The Dysfunctional Family Picnic

Happy Friday, crime-busters. You ready for some pulse-pounding, ass-kicking hardboiled thrills? Then you've come to the right place, where you can all the cheap, pervy kicks you want ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's action-packed joint from LITTLE GIRL BLUE, where private eye Carrie Love is right now in the middle of defending her family against a home invasion on Christmas Eve ...

INT. BEVERLY HILLS MANSION - UPSTAIRS CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Glass SHATTERS. A big THUD. CRASHING noises behind the door.

Bernie, Carrie and Eva exchange horrified looks.

EVA

Oh my GOD.

BERNIE

It’s THEM.

CARRIE

And they’re in MY ROOM.

Carrie CLICKS the safety on her Glock.

Moves to the left of the door.

Signals to be quiet.

Bernie SHOVES a clip in his Baretta.

Moves to right side.

BERNIE

(whispers to Eva)

Go down the hall, around the corner.

Wait for us.

EVA

(CRACKS the rifle bolt)

Screw that. I’ll cover you.

She opens the door across from them. Goes in the room.

Closes it until all we see is the barrel of her rifle.

IN THE STUDY

Seth and Blue pull apart.

BLUE

What the FUCK was that?

SETH

Someone’s trying to get in.

They grab their guns.

Seth goes to the door. Listens.

UPSTAIRS

Carrie leans toward the door.

CARRIE

We know you’re IN THERE.

Come out with your HANDS UP

and we won’t KILL you.

BERNIE

We’ve got you SURROUNDED.

You’ll never make it out of here ALIVE.

INT. CARRIE’S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Still as it was when Carrie was a teenager.

Cute. Colorful.

Mick and Aldo stand in the middle of the room.

Guns aimed at the door. They exchange looks.

They start FIRING at the door.

BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

EXT. MANSION - BACK YARD - CONTINUOUS

Tolly and Porkpie look up at the window. Hear the firing.

PORKPIE

They’re thugs.

No finesse -- no stealth.

Just go in blasting.

TOLLY

You want something done right,

you gotta do it yourself. C’mon.

He starts climbing up the ladder.

Porkpie follows him.

IN THE HALLWAY

Carrie and Bernie watch the door get BLOWN TO BITS.

Chunks of wood go FLYING.

They both LEAN IN, start FIRING.

IN THE BEDROOM

Mick gets SHOT in the LEG.

SCREAMS in pain.

MICK

MOTHERFUCKERS.

He goes to the bureau.

Start SHOVING it toward the doorway.

MICK (CONT’D)

C’mon, HELP ME.

Aldo races over, starts PUSHING it with him.

They wrestle it in front of the doorway.

MICK (CONT'D)

Jesus fucking Christ.

He didn’t say nothing about them having GUNS.

ALDO

The private dick, remember?

MICK

Yeah, but who’s the GUY?

ALDO

Hell if I know.

IN THE HALLWAY

Carrie peers around the doorway.

CARRIE

They’ve blocked it with the dresser.

BERNIE

That’s fucking weird.

Normally WE’D be trying to keep them OUT

while they try to come IN.

CARRIE

They didn’t know what they were up against.

BERNIE

Yeah. The dysfunctional family picnic.