Nightmare On Main Street

Happy Friday, crime slicksters. Are you ready for the weak-end? Then strap on your favorite piece, and belly up to the hardboiled-pulp crime scene, where the chicks are hot and the blood is flowing ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's joint from LEGS, and hold onto your nightsticks, kids, cause this one's a doozy.

Lipstick lesbian private eye Carrie Love and patrolwoman/ex-lover Megan Paul interview Carrie's client Michael Samms .... who is revealed as a suspect, and tries to kill them ...

EXT./INT. FREEWAY - CARRIE’S CAR - NIGHT

A swingin’ techno remix of a jazz standard propels --

Carrie and Megan, flying up the 405 in the silver Porsche.

Fast food containers all over the place.

MEGAN

(eating french fries)

You're not even a little nervous?

What if he’s the killer?

CARRIE

(holds up her burger)

Ever see a Bengal tiger play with an animal

she's wounded right before she eats it?

She shoves it in her mouth. GROWLS.

Megan does a take. Looks in her food bag.

MEGAN

Good thing we got extra napkins.

INT. SAMMS' LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The stereo plays Wagner at a deafening volume.

Samms sits on the couch. Piggy eyes glued to the screen.

AT THE FRONT DOOR

the music thunders from within.

Carrie rings the bell.

MEGAN

It’s nine-o-clock.

CARRIE

What’s up with the opera?

Where’s Paulie Walnuts?

IN THE LIVING ROOM

Samms, in a daze. Licks his lips. Sips his wine.

AT THE FRONT DOOR

Carrie pushes it again.

CARRIE

He can't hear it with that

fucking Brunhilda shit going on.

IN THE LIVING ROOM

fat fingers work the remote.

ON TV

blood SPLATTERS the 'Wheel of Misfortune.'

THE FRONT DOOR

swings open. The girls tip-toe in.

IN THE LIVING ROOM

Samms is oblivious. Engrossed.

Carrie creeps up behind him.

CARRIE

MICHAEL.

SAMMS

Fuck!

He JUMPS. Sees the women.

PUNCHES off the TV. The music.

CARRIE

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,

barge in on you like that,

but your music was so loud --

MEGAN

And your door was open. Sorry.

SAMMS

That's okay.

(beat)

Man, you scared the shit out of me.

MEGAN

That looked like a pretty nasty

horror movie you were watching.

SAMMS

Yeah, it’s pretty -- nasty.

(beat)

Please, have a seat, make yourselves at home.

I've gotta make a quick phone call, and I'll be right back.

Can I get you a beer or something?

MEGAN

I'm fine, thank you.

CARRIE

I'd kill for a beer.

Megan shoots her a look.

SAMMS

Comin’ right up.

He leaves. Carrie turns on the VCR.

CARRIE

(whispers)

Holy shit.

MEGAN

Hey, isn't he the guy we saw at the --

Carrie grabs Megan’s arm. Shushes her.

Motions to stay there. Creeps toward the kitchen.

AT THE DOOR

Carrie listens to Samms on the phone.

SAMMS (O.C.)

She brought Daisy Do-Right.

(beat)

Yeah, they’re in my living room right now.

I told you she knew something.

She darts over to Megan.

Pulls her toward the front door.

CARRIE

(loud whisper)

We gotta get the fuck outta here.

IN SAMMS' BEDROOM

he sticks the handgun in his waistband.

Buttons his jacket.

EXT. DRIVEWAY - CONTINUOUS

Tires SCREECH. The Porsche ROARS down the driveway.

Turns onto the street. Peels rubber. Backfires -- BANG.

IN SAMMS' BEDROOM

he hears the car. Bolts for the door.

SAMMS

Goddammit!

INT. CARRIE'S CAR - CONTINUOUS
Carrie DOWNSHIFTS with a vengance.

MEGAN

What's going on?

What happened?

What did you hear?

CARRIE

That was no Nightmare on Main Street, Meg.

That was real.

MEGAN

That was real? How could you --

CARRIE

I'll tell you how.

The human smoothee in the bloody veg-o-matic --

(beat)

Was my client's wife.

INT. KLAUS' LAND ROVER - NIGHT

Klaus drives in the Hollywood Hills. BARKS into his cell.

KLAUS

You fucking IDIOT. You left the room to call me?

Didn't you realize a P.I. and a cop are going to snoop around?

(beat)

I don't pay you to THINK, fuck-head.

Now we have to shoot right away.

You’ve messed it all up, you prick.

Now I have to shoot on fucking DV.

I wanted to shoot this on 35 millimeter.

My customers pay for production value.

(beat)

Jorel's on his way.

You have the cop's address at the beach?

(beat)

Funny you should ask.

I'm thinking reality show.

(beat)

What do you think of -- 'World’s Wildest Executions?'