Happy Tuesday, crime-fucks. Did you miss me yesterday? Had some hardboiled computer problems, but we're back in action today. So pour yourself a fresh cocktail, load up your favorite piece, and get your asses over to the coolest joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.Onto today's joint from LITTLE GIRL BLUE, and you better hold onto your seats, kids, cause this one's a doozy ...
When we last left private eye Carrie Love, she was defending her family and friends against white slave trafficker Tolly Chill and his band of goons ... who have invaded her mother's home on Christmas Eve during a freak snowstorm. The gang has escaped into a secret basement room, but the mobsters are hot on their trail ... but just when all seems lost, Carrie's mother reveals a secret tunnel ...
INT. BEVERLY HILLS MANSION - BASEMENT - NIGHT
Carrie walks over to the bookcase. Scans the titles. Finds it.
Pulls it out by the spine --
and the bookcase SLIDES open,
revealing a staircase going down.
CARRIE
Geraldo Rivera eat your heart out.
(to Blue)
Why don’t you help Layla get mom into the wheelchair.
(to Bernie and Seth)
And you guys help me move the desk in front of the door.
It should buy us some time.
EVA
What can I do?
CARRIE
Why don’t you go down first, look around. Be our scout.
EVA
(nods)
You know, if I wasn’t scared shitless,
I’d say this is the most fun I’ve had in years.
INT. UPSTAIRS BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Tolly and Mick stand in front of Porkpie’s dead body.
MICK
The fucking bitch.
TOLLY
And they got his gun. SHIT.
MICK
So what now?
TOLLY
Let’s go down the chimney --
(KA-CHINKS the gun magazine)
And deliver the presents.
INT. STUDY - CONTINUOUS
Carrie and Bernie push the desk against the door.
Layla wheels Margo to the steps.
Bernie races over. Grabs a handle.
BERNIE
(to Seth)
Let’s carry her.
SETH
(grabs the other)
Got it.
POUNDING on the door.
TOLLY (O.C.)
Hey, YOU IN THERE.
Open the door RIGHT NOW, or we’ll start SHOOTING.
CARRIE
Hurry up, let’s go.
(to Margo)
How do you close it again?
MARGO
There’s a switch on the wall.
CARRIE
(at the door)
Get THE FUCK out of my MOTHER’S HOUSE.
ON THE OTHER SIDE
Tolly looks at Mick.
MICK
I say we fuckin’ blast ‘em.
TOLLY
Let’s DO IT.
IN THE STUDY
The door ERUPTS in MACHINE GUN FIRE. Wood SPRAYS.
CARRIE
Move it, move it, move it --
Bernie and Seth carry Margo down the stairs.
Blue follows, then Layla. And Carrie.
The panel closes. THWUNK.
The top half of the door above the desk is SHREDDED by bullets.
A confetti of wood SPRAYS into the room.
It falls over. BANG.
Tolly and Mick step up onto the desk.
Walk in the room.
TOLLY
What the fuck? GODDAMMIT.
They were just HERE. I HEARD her --
MICK
Where the fuck did they GO?
INT. SECURITY PATROL CAR - AT THAT MOMENT
Tip talks on his cell phone.
TIP
Yes, on the walkie talkie.
The woman said she and her family were being attacked.
It’s a HOME INVASION.
(listens)
I told you, I DON’T KNOW the address.
She got cut off --
(listens)
Just send some officers,
and we’ll figure it out when they get here.
(listens)
THANK YOU.
He hangs up. Picks up the flask. Takes a drink. Toasts.
TIP (CONT’D)
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening --
INT. BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS
A large, dusty room. Dim light from a single light.
The joint looks like an old-time saloon.
Carrie, Bernie, Blue, Seth, Margo and Layla huddle together.
Seth flicks on a light switch. Nothing.
SETH
I thought Diego changes the lights.
MARGO
He does, in the main basement.
This is a secret room.
He doesn’t know about it.
Carrie walks around, inspecting the walls.
CARRIE
So I imagine there is at least one secret tunnel.
MARGO
There are two, actually.
Bonus points if you can find them.
CARRIE
You’re gonna make this as difficult as possible, aren’t you.
SETH
Well, we wouldn’t be in this mess if you hadn’t been followed here.
BERNIE
You got THAT right.
BLUE
Oh, no -- it’s all my fault, you guys.
CARRIE
Everybody shut up.
(to Margo)
Mom, I’m sorry if I didn’t live up to your expectations --
but I’m my own person now, I’m an ADULT,
and I deserve to be treated with respect.
I help people for a living,
and I seem to remember you
fell in love with my father because HE did.
(to Seth)
Little brother, I’m sorry if you think I abandoned you
after I joined the police force,
but in case you didn’t know it,
DEAR MOTHER here forbade me from contacting you.
Said I was a bad influence.
SETH
Mom?
CARRIE
Let me finish.
(to Bernie)
And you, my dear ex-husband and former partner.
(points at Blue)
As I seem to remember when we joined the force,
we were sworn to protect and serve the public --
and that’s all I’m trying to do for this girl.
Her sister was MURDERED,
and she was about to be, too --
so PARDON ME for saving her life.
(to everyone)
So NOW you know why I’ve been avoiding coming home.
Because THIS SHIT follows me WHEREEVER I GO.
So let’s stop bickering.
It’s gonna be Christmas tomorrow morning soon,
and there’s no way in HELL I’m gonna spend it in a funeral home.
Carrie’s walkie talkie CRACKLES to life.
GERO (O.C.)
Tolly, you there?
She motions everyone to be quiet.
TOLLY (O.C.)
I’m here, pop.
GERO (O.C.)
We’re nearby. What’s the address?
TOLLY (O.C.)
I told you, I don’t know.
GERO (O.C.)
Goddammit.
(beat)
That broad still on this thing?
She changes the frequency to the other one she used before.
CARRIE
Hey, you -- private security guy, you still there?
INTERCUT WITH:
INT. SECURITY PATROL CAR - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
Tip picks up his walkie. Speaks into it.
TIP
The Name’s Tip. I’m here.
Is this the lady whose house is being invaded?
CARRIE
The one and only. Call me Ishmael.
So listen, the invaders have backup, and they’ve just arrived.
They’re circling the area because the idiots don’t know the address.
Keep an eye out for ‘em.
Probably the only car out in this neighborhood in the blizzard.
TIP
Gotcha. Will do.
CARRIE
The cops on their way?
TIP
Yeah. But I didn’t get your address. We got cut off.
CARRIE
1600 Sunset Boulevard.
TIP
Great. I’ll alert them and then I’m on my way.
Are you all okay?
CARRIE
Yeah, thanks. It’s a long story, but we’re safe right now.
We’ve killed two of them, and there’re two left.
TIP
Holy shit. Keep me posted, Ishmael.
Merry Christmas.
CARRIE
Yeah. If you say so.
(shuts it off, to everyone)
Okay, the private security guy is gonna give the cops the address,
and they should be on their way soon.
But I think we should check out the tunnels.
Whataya say?
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