That Greasy Chucklehead

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. Are you ready for another heaping helping of hardboiled pulp, served cold? Then get your tight little asses over to the coolest joint in cyberspace, where the chicks are hot, the drinks are ice-cold, and the action is smokin' ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's joint from LITTLE GIRL BLUE, where the plot not only thickens, it congeals ...

Private eye Carrie Love has just rescued would-be stripper/college coed Blue Wonder from the evil clutches of white slave trafficker Tolly Chill and his goons, who are now in hot pursuit, as Carrie speeds over to her family's house ... but now she needs some help with the electronic ankle bracelet that Tolly put on Blue in order to track her ... so she calls her ex-husband/ex-partner Bernie Keko, who is more than a little pissed off ...

INT. GERO’S HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - STUDY - NIGHT

Tolly and Gero stand in the studio.

Tolly’s holding a hand-held GPS tracking device.

He looks at it. Squinting.

TOLLY

She hasn’t gotten that far.

GERO

Fucking IDIOT.

How could you let her get away?

TOLLY

She was fucking tied up, Pop.

Bound and gagged, the whole deal.

(beat)

I KNOW how to immobilize a hostage --

A KNOCK at the door.

GERO

Who the FUCK is it?

PORKPIE (O.C.)

It’s me, boss.

GERO

Get your ass IN HERE.

The door opens.

In walks Porkpie.

PORKPIE

Still can’t find her, sir.

TOLLY

That fucking detective helped her escape.

I know it. She followed me from the club.

Fucking bitch dissed me. I’ll show her.

GERO

You let a PRIVATE DICK follow you here? You IDIOT.

Get your stupid ass OUTTA HERE and go GET ‘EM.

Take Porkpie, and bring Aldo and Mick.

TOLLY

I’m on my way.

(to Porkpie)

Come on.

He goes to the door.

GERO

God help me, if you don’t get both of them,

there’s gonna be HELL to pay.

INT. CARRIE’S OLDS - MOVING - AT THAT MOMENT

Carrie drives like a maniac. She runs a red light. Cars HONK.

BLUE

Do you have to drive so FAST?

CARRIE

I’m sorry, but my brother was killed in a hit and run,

my mother had a stroke, and my stepmother is on her way to visit --

and in my family, that’s the Axis of Evil.

BLUE

Holy shit. I’m -- sorry.

(beat)

So we’re -- going over there?

CARRIE

I’m sorry, but I have to. Just for a sec.

We still gotta figure out what to do about that ankle cuff.

That greasy chucklehead is gonna be on our tail pretty soon.

BLUE

You don’t know how to get it off?

CARRIE

I wish I did, but I never --

(beat)

WAIT a minute.

(grabs her cell, dials a number)

Bernie. It’s me.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. BAY STREET - BUNGALOW - NIGHT

A few blocks from the beach in Santa Monica.

On a leafy street, a Craftsman bungalow divided into apartments.

INT. BERNIE’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

Clean, but spare. A MAN sits watching a football game

on the TV in a tiny living room.

Meet BERNIE KEKO (40’s), Carrie’s ex-partner.

And ex-husband. Rugged good looks.

A bit gone to seed. But still a player.

He cradles the phone under his chin.

Reaches for some popcorn.

BERNIE

I can’t talk right now, Carrie.

I’m watching the game.

(at the TV)

Go, GO, GO!

CARRIE

It’s an emergency.

BERNIE

Did someone DIE?

(at the TV)

C’mon ref, FOUL.

CARRIE

Yeah. My brother died,

my mother had a stroke, and --

BERNIE

I’m really sorry,

but what does that have to do with me?

As you might remember, we’re DIVORCED --

and it’s CHRISTMAS EVE.

(watches the TV)

GODDAMMIT.

CARRIE

Bernie, listen to me --

I wouldn’t bother you if it wasn’t an emergency.

I’ve got a client with me that was just KIDNAPPED,

and now that I’ve RESCUED her,

I’d like to take off the electronic ankle cuff

the bad guys put on her.

(beat)

She’s twenty years old, Bernie. She’s a kid.

And she’s scared shitless.

Can you help me or not?

I’ve gotta visit the family,

and I’d rather not have a bunch of

white slave traffickers follow me there.

BERNIE

Never a dull moment when you’re around --

(beat)

What model is it?

CARRIE

Hold on --

(to Blue)

The cuff. Can you see who the manufacturer is?

Blue puts her foot up on the seat. Looks.

BLUE

It says -- Hawk.

CARRIE

(to Bernie)

It’s a Hawk.

Does the department use that?

BERNIE

Hell if I know.

Just cut the fucker off.

Use some tin snips or something.

(at the TV)

SCORE!

CARRIE

Do you have tin snips?

BERNIE

I do, but --

CARRIE

BERNIE.

BERNIE

Goddamit, Carrie.

CARRIE

I know. I know. I owe you one.

BERNIE

You owe me FIVE.

CARRIE

I’ll never bother you again. Promise.

PUSH IN ON Bernie. Royally pissed. He sighs.

BERNIE

What’s the address?