What You Talkin' Bout, Willis?

Hey there, horror kids. Happy fucking Monday! Hope you had a great weak-end. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, the cops question Frankie's mother Julie about his underground lab, Frankie and dead cheerleader Shayla head off on their 'first date,' and Shayla's parents appear on the local news pleading with the public to help find her ...


INT. PATROL CAR - DAY
Chet and Beck sit in the car sipping coffee.
Watching Frankie’s house.

CHET
So how long have been into --
infectious diseases?

BECK
One day as a little kid,
I saw The Andromeda Strain on TV.
Changed my life. The idea that a virus
could wipe out the entire planet
scared the shit out of me.
I vowed to never let that happen.

CHET
Wow.

BECK
When did you know you
wanted to be a cop?

CHET
Similar story --

BECK
What inspired you?
LAPD Blue? Homicide?

CHET
(clears throat)
Barney Miller.
(shrugs)
I’m an orphan.
Those guys had a real sense of camaraderie,
like a family, you know?

BECK
(smiles, nods, sees something)
There she is.

CHET
Let’s go --

EXT. FRANKIE’S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - DAY
Julie pulls out her keys.
Unlocks the door.
Chet and Beck appear behind her.

CHET
Excuse me, Julie Stein?

JULIE
(tired)
That’s me --
(turns, looks)
Officer. Is there anything wrong?

BECK
We’d like to talk to you
about your son Frankie.
(off her stare, shows ID)
Beck Driver, CDC.

JULIE
(alarmed)
What’s wrong? Wh-what did he do?

CHET
Can we talk inside?

INT. JULIE’S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Julie sits on the couch.
Chet sits in a chair facing her.
Beck stands in front of the fireplace.

JULIE
A rat? Really?

CHET
Yes, ma’am.

BECK
And we’re looking for the person
who brought it back to life.

CHET
Your neighbor Peggy Heck told us
your son Frankie has a --
lab in your basement.

JULIE
(under her breath)
That bitch --
(recovers)
Well, yes.
But that’s for his chemistry class.
He wouldn’t do anything like that.
(proud)
He got in early admission to MIT.

BECK
Would you mind if we took a look?

JULIE
Well, I don’t know.
I’m not allowed down there.

CHET
We can get a warrant.

JULIE
(sighs, stands)
Follow me --

INT. FRANKIE’S VOLKSWAGON BUS - DAY
Frankie sits behind the wheel.
Shayla sits next to him.

Now wearing a long, blonde wig.
She adjusts it clumsily.

SHAYLA
It’s -- hot. Itchy --

FRANKIE
I’m sorry, but you have to wear it, okay?
(beat)
Think of it like a disguise.

SHAYLA
(stares out the window)
Disguise.

FRANKIE
I thought we could go to Benny’s.
Hope that’s okay --

SHAYLA
Benny’s --
(thinks)
Willis.

FRANKIE
(nervous)
W-willis?

SHAYLA
Yeah. Went there -- with Willis.
(looks at him)
Do you -- know him?

FRANKIE
Uh, no --

SHAYLA
CHEESE-BURGER.

FRANKIE
Huh?

SHAYLA
(sadly)
Don’t -- know.

FRANKIE
Don’t strain yourself
trying to remember everything.
Just think about the fun
we’re going to have.
(smiles)
Our first date --

Shayla smiles.
Looks out the window at the scenery.

SHAYLA
Yeah.

FRANKIE
So you like cheeseburgers, huh?
I do, too.

SHAYLA
He -- HIT me.

FRANKIE
Who hit you?

SHAYLA
Willis.
(looks at him)
You don’t -- know him?

PUSH IN ON Frankie’s face.
Quietly freaking out.

FRANKIE
No. Sorry --
(bad fake laugh)
Whatchoo talkin’ bout?

INT. NEWS STUDIO - DAY
A cozy, cheap ‘living room’ set
that would do Good Morning America proud.

Del Dunn sits on a chair
facing Brub and Adelle Petrie,
seated on an overstuffed couch.

Adelle clutches a tissue in her hands,
eyes blinking back tears.

Brub holds a mug of coffee.
Looks haunted. Lost.

Del leans into the camera.
Serious. Speaks in hushed tones.

DEL
We’re here today with Brub and Adelle Petrie,
the parents of head cheerleader Shayla Petrie,
who has been missing for two days now --
(to them)
Thank you for coming.
I know it must have been hard for you,
given the circumstances.

BRUB
No sh- (BEEP) --
(beat)
Uh, sorry.

ADELLE
(low)
You and your foul mouth --

DEL
Is there anything you’d like
to share with the folks out there?

BRUB
If anybody knows the whereabouts
of our darling daughter,
PLEASE notify the police IMMEDIATELY.
Shayla’s a GOOD girl,
not some common BAR-SLUT.

He takes a sip of coffee.
Eyes burning with hatred.

ADELLE
Please help us find our little girl.
If something bad has happened to her,
I don’t know WHAT we’ll do --

She trails off, fights back tears.

BRUB
(low)
I know ONE thing YOU won’t do --

ADELLE
(hisses)
SORRY I haven’t been
in the mood to (BEEP) you.
HONESTLY, how can you
think of SEX at a time like this --

DEL
I think we’re straying off the topic --

BRUB
EXCUSE me if a man has NEEDS, sister.
A good (BEEP) relieves STRESS.

ADELLE
Watch your (BEEP) mouth, mister --

BRUB
Oh, YEAH?

DEL
(touches her earpiece)
What?
(to them)
Put a SOCK IN IT.
(listens)
Really?

A HAND appears next to her chair.
Hands her a piece of paper.

DEL (CONT'D)
(reads it)
I’ve just been handed a late-breaking bulletin.
Police now have a suspect in the case.
Their identity has not been released yet,
but it’s believed to be one of Shayla’s classmates.

BRUB
I (BEEP) KNEW it.
It’s that no-good BOYFRIEND of hers --

DEL
(agitated)
Thanks for stopping by, Brub and Adelle.
We now pause for station identification --