The Spy Who Dumped Me

Hey there, crime kids. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of NOWHERE GIRLS, things really start to heat up when super-spy April Street calls her ex, black ops spook Simon Caine for help, just as their 'safe house on wheels' is attacked. Meanwhile, FBI agents Sunday Sparks and Max Cargo are closing in on their location ...


EXT. BIBI’S SAFE HOUSE - CRIME SCENE - NIGHT
Sunday and Max walk up to a PANEL TRUCK.
Sunday knocks on the window.
The side door OPENS. They peer in.

MAX
You get the location yet?

IN THE TRUCK
A pair of SURVEILLANCE TECHS
turn and look at them.

BALD, INTENSE TECH
Yeah, we did, but --

HORN-RIMMED GLASSES TECH
We lost the signal.

BALD, INTENSE TECH
They realized we could track them --

HORN-RIMMED GLASSES TECH
And then destroyed the phone.

BALD, INTENSE TECH
They were in Venice Beach.
But they’re probably now in transit --

HORN-RIMMED GLASSES TECH
They were in a parking lot --

BALD, INTENSE TECH
Inside a hippie motor home --

HORN-RIMMED GLASSES TECH
Painted all crazy, you know,
like the Partridge Family.

BALD, INTENSE TECH
(sings, monotone)
I think I love you,
so what am I so afraid of?

HORN-RIMMED GLASSES TECH
Great karaoke number.

The techs look at each other.
Nod. Sip their coffee.

SUNDAY
You two should take your act on the road.

HORN-RIMMED GLASSES TECH
Oh, gosh, no. Strictly against regulations.

BALD, INTENSE TECH
(to Horn-Rimmed)
Are you sure about that?

MAX
ENOUGH. Just gimme the address.

Bald, Intense scribbles on a scrap of paper.
Hands it over. Max SNATCHES it out his hand.

MAX (CONT’D)
You two outta get out more often.

INT. SERGE’S MOTOR HOME - AT THAT MOMENT
Serge drives, cigarette dangling on his lip.
Cherry rides shotgun.
Watches the scenery out the window.

April sits on a built-in couch on the wall behind them.
Pulls out her cell. Punches a number. Listens.

APRIL
Feets don’t fail me now --
(listens)
Simon, it’s me, April. Pick up.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. HOUSING PROJECT - AT THAT MOMENT
A group of COMMANDOS IN BLACK
take position around the perimeter
of a burned-out apartment block.

Looks abandoned, except for a dim light
glowing on the second floor.

Leading the charge is a tall, rugged,
good-looking bloke.

Meet SIMON CAINE (30), Brit ex-pat.
If Clive Owen and Daniel Craig
had a love child, he’d be it.

Lady killer deluxe.
Three-day stubble.
Piercing blue eyes glint
with machismo smarts.

Right now he’s checking his weapon.
SHOVES in a clip, CHINK.

His cell VIBRATES in his pocket.
He pulls it out.

SIMON
(whispers)
Shit. Not now --
(looks at the number)
Great.
(answers it)
April. It’s not a good time --

APRIL
Sorry to bother you, Simon --
but it’s an emergency --

SIMON
I know. I saw it on the news.
What the fuck?
(sighs)
I’m in the middle of something.
Call you back in fifteen.

APRIL

You’re on an op?
SIMON
About to take out a terrorist cell.

APRIL
Shit. Where?

SIMON
Compton.

APRIL
Compton? Taliban in the Hood?

SIMON
Don’t have time for witty banter, babe.
Call you back.

He CLICKS his phone shut.
The commando next to him smiles.

GRINNING COMMANDO
Don’t tell me. Your ex?

SIMON
Bitch left me, but won’t leave me alone.

GRINNING COMMANDO
The spy who dumped me.

SIMON
Funny, Brub. C’mon, let’s do this.
(pulls out his walkie)
Green Fox, you in position?
(listens)
Roger that.
(to Grinning)
Let’s take the towel-heads to the cleaners,
whattaya say?

INT. SERGE’S MOTOR HOME - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT
April CLICKS her phone shut. Stares at it.

CHERRY
(over her shoulder)
Any luck?

APRIL
He’s on an op.
Said he’d call me back.

Just then, a metal cannister
FLIES DOWN from the ceiling.

HITS the floor.
A cloud of GREEN SMOKE starts BILLOWING.

APRIL
What the FUCK?

SERGE
(turns around)
What’s going on?

CHERRY
SMOKE BOMB. We’re being ATTACKED.
PULL OVER --