Elvis Has Entered The Building

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In today's chapter from NOWHERE GIRLS, Homeland Security agents April Street and Cherry Nation overpower Honey Almond's guards and break into her underground lair ... just as Honey makes her escape ...


INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT
Two GUARDS sit at a table over
the trap door fooling with a laptop.
HORNY GUARD points at the screen.

HORNY GUARD
Check it out. It’s so big, he can suck himself.

CRAZED GUARD shakes his head with disgust.

CRAZED GUARD
I don’t want to see THAT. That’s fucking GAY.

HORNY GUARD
(working the mouse)
Okay, okay, hold onto your dick --
check this one out.
You’re gonna shit your pants --

The trap door below them slowly OPENS.
Cherry sticks her head out. Looks up.

Sees the table up above.
Carefully opens it all the way.
Gently places it down on the floor.

CRAZED GUARD
Holy shit, check out the CANS on HER.

HORNY GUARD
Meet Bambi Boulders. Double-H, dude.

Cherry climbs up quietly.
Looks down, motions to April.

She climbs up.
Crouches next to Cherry.

CHERRY
(points, mouths silently)
Grab their FEET --

April nods. Holds up three fingers. Cherry nods.

HORNY GUARD
Check out THOSE meat curtains --

April shoots out a finger.
Then two -- then THREE.

And they GRAB the guards’ ankles.

April and Cherry YANK HARD,
PULLING the guards
off their chairs onto the floor, BANG --
and LEAP on top of them.

Cherry PUNCHES Horny in the face,
CRACK. He goes out.

April HITS Crazed on the side of the head,
CRACK. He goes down.

They get up. Take their weapons.
Cherry sees their walkie talkies.
Grabs them. Hands one to April.

CHERRY
In case we get separated.

APRIL
What. No pre-nup?

INT. HONEY’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Honey sits at her desk.
We can see she’s been crying.

She reaches for a tissue.
Sees something on the wall.

ANGLE ON --
The spy camera.

She LEAPS UP. Walks over to it --

HONEY
Those sneaky BASTARDS.

GRABS it, YANKS on it,
pulls it out from the wall, RRRIP.

HONEY
God-DAMMIT.

She storms out into --

INT. SITUATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Honey stands in her doorway. Eyes on fire.

HONEY
Everybody LISTEN UP.
We’ve had a SECURITY BREACH.
We’re under ATTACK.
Start the defense protocol IMMEDIATELY.

The group breaks into BUZZING and CHATTERING
as everyone checks their weapons. Scurries about getting ready.

Monsterburg RACES over to her.

MONSTERBURG
What happened?

HONEY
Stealth camera in my office.
Probably one of a dozen.
Elvis has entered the building.
Hunka-hunka burnin’ agents.

MONSTERBURG
Holy shit. Do you have a --

HONEY
Escape contingency?
Of course. Wanna come with me?

MONSTERBURG
Does a bear have a big dick?

HONEY
Follow me.

She trots over toward a steel door
in the corner of the room.

Puts her hand on a touch pad.
The door THWIPS open --

and Honey and Monsterberg DASH
into the opening and disappear --

Just as Cherry and April appear in the opposite doorway.
Each with twin Uzis.

CHERRY
Homeland SECURITY.
Nobody MOVE,
DROP YOUR WEAPONS, NOW.

APRIL
You’re UNDER ARREST.