelete