Tuesday, March 2, 2010

My Momma Warned Me Not To Date Hookers

Happy Tuesday, crime motherfuckers! Are you ready to take a one-way trip to hell? A no-holds-barred hardboiled descent into madness? Then load up your favorite piece with ammo, and high-tail it over to the coolest joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's fresh slice of noir, courtesy of BLOOD GETS IN YOUR EYES ...

While the cops start staking out the hotel, drug dealer Begger Leck goes out to his car to get some ecstasy, which will help him and his merry band of murders cut up the dead bodies in his gal pal hooker Alona Tal's room ...


INT. HOTEL STARLIGHT - FRONT DESK - NIGHT
Bunky looks at Bernie and Danette, standing at the counter.

BUNKY
Sorry, we’re all full up.
(brightens)
Wait, I forgot -- you can take the jumper’s room.
It’s empty now.

BERNIE
We’ll take it.

BUNKY
So you’re doin’ a stakeout?

DANETTE
Yeah.

BUNKY
Hot dog. Is there something I can do to help?

BERNIE
Yeah. Call us if you see anyone suspicious.
(hands him his card)
My cell phone number.

DANETTE
Or if you see that girl, Holly.

BUNKY
You got it. Good luck.

They nod. Start up the stairs.
Bunky watches them go.

BUNKY
Sugar magnolia, blossoms bloomin’ --
a real stakeout, right here at the Starlight.
(beat)
Why do I have this funny feeling
them two are gonna bone?

EXT. HOTEL STARLIGHT - REAR ALLEY - NIGHT
The back door to the hotel opens.
Out walks Beggar. He looks around.
Walks over to his car.
Sticks his keys in the trunk.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Excuse me, sir.

Beggar turns, looks, sees --

KENNY
Standing at the end of the alley.

BEGGAR
Officer.

KENNY
(walks over)
Can I ask you a question?

BEGGAR
Sure thing. What’s up?

Kenny pulls out a picture.
Shows it to him.

KENNY
Have you seen this woman tonight?

ANGLE ON --
The PHOTO.
A grainy still capture from the liquor store robbery.
HOLLY. Holding a gun. Face a rictus of death.

BEGGAR
Feigns nonchalance.
Studies the picture.
Shakes his head.

BEGGAR
No, sorry.
Looks kinda dangerous.
What did she do?

KENNY
You don’t watch the news?
She held up a liquor store,
then shot some dude on a bike.
Killed three people tonight.
Maybe more.

Beggar tries for a smile.
Doesn’t quite make it.

BEGGAR
Guess I’d better be careful, huh?

Kenny studies him carefully.

KENNY
You a guest at the hotel?

BEGGAR
Yeah.

KENNY
It’s kinda late, isn’t it?
What were you getting out of the trunk?

BEGGAR
Ran out of smokes.
Just grabbing another pack.

KENNY
People don’t keep cigarettes in the trunk.
They’d be on the seat,
in the glove compartment.
But not in the trunk.

Beggar’s heart starts racing.
This is NOT going well.

BEGGAR
You want me to show you?

KENNY
Please.

He turns the lock. Opens the trunk.
It’s empty, except for the spare tire.
A couple of tools. Emergency gas can.

BEGGAR
That’s funny. I could have sworn --

KENNY
I’m going to have to ask you
to step away from the vehicle, sir.

BEGGAR
But I --

KENNY
Step AWAY from the vehicle, NOW.

Beggar stares. Wheels spinning.
All the coke, booze and pot
working their strange magic.

BEGGAR
Okay, officer. I’m sorry --

He feints to the side,
then GRABS Kenny around the waist.
SLAMS him against the car.
His head CRACKS against
the edge of the trunk with a sickening THUNK.
BANG, he goes down, face first in the gravel.

BEGGAR
(whispers)
Holy SHIT.

Beggar gets down.
Feels his pulse. Nothing.

BEGGAR
I’ve just been fucked.

He reaches into a side compartment in the trunk.
Pulls out a small white envelope.
Stuffs it in his pocket.
Picks up Kenny’s body.
Puts it in the trunk.
Quietly closes it. CLICK.

He looks around.
No one. Whew.

BEGGAR
I can’t believe -- I just did that.

He looks down.
Sees blood on the ground.
Starts kicking gravel over it with his foot.

BEGGAR
My momma warned me not to date hookers.

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