Sore Thumb City

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In today's chapter from your favorite spy thriller NOWHERE GIRLS, agents April Street and Cherry Nation are about to make an emergency landing in their stolen FBI helicopter at Santa Monica airport during a power blackout ... while they're being pursued by the Feds ... and black ops assassin Irina Kolishnikov ...


INT. HELICOPTER - MOVING - NIGHT
April drives the chopper. Cherry looks out the window.

APRIL
We’ve gotta find a place to land, pronto.

CHERRY
But we’ll get to Hollywood faster if we fly there --

APRIL
Too dangerous.
Every government agent in the STATE is after us,
and this is an FBI chopper. Sore thumb much?

CHERRY
(sees something, points)
Hey, look, up ahead --
Santa Monica airport.

APRIL
Fucking PERFECT.
(flips switches)
We’ll land there --

CHERRY
You know, after this is over,
I think I’m gonna take a break.
Spend some time with the kids --
(gulps)
That is, if we can --

APRIL
Trust me, sis.
We’re going to GET THEM BACK, okay?
(off her silence)
Okay?

CHERRY
Okay --

APRIL
Now hold on.
I’m a little out of practice landing one of these --

CHERRY
(stares at her, eyes bugging)
'A little out of practice?'

EXT. FBI SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
Max drives. Sunday talks on her cell.

SUNDAY
You have their position? GOOD JOB.
We’re on our way, roger and OUT.

She CLICKS the phone shut.

SUNDAY
They’re landing at Santa Monica airport.

MAX
That’s close.
We’ll cut off the perimeter, box ‘em in.
(picks up radio, CLICKS it on)
Attention, all units.
Suspects are landing at Santa Monica airport.
Get your asses over there
and seal off the area IMMEDIATELY.

ANGRY MALE VOICE (O.C.)
(electronic)
Copy that, Cargo. We’re ON OUR WAY --

EXCITED MALE VOICE (O.C.)
We’re SO there, dude.
Let’s catch us some PUSSY. Snappin’ GYRO.
Copy DAT, my MAN. OVER --

Sunday sighs. Looks out the window.

MAX
On behalf of all men everywhere,
I’d like to apologize for that
incredibly insensitive display of macho bravado.

SUNDAY
What are you talking about?
I say let’s get those fucking CUNTS.

MAX
(smiles)
Yes, SIR.

INT. IRINA’S CAR - MOVING - NIGHT
She drives up the coast like a madwoman,
zipping around traffic. Looks at her GPS.
Punches buttons on the dash.
Looks at the coordinates. Nods, grim.

IRINA
I’ve got you in web, said spider to fly --
(beat)
At AIRPORT.

EXT. SANTA MONICA AIRPORT - NIGHT
Deserted at this hour. And dark.
A few AIRPLANES dot the landscape.
A Department of Water and Power van sits idling.

The chopper appears in the sky.

INT. CHOPPER - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
April works the controls. Squints in the darkness.

APRIL
Must be a power-outage or something. Hold on.

CHERRY
Be careful.

THE CHOPPER
Descends onto the tarmac.
But it’s coming down TOO FAST.

APRIL
Pulls back on the stick.

APRIL
Whoah, NELLY.

THE CHOPPER
Slows it’s descent, rises a bit,
then PLUMMETS down.

APRIL
YANKS the stick.
The girls get JERKED in their seats.

APRIL
SHIT.

CHERRY
What the fuck are you DOING?

THE CHOPPER
Stops. Hovers. Then lands slowly.
HITS the tarmac. BANG.

INT. CHOPPER - CONTINUOUS
The girls look at each other. EXHALE.

APRIL
Sorry about that.
Been a couple of years. Bit rusty.

CHERRY
Almost pissed my pants.
(looks out the window)
Check out the van.

APRIL
DWP. Perfect.
(smiles)
Incognito ahoy --