Take Me To Your Honey Pot

Hey there, crime kids. Happy fucking Hump Day! It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 11 of NOWHERE GIRLS, this really start to heat up when 'Assassin To The Stars' The Bagger and his henchwoman Lemon Lebon start tracking Homeland Security agents April Street's and Cherry Nation's location at interpol agent Bibi LaSalle's safe house -- but before they get too near, Serge removes the GPS tracking device that had been planted in Bibi's neck ...


INT. BUGS’ SUV - NIGHT
Bugs sits behind the wheel.
Looks at The Bagger quizzically.

BUGS
Did you clear it with Honey?

BAGGER
Hell, no. Mind your own business.
You’re the DRIVER, that’s it.
So if you know what’s good for you,
zip the lip. This is MY op.

BUGS
But --

A soft RAP-RAP-RAP on the tinted window.
Bagger rolls it down, revealing -- Lemon.
She leans in the window.

BAGGER
Hey there, worker bee.
Ready to dive bomb the hive?

LEMON
Take me to your honey pot.

She opens the rear door.
Hops in. Looks at Bugs.

LEMON (CONT’D)
Wow. This must be big.
We’ve got a driver and everything.

BUGS
I’m not a DRIVER.
I’ll have you know
I’m clearance level six.
(to The Bagger)
You can’t expect me to believe
Lady Gaga here is an OPERATIVE.

BAGGER
My dear boy, this is Lemon LeBon.
She can kill a man in six languages.

LEMON
Seven, actually.

She reaches forward,
PINCHES a spot on Bugs’ neck.

LEMON (CONT’D)
Umrijeti.

He HOWLS with pain.
SWATS her hand away.

BUGS
OW. What the fuck was THAT?

LEMON
Sibenik death grip.
All the rage in Croatia.
Don’t leave eastern Europe without it.

BAGGER
Enough foreplay.
Let’s rock the fucking ROLL.
We have terrorists to seduce.
VAGINAS to capture.

Bugs puts the car in gear.
Switches on the GPS.
Starts driving. Mutters to himself.

BUGS
I just HAD to leave the CIA --

INT. BIBI’S SAFE HOUSE - AT THAT MOMENT
Bibi lies on the couch on her side.
Serge has drawn a red circle on her neck.
He sterilizes the scalpel in alcohol.

SERGE
Ingenious. They disguised the
entry wound as a birthmark.

BIBI
No. That is real birthmark.
They took it off, then put it back on.

SERGE
Like I said. Ingenious --

IN THE KITCHEN AREA
Cherry huddles with April,
looks white as a ghost.
The enormity of what’s happening
is finally sinking in.

APRIL
How you holding up?

CHERRY
I’ve been better --
(beat)
If that bitch hurts my kids, so help me god,
there’s gonna be HELL to pay.

APRIL
We’ll gonna get this Honey Almond
character, trust me.

CHERRY
But how?

APRIL
(looks at Bibi)
Well, Bibi DOES know her location. Hello.

CHERRY
That’s RIGHT. Shit.
I’m not TOO distracted --

SERGE (O.C.)
That’s it, all done. As good as new.

The girls turn, look.
Bibi sits on the couch
with a bandage on her neck.
Smiles at the girls brightly.

BIBI
(sings, off-key)
I’m fucked with Band-Aid,
and Band-Aid’s fucked with me --

INT. BUGS’ SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
The crunchy snarl of The Sex Pistols’ SUBMISSION over --

Bugs and the gang cruising down
Pacific Avenue in Venice.

He glances at the GPS.
Turns white. Looks at The Bagger.

BUGS
The signal. It STOPPED.

BAGGER
WHAT?

BUGS
(points)
It stopped blinking.

BAGGER
Somebody disabled the tracking device?

BUGS
But according to Honey,
it was implanted UNDER HER SKIN.

BAGGER
Shit, piss, fuck, COCKSUCKER.
(beat)
How close were we before it went out?

BUGS
Just a couple of blocks.

BAGGER
Pull over, NOW.

Bugs does. Sighs. Looks at Bagger.

BUGS
Okay, what now?

BAGGER
You stay in the car.
Lemon and I will search door-to-door.

LEMON
Ooh, goody. Like Halloween.

The Bagger pulls out a snub-nosed
Uzi submachine gun out of his coat.
Raises it. Grins.

BAGGER
Except this time, the trick IS the treat --