Monday, May 3, 2010

Be All You Can Be

Happy Monday, boys and girls! It's once again time to take a trip to the scene of the crime. A place of no-holds-barred harboiled action that'll make your head spin ... at That Killing Feeling.

In today's chapter of your favorite spy thriller NOWHERE GIRLS, agents Cherry Nation and April Street are on the roof of the shopping mall about to be rescued by rogue agent Rock Vargas, who has just commandeered an FBI helicopter. Problem is, black ops assassin Irina Kolishnakov is hell-bent on killing Rock ...


EXT. FREEWAY - NIGHT
A sleek, vintage PORSCHE CONVERTIBLE
speeds down the thoroughfare
at a hundred miles per hour.

WHIZZING through traffic.
It CLIPS an old Volvo on it’s side front bumper.

The car WHIRLS to the side, starts SPINNING,
CRASHES into the embankment.
Other cars HONKS. SWERVE.

INT. VINTAGE PORCHE - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Irina CHUGS a can of Red Bull. TOSSES it in the back seat.

IN THE REAR
We see a mountain of empty cans.

BEHIND THE WHEEL
She stares straight ahead. A robot. On a mission.

EXT. FREEWAY EXIT - CONTINUOUS
The Porsche turns, ROARS down the exit ramp.

IN THE CAR
Irina touches her Bluetooth. Listens.

IRINA
(robotic)
Black Hummer, H-Three. Check.
(listens)
Terminate with prejudice --

EXT. SHOPPING MALL ROOF - AT THAT MOMENT
An air vent OPENS. Cherry and April climb out.
Stand on the roof. Look down at all the cops, FBI, SWAT, media.

CHERRY
It’s a three-ring circus down there.

APRIL
Let’s hope this Rock character has his shit together.

DOWN BELOW
Rock’s Hummer ROARS into the mall parking lot.
RACES over to a black FBI helicopter
parked away from the commotion.

ON THE ROOF
April points at the Hummer.

APRIL
That’s HIM --

EXT. SHOPPING MALL PARKING LOT - AT THAT MOMENT
Rock RACES over the helicopter.
Flashes his ID, starts climbing the rungs to get in.

ROCK
Secret Service.

The BITCHY HELICOPTER PILOT looks at the ID, then at him.

BITCHY HELICOPTER PILOT
You don’t look like Secret Service --

Rock climbs in. Sits next to him.
Pulls out a SIG-Sauer.
Aims it at Bitchy’s head.

ROCK
April fools.
Now take this fucker up to the roof, NOW.

BITCHY HELICOPTER PILOT
Fuck you. This is a Federal aircraft. You can’t --

Rock PISTOL-WHIPS him, CRACK.
He slumps over, out cold.
He pushes him out of the cabin.

Slides into his seat.
Grabs the controls.
The engine ROARS.
The rotors start slowly SPINNING.

IRINA’S CAR
Pulls up to the Hummer.

IN THE CAR
Irina sees it’s empty. She looks out the window at --

THE HELICOPTER
About to take off.

IRINA
Reaches behind her. Pulls out a ROCKET LAUNCHER.

UP ON THE ROOF
April and Cherry watch.

CHERRY
He commandeered the chopper --

APRIL
Deus ex machina, anyone?

IN THE HELICOPTER
Rock starts FLIPPING switches.

ROCK
C’mon, c’mon --

NEARBY
A group of commandos look.
See Bitchy on the ground.

NASTY COMMANDO
Someone’s jacking the CHOPPER.

They start RACING toward it.

THE HELICOPTER
Slowly rises up. Rock FLIPS more switches.

ROCK
C’mon, GO, GO --

THE COMMANDOS
Get nearer. Start FIRING at him.
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

Rock grabs an Uzi off the seat, SPRAYS them with bullets.
RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT.
They get SHREDDED TO RIBBONS.

ROCK
JAMS the gearshift, and the chopper TAKES OFF.

IRINA
Raises the rocket launcher. Takes aim --

An IRATE SWAT COMMANDO appears out of nowhere.
GRABS the launcher out of her hands. JAMS a gun against her head.

IRATE SWAT COMMANDO
Don’t MOVE, LITTLE GIRL.

She SUCKER-PUNCHES him in the face. GRABS the gun.

IRINA
Get the FUCK out of my face, LITTLE BOY.

Commando comes back at her.
She PISTOL-WHIPS him in the face.
He goes down, CRACK.

Irina gets out of the car.
Picks up the launcher.
Aims it at the helicopter.

She gets TACKLED FROM BEHIND
by an ASIAN FBI AGENT.

She HITS the ground.
The weapon SKITTERS under her car.

Irina FLINGS his arms off her.
KICKS him in the stomach, OOF.

He FLIES backwards. WHUMP.
Head hits the pavement, CRACK.

A GROUP OF AGENTS
Nearby see her. Point. Start YELLING.

POCK-MARKED FBI AGENT
AGENT DOWN. STOP HER.

They start RUNNING toward her.
Irina reaches under the car.

Grabs the weapon. JUMPS in.
Drives away in a SQUEAL of rubber,
the agents following her on foot.

EXT. SHOPPING MALL ENTRANCE - NIGHT
Sunday listens on her walkie. Looks at Max. Turns white.

SUNDAY
WHAT did you say?

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. SHOPPING MALL BASEMENT - NIGHT
Huge Commando holds his walkie, looks at Bunky,
scratching at the ladder rungs
that Cherry and April climbed earlier.

HUGE COMMANDO
I said They’re back up on the FUCKING ROOF.

SUNDAY
Well, then GET UP THERE. NOW.

HUGE COMMANDO
Jesus Christ, I was just giving you an update --

SUNDAY
GO, NOW, GO.

She clicks off the walkie.
Shakes her head with disgust.

SUNDAY
Stupid fucking shit for brains.
(looks at Max)
Instead of chasing them,
he stopped to fucking CALL me.

MAX
Maybe he was trying to ‘be all he could be.’

Sunday does a take.
The barest hint of a smile.

SUNDAY
That was actually pretty funny.

MAX
I have my moments --

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