Happy Friday, crime-busters. Are you ready for your thrill-ride of the day? Then kick back, relax, pop open a cold one, and get your fix of balls-out, hardboiled pulp fiction right here, where the scene is cool, the girls are hot ... and carry AK-47's ... with NOWHERE GIRL.
Screened one from the time capsule last night. SEA OF LOVE, with Al Pacino, Ellen Barkin and John Goodman. A bit dated, but it still works. Al and John are investigating a series of murders that happen to men who answer personal ads. (See what I mean about dated? No internet yet.) They close in on Ellen Barkin, but Al just has to sleep with her. The big twist ending you can see a mile away, but the fun is seeing Al and Ellen in action. Great acting, and incredibly hot love scenes ... back when they still knew how to do 'em. 1 and 1/2 guns up!
Onto today's joint from NOWHERE GIRL, and hold onto our hats kids, cause we got non-stop action for ya ...
In part one, black ops assassin Wendon Swift dukes it out with CIA agent Shag Holliday...
In part two, stripper Cherry Nation tends to Peeler Mardo's gunshot wounds ...
In part three, Homeland Security agent gets into a fender bender, and then high-tails it on foot ...
And in part three, Wendon and Shag fight to the finish.
EXT. GARAGE ROOF - NIGHT
Wendon kneels on the tiles. Cradling a sniperscope rifle.
She JAMS a new magazine in, KA-CHINK.
Takes aim. Sneers.
Dick Cheney eat your fucking heart out.
Hands suddenly GRAB her by the neck.
She GAGS. Gets pulled back.
Her rifle CLATTERS onto the tiles.
Wendon GRABS the hands,
and viciously YANKS them off.
She WHIRLS around and faces --
SHAG. Aiming a Sig Sauer at her.
Hands in the air! I’m a federal agent!
Wendon smiles. Raises her hands.
So am I, asshole.
Get on your knees. NOW.
She arches an eyebrow.
Then WHIRLS like a top
and KICKS Shag in the face -- CRACK.
He FLIES BACKWARDS -- OOF.
She LEAPS into the air
and lands on top of him, THWUMP.
He GRABS her by the waist,
and they ROLL across the tiles --
FLY off the edge of the roof,
and BANG into a dumpster.
IN THE WOODS
Cherry puts down her gun.
Looks at Peeler.
They stopped shooting.
How’s your leg? Can you walk?
He gets up. Puts his weight on it.
Yeah. But it really hurts.
Cherry takes off her jacket.
RIPS off one of the arms.
Then the other.
Ties them together.
Then wraps it around the wound,
pulls it TIGHT.
Puts the armless jacket back on.
There. That should hold it for awhile.
C’mon, let’s get the fuck outta here.
Where did you learn how to do that?
Hey, just because I take my clothes off for a living
doesn’t mean I wasn’t a Girl Scout.
INT. YELLOW CAB - MOVING - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
April ZOOMS west on Sunset. Window down.
The wind WHIPPING her hair.
The rain is coming down harder, getting her wet.
She checks her PDA. Looks up. Sees something.
You’re in the INTERSECTION!
She HITS the breaks, and the cab SKIDS.
EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - CONTINUOUS
A BENTLEY SEDAN has pulled out of a mini-mall,
it’s nose in the intersection.
April tries to brake, but she hydroplanes,
and SMASHES into the side of the hood.
PUNCHING the car sideways.
April’s cab COUGHS and dies.
The hood FLIES UP.
Steam BILLOWS out of the engine.
The cab driver wakes up.
Starts SCREAMING at April.
What you do to my TAXI-CAB, mother-fucker!
April opens the door, starts to get out.
Turns to him.
Guess you won’t be praising Allah today.
EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - INTERSECTION - CONTINUOUS
The owner of the Bentley, an IRATE AGENT races over to April.
Gets in her face. SHOUTS at her.
You fucking BITCH.
Do you realize HOW MUCH that car COSTS?!
(WHIPS out his Blackberry)
Just wait till the fucking COPS get here.
(WHIPS out her ID)
Homeland Security, asshole.
Get out of my fucking face.
(looks at it)
Oh, yeah -- right. Homeland Security.
What an awful name.
Sounds like an insurance company.
Ooh, I’m scared.
April PUNCHES him in the face, WHAM.
He goes down. She looks around.
Traffic is moving around them.
She pulls out the PDA.
Checks the location.
It’s right around the corner. Fuck it.
And she TAKES OFF on foot, running.
EXT. GARAGE - DUMPSTER - NIGHT - AT THAT MOMENT
The heavens open up, and it starts POURING rain.
Thunder BOOMS. Lightening CRACKS in the sky.
IN THE DUMPSTER
Wendon is on top of Shag, CHOKING him.
He PRIES her fingers away.
HEAD-BUTTS her, BANG.
She FLIES against the side of the container, CRACK.
Shag grabs a board,
BANGS it on her head, WHAM.
She goes down.
He starts to KICK her, but she GRABS his leg,
YANKS him off his feet.
She stands. Pulls out her Sig Sauer.
Fuck this shit.
She FIRES at his chest -- BANG-BANG-BANG.
He FLIES against the wall, flops down.
She HOPS out of the dumpster. Looks.
And she TAKES OFF into the woods.