Lead On, Macduff

Hey there, horror kids. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of FRANKENSTEIN IN LOVE, detective Chet Ordesky and CDC agent Beck Driver get into a fight. Meanwhile, science genius nerd Frankie Stein visits dead cheerleader Vita Heck in his tree house, where she announces she wants to go on a 'date' ... and then, to make matters worse, Frankie's friend Josh announces that he can't keep their secret any more, and wants to turn himself in ...


EXT. FRANKIE’S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - DAY
Chet and Beck stand on the front stoop.
Chet RINGS the bell.

BECK
Nobody’s home.
Let’s come back later.

CHET
Hold on a sec.
Maybe she’s taking a shit.

BECK
That’s disgusting.

CHET
Haven’t you ever been
uncoiling a sidewinder
and the doorbell rang?

BECK
First of all, I’m a petite flower.
I don’t DO ‘side-winders.’

CHET
Well, excuse me, big-city gal.
I guess your shit doesn’t stink.

BECK
You got THAT right.

He RINGS the bell again.

CHET
I know what your problem is.

BECK
Oh? And what would that be?

CHET
You need to get laid.
(off her look)
I can tell it’s been a long time.

BECK
That’s none of your fucking business.

CHET
Look. Your cheeks
are turning red. I’m RIGHT.

BECK
(looks at this belly)
'Time to make the donuts' --

CHET
Hey. No need to be nasty.

BECK
You can dish it out,
but you can’t take it?
Small-town HICK.

CHET
Bitch.

BECK
Asshole.

CHET
WHORE.

BECK
Fat FUCK.

They stare at each other a long beat.

CHET
I’m sorry.
I shouldn’t have gotten personal with you --
(beat)
The wife and I’ve not been --
(beat)
I’ve been sleeping on the couch.

BECK
Oh, wow. That sucks.

CHET
Yeah.

Pause.

BECK
You’re right.
It’s been awhile,
and I get -- defensive.
(beat)
Sorry.

CHET
(nods)
Whattaya say we get some coffee
and come back later?

BECK
(glimmer of a smile)
Lead on, MacDuff.

CHET
Who’s MacDuff?

BECK
Never mind --

INT. FRANKIE’S BASEMENT LAB - DAY
The electronic equipment near the workbench is gone.
In it’s place is a gerbil in a cage.

A child’s chemistry set is displayed.
We see an X-box and a stack of videogames.

FRANKIE
My god, how dull.
(sighs)
Should work.

He SNAPS a padlock shut on a big cabinet.
Shuts off the lights. Goes to the stairs.

INT. FRANKIE’S KITCHEN - DAY
Frankie opens up the fridge.
Starts searching for a snack.
Then hears a car door SLAM outside.

FRANKIE
Mom --

He hurries out the back door.
Julie walks into the kitchen.
Puts down her bag. Sighs.

INT. TREE HOUSE - DAY
Shayla lays on the futon
watching a soap opera on TV.

SHAYLA
NO. She’s -- pregnant --

The door opens.
Frankie walks in. Closes it.

SHAYLA
You’re home -- early.

FRANKIE
Had an emergency
I had to take care of.
(beat)
What are you watching?

SHAYLA
As The -- World Turns.

FRANKIE
Soap opera --

SHAYLA
I want to -- go on -- a date.

FRANKIE
A date?

SHAYLA
(points at the TV)
Like -- them.
(beat)
Want to go -- outside.
Feel -- cooped up.

FRANKIE
Okay --

SHAYLA
R-really?

FRANKIE
Yeah, sure --

Frankie’s cell phone RINGS.
He answers it.

FRANKIE
Hello?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY
Josh weaves through
the throng of kids
on their way to class
talking on his smart-phone.

JOSH
Where are you?
You weren’t in chem lab.

FRANKIE
I had a -- emergency --

JOSH
Don’t tell me.
I don’t want to know.
(beat)
I can’t take it anymore, Frankie.
I’m gonna turn myself in.

FRANKIE
NO. You CAN’T do that --

JOSH
I can’t sleep at night, Frankie.
Can’t eat. I can’t take it anymore.

FRANKIE
I need to talk to you.
I need to meet with you.

JOSH
I don’t see the point in --

FRANKIE
Josh, PLEASE.
We can’t talk
about this on the phone.
Meet me at Benny’s
in half an hour, okay? Please?
I need to talk to you.

JOSH
I dunno, it seems --

FRANKIE
Josh, we’ve been friends
since we were SIX.
I gave you your
first copy of PLAYBOY --

JOSH
(sighs)
Okay, okay.
I’ll meet you there.
(beat)
But then afterward,
I’m turning myself in --