Love Nest

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In Chapter 10 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, detective Chet Ordesky and CDC agent Beck Driver inspect the undead rat at the city morgue and reach a startling conclusion. Meanwhile, science genius nerd Frankie Stein has his 'first date' with dead cheerleader Shayla Petrie ...


INT. MORGUE - DAY
Cold, sterile. Right out of Quincy.

Beck and Ordesky stand next to the
MEDICAL EXAMINER, a tall, bird-like chap.

Wisps of white hair fleck a bald head.
Piercing eyes like steel.

MEDICAL EXAMINER
Most unusual.
We don’t usually handle animals.

He goes to a steel drawer.
They follow him.

He slides it open to reveal --
a tangled mess of blood, bones and fur
in a glass case marked ‘biohazard.’

BECK
Jesus. What HAPPENED?

CHET
I shot it, but it kept going at me.
I finally got the little fucker
by smashing it over the head
with my nightstick.

MEDICAL EXAMINER
I’ve never seen anything like it
in my entire career. It was dead --
but still moving around.

BECK
And you know that from examining
a tissue sample?

MEDICAL EXAMINER
Indeed. It died twenty-four hours
before the incident.

Chet looks at Beck.
Now notices how hot she is.

CHET
What do you think?

BECK
I don’t know. Could be a some
kinda zombie virus thing, or --
(thinks)
Someone brought it back to life.

CHET
Brought it back --

MEDICAL EXAMINER
To LIFE?

BECK
I need to run some tests on it.

CHET
This used to be such a sleepy little town.
Now all this crazy shit’s going on.

BECK
Oh? What else is going on?

CHET
The head cheerleader got run over
in a hit and run and was abducted.

BECK
(startled)
She was abducted AFTER she was killed?

CHET
Yeah. What? You look -- strange.

BECK
(hint of a smile)
If this means what I think it means --

MEDICAL EXAMINER
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

CHET
WHAT? Tell me.

PUSH IN ON Beck. Eyes blazing.

BECK
We just might have a
modern-day Frankenstein on our hands --

INT. FRANKIE’S BASEMENT LAB - NIGHT
The sickly-sweet shag-carpet ‘soft rock’ sound of Bread’s
I WANT TO MAKE IT WITH YOU over --

Frankie and Shayla,
sitting at a small card table
finishing a candlelit dinner.

Frankie wears a sports coat.
Shayla, one of Frankie’s mother’s old dresses.

And tons of garish make-up, poorly applied.
She turns her head to look at something,
and the scarf that hides her
smashed-in skull slips off.

Frankie barely notices.

FRANKIE
So I said to Josh,
‘I said nitrate, NOT titrate.’

He giggles, pleased with his joke.

Shayla cocks her head.
Pokes at her food with her fork.

SHAYLA
I don’t -- understand.

FRANKIE
(slaps his forehead)
Silly me. I’m sorry.
Let’s talk about something else --
(notices she hasn’t eaten anything)
You don’t like fish sticks? I’m sorry.
I can fix something else --

SHAYLA
I’m not -- hungry --
(strange smile)
For food.

FRANKIE
Oh.
(alarmed)
What are you hungry for?
(low, to himself)
PLEASE don’t let it be blood --

SHAYLA
(goofy smile)
I’m hungry -- for you.

FRANKIE
Oh. Wow. Uh --
(clears throat)
Would you -- like some more wine?

He grabs his glass.
DRAINS it. She looks at hers.

SHAYLA
I’ve -- had enough.
It goes -- right to my -- head.

She clumsily stands up.
KNOCKS OVER her glass with a stiff arm.

It hits the cement floor and SMASHES.
She looks at the broken glass sadly.

SHAYLA
I’m -- sorry.
(looks at her hand)
Coordination -- off.

FRANKIE
That’s okay. So’s mine.

He gets up.
Takes her hands in his.

Looks in her eyes tenderly.
Starts singing along.

FRANKIE
'Life can be short or long,
love can be right or wrong -- '

SHAYLA
(smiles)
You’re so -- sweet.
(cocks her head)
You have anything -- more upbeat?

FRANKIE
Uh, yeah -- sure.

He goes to the mini-stereo.
Starts rifling through the CD’s.

Shayla starts shuffling over
to her makeshift ‘bed.’

SHAYLA
(sexy, robotic)
I’ll be -- waiting --

Frankie GULPS. Chooses one. Puts it on.

We immediately recognize the opening strains
of Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s RELAX (DON’T DO IT).

Frankie SPINS AROUND.
Throws up his arms --

FRANKIE
Hey-EY, uh-huh --

He JERKS AROUND like a madman,
singing along.

FRANKIE
'Relax, don’t do it --
when you wanna get to it --

Shayla sits on the bed,
watching him. Amused.

Starts to pull her dress up,
revealing the scars and injures
on the left side of her body.

A BULGE in his crotch starts GROWING.

FRANKIE
Oh, wow --

He pulls out his wallet.
Digs out an ancient condom.

Shayla sees it. Giggles.
TOSSES her dress to the floor.

SHAYLA
Don’t need -- THAT --
FRANKIE
(realizes)
Oh, right.

He goes over to the bed,
still moving jerkily to the music.

FRANKIE
'When you wanna come --
when you wanna COME -- '

Shayla grins lustily.
Reaches over. GRABS his crotch.

His body JERKS.
Face goes WHITE.

Shayla feels something.
Cocks her head. Looks at her hand.
Then at the stain on his jeans

SHAYLA
Already?

FRANKIE
Omigod. I’m SO SORRY.

SHAYLA
(brightly)
That’s okay. I’m -- used to it.
(looks around)
There’s no -- view.

FRANKIE
View?

SHAYLA
No windows.
(pouts)
I want -- a view.

Frankie stares at her.
Wheels spinning.

FRANKIE
Windows --

SHAYLA
Don’t you -- want me --
to be -- happy?

FRANKIE
Of COURSE I do --

He stares off into space thinking.
Goes to the stereo.

Shuts off the music.
Thinking. Then --

FRANKIE
I’ve GOT IT. It’ll be PERFECT.
(off her smiling face)
The TREE HOUSE.

SHAYLA
'Tree house?'

FRANKIE
Yeah.
(beat)
Can you say 'love nest?'