Jesus Fucking Christ On A Stick

Happy Monday, hardboiled crime slicksters. Are you ready to take another trip to the dark side? Then strap on your favorite piece, and head on over to the coolest joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In today's chapter from NOWHERE GIRLS, just as Homeland Security agents April Street and Cherry Nation have their wounds tended to by black ops spook Serge Leon in the safe house, French agent Bibi La Salle reveals that she, too needs medical attention, as her former boss Honey Almond, the op that's now after all of them, had her microchipped, and is tracking her right now ...


INT. BIBI’S SAFE HOUSE - NIGHT
Cherry’s now sitting on the couch.
Serge is dressing and bandaging the wound on her arm.

The girls sit on a sofa facing them.
Bibi picks up a remote. CLICKS on the TV.

BIBI
Let’s see if ze media’s picked it up yet.

ON THE GIANT PLASMA-SCREEN
We see a SERIOUS-LOOKING HOT CHICK ANCHOR (20’s)
in a tight, shiny, mini-suit standing in front of the White House.

SERIOUS-LOOKING HOT CHICK ANCHOR
-- where two impostors crashed tonight’s State Dinner,
one of whom was wearing what was later discovered
to be a fake bomb vest.
The President has ordered a review
of security procedures to find out exactly how this happened.
(cocks her head with importance)
What makes this story even more scary
is the fact that two federal agents were involved.

A PICTURE OF CHERRY AND HOLLY
Fills the screen.

SERIOUS-LOOKING HOT CHICK ANCHOR (O.C.) (CONT'D)
Homeland Security agents Cherry Nation
and April Street are now wanted fugitives
in connection with this attack.
If you see them, please notify
your local authorities immediately.
But be warned, they are armed
and considered EXTREMELY dangerous.

INT. BIBI’S SAFE HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Everyone stares at the screen,
open-mouthed. Except Serge.

CHERRY
Jesus fucking Christ on a stick.

APRIL
Holy fucking shit.
We’re FUCKED.

SERGE
Not to worry.
We will disguise you.
Alter your appearance.
Then you will be able to move freely
until you can clear up this misunderstanding.
And we will help you.

Bibi looks at Serge guiltily.

BIBI
I’m afraid I’m going to need more
of your surgical experience, mon cher.

SERGE
What for? You have no -- gunshot wound?

BIBI
I’ve got something worse, I’m afraid.

Bibi turns green.

BIBI
In all the excitement,
I completely forgot about it.
It was years ago --
(swallows)
When I went deep cover
in Honey’s operation two years ago,
she had me microchipped.

APRIL
What the fuck?

CHERRY
Like a DOG?

BIBI
Oui.
(beat)
And we need to cut it out NOW,
or else her people will be here ANY MINUTE.

Serge sticks his hand into his surgical bag.
Pulls out a scalpel. Smiles grimly.

SERGE
Then I guess we’d better cut to the chase.
(beat)
So to speak --