Hey there, crime slicksters. Happy fucking Thursday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.
In Chapter 2 of DAZED, BEAUTIFUL & BRUISED, undercover cop Carrie Love gets 'down and dirty' in the gutter in Venice Beach. Meanwhile, tiny auteur Bruce Ball is 'bimbo testing' talent for a beer commercial, when he gets startling news from production VP Dina Daerr about his next 'production' ...
EXT. VENICE BEACH ALLEY - DAWN
Title Card reads ONE YEAR LATER.
An acid-jazzy crime theme bubbles under --
The barest light of dawn.
A streetlight SNAPS off.
In a filthy alley behind 'Hollywood Pizza,'
a Boardwalk dive.
A WOMAN sleeps --
a living pile of rags.
FEMALE VOICE (V.O.)
The worst part
about sleeping outside
is that you never feel
rested when you wake up.
You just lie there
because there’s nowhere to go.
And besides, it’s fucking cold out.
We recognize her voice
from the opening voiceover.
CAMERA PUSHES IN on her.
Underneath, despite the filth,
we see she’s young. Pretty.
FEMALE VOICE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
So you just lie there
and remember
what it was like
before this happened.
You think about things
like a hot shower.
A hot breakfast.
Reading the paper
with a cup of coffee
and a pack of smokes.
A HOMELESS MAN approaches on tip-toes,
touches her blanket --
And she LEAPS UP, FLASHES her badge,
POINTS her gun at him.
WOMAN
Hold it right there, motherfucker!
You just messed with the wrong chick.
Assume the position!
HOMELESS MAN
Shit, lady -- I mean, officer,
I wasn’t doing nothing, I was just --
He looks down at the big wet stain
spreading on his crotch.
WOMAN
Jesus fucking Christ,
look at yourself.
Get outta here.
Don’t let me see you
around here again.
The man hobbles away in a panic.
The chick sits back down.
WOMAN (CONT'D)
(into the camera)
You didn’t think I was homeless, did you?
(pulls out a bottle)
The name’s Carrie, Carrie Love.
I carry a badge.
(toasts, takes a sip)
Just getting into character.
INT. PRODUCTION OFFICE - NIGHT
Dean Martin’s YOU’RE NOBODY
UNTIL SOMEBODY LOVES YOU over --
A small tri-level house
converted into a groovy work space.
BRUCE BALL, six-feet of attitude
in a tiny, squishy body,
is testing talent.
The auteur squints
into the camera lens.
BRUCE
It’s called 'getting into character. '
(beat)
Okay. You are so fucking excited
about drinking the delicious
Genuine Cold Ice Draft Lager
that you’re about to come.
This is the best fucking beer
you’ve had in your short,
meaningless life.
A pretty young MODEL (18)
holds a can of beer,
vaguely insulted.
Topless, covers her nipples
with her other arm.
BRUCE
Action.
MODEL
(sexy)
When I get really thirsty,
I gotta have a cold one.
CAMERA POV
The bim drops her arm,
rubs the can on her breasts.
MODEL
But when I get really hot,
I reach for a --
BRUCE
No, stop! This isn’t a porno.
Why are you rubbing it
on your boobs?
Have you ever seen that
in a beer commercial?
MODEL
But you said you
wanted me to come.
BRUCE
I said LIKE you were gonna come,
it was a metaphor, a --
SULTRY FEMALE VOICE(O.S.)
Bruce, I hate to interrupt,
but that weird German guy just called.
BRUCE
(excited)
The shoot? Was it about the shoot?
In walks DINA DAERR, production VP.
The kind of woman who spends
more on her haircut
than most people’s car payment.
Flashes a 100-watt smile.
Arches a perfect, razor-thin brow.
DINA
Yeah, he said the call time
has been moved up,
you’re supposed to be there --
(looks at watch)
Now.
BRUCE
Hot stuff, my first feature.
MODEL
You’re going to go work
on a movie?
BRUCE
Yeah. I’ll see if there’s
a part for you. Let you know.
DINA
(to the model)
You might not want to be
in this kinda flick.
MODEL
Why not? What’s it called?
Burt glares at Dina.
Eyes yell at her to shut up.
DINA
'Harry Bottom and the Sorcerer’s Pole.'
INT. UNDERCOVER VEHICLE - MORNING
Carrie sits behind the wheel
of an idling late-model sedan.
Holds a container of coffee.
Breathes in the steam. Shivers.
CARRIE (V.O.)
Can’t wait to get home
and take a long, hot shower.
Wash off that ‘eau de gutter.’
She pulls out a flask.
Pours in something brown. Toasts.
CARRIE (V.O.)
But then, if I keep this up --
what’s the difference?
I love the voice overs... they really set the mood for a scene... you feel like the character is speaking to only you... it really draws you in...
ReplyDeleteAhh... I thought that "dumpster diva" sounded familiar... hey Carrie! :)
Oh... hun... you made the poor homeless guy wee in his pants... oh well, probably the closest those drawers are gonna get to a washing , isn't it.... haha!
Hmmm.... Dina... name sounds familiar... from LEGS?
OMG!!! LMAO.... "you told me to make myself cum..." Hahah!! Yeah honey... that's what I do when I want to get myself off... rub a cold can of beer on my tits! LOL!!!
Oh, that is too funny, Carole... I so LOVE your sense of humor!! :)
"Harry Bottom and the Sorcerer’s Pole." LOL!! Where do come up with these... that so could be the title for a gay porno... haha!!
Okay... don't keep me in suspense... what happens next...? (cinches seatbelt a little tighter...) :)
xoxoxo <3
Ronnie
Too funny. So glad you likee. (As if you wouldn't.) I think there's a lot of great stuff in this one, just that it's a bit uneven. And yes, I stole lots of stuff from this story for LEGS. (For example, alot of the love story with the porn stare -- but in LEGS, you only get the middle part.)
ReplyDeleteHave a great weak-end, and we'll have more fun on Monday ...
xoxo<3