Leave The Driving To Us

Happy Tuesday, crime motherfuckers! Feeling restless? A little rowdy? Feel like getting into some TROUBLE? Then get your asses over the the coolest joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's chapter from NOWHERE GIRLS, that action-packed spy thriller you've come to know and love.

When we last left Homeland Security agents Cherry Nation and April Street, they had just escaped the firebombing of their Malibu beach pad ... so now diabolical black ops villain Honey Almond unleashes her latest weapon ... the world's most feared assassin 'The Bagger' is now hot on their trail ...


INT. LAX - TAXI STAND - NIGHT
A taxi sits idling at the end of a long line of cabs.
A MAN IN BLACK LEATHER (60’s)
stands nearby, smoking a cigarette.

Meet VINCENT BAGGER, aka 'The Bagger.'
Tall, thin, acne-scarred in shades.
The worlds most notorious hit man.
Has taken out royalty. Presidents. Dictators.

And a pop star or two.

He walks up to the last cab.
Opens the passenger-side door. Slides in.

INT. GYPSY CAB - CONTINUOUS

The SOUTHERN REDNECK DRIVER
stares at The Bagger.

SOUTHERN REDNECK CAB DRIVER
Hey. If you wanna ride, you haveta git in the back.

The Bagger pulls out a black 9MM Baretta with a silencer.

BAGGER
(British accent)
Hay is for horses, cowboy.

He SHOOTS him in the head, THWIP.
Opens the door. PUSHES him out.
Slides over into the seat.
JAMS the car into gear.

BAGGER
(giggles)
And you can leave the driving to us.

And he ROARS away.

EXT. VENICE BEACH - NIGHT
We see the boat grounded on the sand under the Venice Pier.
April, Cherry and Bibi walk on the sand.

April limps, has a tourniquet on her leg.
Cherry has a rag tied around her arm.
Bibi leads them toward the parking lot.

BIBI
Come, follow me.
We, how you say, ‘jack some wheels.’

APRIL
Sounds like somebody’s been watching a lot of TV.

BIBI
Are you kidding? ALIAS is the BOMB.

CHERRY
Well, then -- lead the way, Sidney Bristow.

INT. CAB - MOVING - NIGHT
The Bagger drives along the coast. Talks into his cell.

BAGGER
Hello, Mary Lou?
The Beagle has landed.

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. HONEY’S UNDERGROUND LAIR - AT THAT MOMENT
Honey paces back in forth in front of a
giant plasma screen monitor
that shows a view of the street outside.

HONEY
(into her headset)
Good evening, bag-man.
So glad you could join us.
I hear Palestine is beautiful this time of year.

BAGGER
That shithole?
I’m still trying to get the sand out of my crack.

HONEY
Then you should be glad
I pulled you off the job in Dubai.

BAGGER
No shit.
You ever tried fucking a camel?

HONEY
Too much information, my perverted one.

BAGGER
Sorry, chief. Color me jet-lagged.
(beat)
So what’s the op?

HONEY
Bibi La Salle, a former asset.
She is interfering with an -- operation of mine.

BAGGER
Isn’t that the French filly
you used to play 'spin the croissant' with?

HONEY
That’s strictly on a need-to-know basis.
Enough chit-chat.
I need you take her out, IMMEDIATELY.

BAGGER
Intel on her location?

HONEY
Not a problem.
We had her microchipped.
(motions to a staffer to come)
Get your ass over to Venice Beach.
We’ll have an op waiting for you
at the Mao’s Cafe with a GPS.
I’ll text you the coordinates.

BAGGER
I’m there like white on lice.

HONEY
Oh, and Bagger?

BAGGER
Yeah?

HONEY
Try not to kill too many innocent bystanders.
We don’t want a repeat of the thing at Fort Hood, okay?