Dangerous Curves

Happy Tuesday, crime motherfuckers! Are you ready to get your harboiled-pulp groove on? Ready for a PUNCH in the gut? A swift KICK in the head? Then get your skinny, little asses over to the coolest joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's joint from LEGS, where things get a little ... tender. Emotional. Poignant, even.

You see, Carrie's ex-lover, patrolwoman Megan Paul's dead body has just been discovered at the beach ... so Carrie meets with her ex-husband/ex-partner Bernie Keko ... to apologize for being ... a bit of a bitch.

EXT. PERRY'S BEACH CAFE - DAY

A burger stand at Santa Monica beach.

Bernie Keko sits at a table sipping coffee,

watching the flesh parade.

EXT. VENICE BEACH BIKE PATH - CONTINUOUS

Loud, catchy girrrl-punk.

Carrie skates like a bat out of hell to the music.

A demon vision in a barely-there bikini.

Dangerous curves, indeed.

Men pass her, do double-takes.

A BICYCLIST wipes out.

But she's oblivious.

On a mission from God.

Or someone.

UP AHEAD

a group of overweight TOURISTS block the path.

CARRIE

(yells)

On your left!

Startled, confused, they each move in different directions.

Carrie almost falls, barely squeezes through.

CARRIE (CONT'D)

(over her shoulder)

Touristas! Go back to Pepperidge Farm!

She continues north. Pumps harder.

CARRIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)

Do you believe in karma?

Megan has fucking disappeared.

When I went to her house this morning to apologize,

I found another fucking crime scene.

(beat)

Poor Bosco got it right between the eyes.

No disclaimer about animals not being harmed on this beat.

And this is only the middle of act two.

(beat)

Lately I feel like the cops should just

put that yellow tape around my life.

CLOSE ON --

Carrie’s face.

A tear trickles down below her shades.

CARRIE (V.O.) (CONT'D)

Please. You gotta forgive me --

I'm the hero, remember?

You're supposed to root for me.

Don’t give up on me yet.

EXT. PERRY'S BEACH CAFE - CONTINUOUS

Carrie glides onto the patio. Spots Keko. Wheels over.

CARRIE (V.O.)

Good 'ol Bernie, still looks ridiculous in plainclothes.

(beat)

I hope for his sake he's packing.

It's open season on my ex's.

She WHOOSHES up to his table. Stops on a dime.

CARRIE (CONT'D)

Good day, officer. This seat taken?

KEKO

Do you have a license for that bikini?

I might have to give you a citation.

CARRIE

For what? Reckless tan lines?

She sits. Grabs his cup of coffee. Takes a sip.

CARRIE (CONT'D)

You don't mind, do you?

KEKO

I never did, did I.

Memories linger. She blows her nose into a napkin.

CARRIE

Thanks for coming.

I'm sorry about the scene at the station -- I was --

KEKO

(softly)

You don't need to explain, Carrie, it's okay.

I mean, after all you've been through --

CARRIE

I shouldn't have brought her along.

(beat)

I'm sorry.

KEKO

Apology accepted.

(beat)

You should show your soft side more often.

It's very appealing.

CARRIE

(blushes slightly)

Thanks.

(lights a cigarette)

Then as long as everyone around me keeps dying,

I'll be fucking irresistible.

Keko takes a smoke. She gives him a light.

CARRIE (CONT’D)

I thought you quit.

Pause.

KEKO

You know, we still don't have a positive I.D.

on the dead female at Point Dume.

It might not be her.

CARRIE

But she was a cop, for chrissakes.

They know her.

KEKO

It's not so easy -- they, uh --

cut off her hands -- and, uh -- her head.

Carrie JERKS, drops her cigarette in Bernie’s coffee. Pssst.

KEKO (CONT'D)

We were wondering if she had any -- uh, you know --

CARRIE

Distinguishing marks. You need my I.D.

KEKO

Yeah.

(beat)

I’m sorry.

She looks away. Bites her lip.

CARRIE

Thanks -- but sorry doesn't even begin to cover it.