Super-Spy Deluxe

Hey there, crime kids. Happy fucking Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

Today brings the start of a special treat. A couple of months ago I posted the spy thriller NOWHERE GIRL, soon to be a graphic novel. Well, I got so excited about this development, that I decided to write a SEQUEL ...

In Chapter 1 of NOWHERE GIRLS, we once again meet super-spies Cherry Nation and April Street. Right now they're at home relaxing at night, but their reverie is interrupted in a most 'explosive' way. Meanwhile, over at the White House, the president is having the State Dinner, which ALSO gets interrupted ...


EXT. MALIBU COLONY - NIGHT
A full moon glows above the ocean,
inky black water forming steel grey
and white waves CRASHING to shore.

A BOAT appears. Drops anchor.
A pair of FIGURES IN BLACK
in wet suits JUMP into the water.
Start swimming toward --

Glittering multi-million dollar
homes on the sand.
The expensive seats.

We face one joint
whose lights are BLAZING.

INT. MALIBU HOME - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
A gorgeous, lux pad that would do
Jerry Bruckheimer proud.

Large, overstuffed furniture. Outre art.
Big-screen plasma screen. Full bar.
Lit candles everywhere.

APRIL STREET (28) sits on the couch
watching a movie.

Dark brown hair in a smokin’ pageboy.
Tall and curvy. More than hot
in a black leather catsuit.
Super-spy deluxe.

She GRABS a handful of popcorn
from a bowl on her lap.

APRIL
Kick his ASS.

ON THE SCREEN
We see Milla Jovovich in RESIDENT EVIL,
brandishing two giant semi-automatic weapons,
SPRAYING BULLETS into the bad guys.

SITTING NEXT TO APRIL
Is her twin sister, CHERRY NATION (28),
her doppelganger, except for the long, blonde hair.

Former stripper, now her partner in espionage.
Veronica to her Betty, if you will.

Right now she’s looking at her laptop.
Takes a sip from her martini.
Shakes her head in disbelief.

CHERRY
'Emma Peel' friended me?
What the hell?

APRIL
You’re on Face-fuck too much.
(at the screen)
KILL HIM.

Suddenly the big picture window behind them
EXPLODES in a hail of bullets.

The two figures JUMP into the room.
Point their tactical assault weapons at them.

TALL FIGURE IN BLACK
(Russian accent)
Somebody order room service?

EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT
A clear, sparkling summer night
at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

There’s a long line of limos idling
outside the president’s joint.

Must be some swanky shindig.
What’s for State Dinner?

INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - REAR ENTRANCE - CONTINUOUS
A pair of SECRET SERVICES AGENTS
stand in the doorway.
Nondescript. World-weary. Stone-faced.

A FAT MAN (40’s)
and his GORGEOUS BLOND WIFE (30’s)
approach them.

She’s quite the trophy.
Tall, thin and busty,
with bottle-blonde hair.
Beaming. Just thrilled to be there.

FAT MAN
Akyab and Vicki Malani,
from the Yemeni Embassy.

The OLDER AGENT looks at his clipboard.
Nods. Checks off their names.
They walk in.

INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - BALLROOM - NIGHT
THE PRESIDENT (40’s), good-looking,
sharp in his tux, eyes blazing with serene smarts,
chats with an AFRICAN DIGNITARY.

The Malanis walk up to him.
The Prez gets an eyeful of Vicki.

Smiles broadly. Offers her hand.
She shakes it. Dazzled.

VICKI
Nice to meet you, Mr. President.
My stars, you’re even better-looking
in person.

Akyab puts his hand
on the Prez’s shoulder.
Leans in.

AKYAB
Mr. President, thank you very much
for having us.

THE PRESIDENT
I’m glad both of you came tonight.
Which embassy are you with?

Akyab smiles.
Opens his jacket to reveal
DOZENS OF SMALL EXPLOSIVE DEVICES
strapped to his bulky torso.

AKYAB
Embassy? We’re with the Taliban --

VICKI
(crazy grin)
Praise Allah, y’all.
(beat)
Love what you’ve done with the ballroom --