Happy Thurdsay, crime sluts. Ever felt like taking a trip to the dark side? A place of such unspeakable depravity ... that it scares the shit out of you? Feels good, doesn't it. Then haul your pathetic, boring little asses in here ... where you can have That Killing Feeling ...Ready for that trip to the dark side I promised you? Then welome to 'Club Fuck' ...
Where outlaw screenwriter Friday Foster is having a depraved party with her 'catch of the day' the night before she goes on her depraved quest for revenge ...
Oh, yeah ... white slave trafficker Bland Loosener is there, too ... hot on her trail ...
As is her recent ex, Carrie Love, in pervy disguise ...
It's gonna be SOME party.
EXT. CLUB FUCK - PARKING LOT
Behind the club. Music THUMP-THUMP-THUMPS from within.
Carrie and Kelly stand next to her beat-up Olds.
Carrie looks awesome in latex and chrome.
Hair teased up into a flock of seagulls.
Kelly, dashing in pressed jeans and white silk t-shirt.
And hey, is that mascara?
CARRIE
This isn’t a Pet Shop Boys concert, Kelly.
I told you to dress pervy.
(sniffs)
And you’re wearing cologne? Uch.
KELLY
The wardrobe consultant at Dolce & Gabana
said this was 'very Antonio Sabato, Jr.'
And I’m wearing ‘Jizzy,’ Alan Cummings’ signature scent.
It’s a bit sticky, but I find it bracing.
CARRIE
I have more testosterone than you.
At least your jeans are black.
(opens the trunk)
Time for a little roadside assistance.
She pulls out a collar and leash.
Zorro mask. Black pumps.
KELLY
No way.
CARRIE
Yes, way. If we don’t fit the milieu,
we aren’t getting into the play room.
KELLY
The play room?
CARRIE
That’s where the players play, Kelly.
And that’s where our girl is gonna be playing ‘spin the nipple clamp.’
KELLY
What ever happened to -- Twister?
CARRIE
Welcome to the dark side, fella.
NEAR THE DANCE FLOOR
The greasy, swingin’ sounds of The Raveonettes’
LOVE IN A TRASHCAN over --
Bland scoping out the action.
A pair of JAPANESE ECSTACY CHICKS walk by.
Hot as hell in latex mini-dresses.
BLAND
Excuse, me -- ladies?
TALL JAPANESE CHICK
Hello.
ANOREXIC JAPANESE CHICK
You workout boy?
(to her friend)
Big, strong workout boy.
TALL JAPANESE CHICK
(giggles)
Can I feel your muscle?
BLAND
Okay.
He offers his arm. Tall Chick squeezes it.
TALL JAPANESE CHICK
Nice -- muscle.
ANOREXIC JAPANESE CHICK
(reaches over, feels)
Nice and big. Feel good.
BLAND
Say, do you girls know --
(pulls out photo)
This girl?
The dewy beauties look.
Shake their heads ‘no.’
Then look at each other. Smile.
Riding a mutual chemical wave of pleasure.
TALL JAPANESE CHICK
Sorry.
ANOREXIC JAPANESE CHICK
Don’t know her.
(looks at Tall Chick)
You are so beautiful. I love you, Meka.
MEKA
I love you too, Grace. You’re more beautiful.
They lean in. Kiss.
Bland stares. Transfixed. Rock hard.
FEMALE VOICE (O.C.)
Meka and Grace, sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.
They pull apart. Look at --
FRIDAY
on the opposite side of them as Bland.
Holding Dolly’s hand.
FRIDAY
Girlies lookin’ HOT tonight.
She sees Bland. Recognizes him. Almost panics.
Then, realizes. She’s safe in her disguise. Smiles imperiously.
MEKA
Lady in red. Mistress Bella Donna.
Gorgeous your own bad self.
Grace reaches up. Feels Friday’s vinyl. Tactile stimulation.
GRACE
So -- smooth. Shiny.
FRIDAY
(looks at Bland)
So who’s the tranny chaser?
And does he know you two are brother and sister?
The girls giggle. Shake their head ‘no.’
BLAND
Brother and -- sister? I don’t understand.
Meka rolls her eyes. Grabs Bland’s hand.
Places it on her naughty bits. Slowly grinds into it.
BLAND (CONT’D)
You have a cock? You have a COCK.
MEKA
(to Grace)
He din’ know.
GRACE
(takes Bland’s hand)
Come dance with us.
Bland JERKS his hand away.
BLAND
Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t --
(beat)
I need to get a drink.
INT. CLUB FUCK - DANCE FLOOR - MOMENTS LATER
The catchy-taunting, industrial-electro sounds of
DJ Irene Rockstar’s remix of Book of Love’s BOY over --
THE CHICK-CLUSTER
shaking it with abandon.
Melting into the swirling crowd.
Dark flowers undulating in a guitar forest of drum and bass.
ON THE SIDELINES
Carrie and Kelly watch the action.
KELLY
Let’s go get a cocktail.
CARRIE
No. We’re here to work.
KELLY
I’ll drink it from a bowl --
CARRIE
(SNAPS his leash)
Down boy. Keep up with the wisecracks
and I’ll get you a choke chain.
(scans the crowd)
Everyone’s wearing some kinda costume --
(sees something)
Shit. There she is. At least, I think that’s her.
FRIDAY
raises ecstatic hands in the air.
Pumping fists to the music.
CARRIE
pulls on Kelly’s leash.
CARRIE (CONT'D)
Come. Walkies --
KELLY
Woof.
ON THE DANCE FLOOR
Carrie and Kelly start dancing near Friday and her posse.
KELLY (CONT’D)
You sure it’s her?
CARRIE
I think so -- it’s hard to tell with the perverted superhero look.
Carrie fake-accidentally rubs up against Friday.
CARRIE (CONT’D)
Sorry -- Friday?
Friday whips around. Looks at Carrie. Evil smile.
FRIDAY
Friday? It’s Saturday.
What are you on? And do you have any extra?
CARRIE
I’m sorry, you look like an old friend,
her name is -- Friday.
FRIDAY
I’m her stunt double, darling.
I do all the dangerous drugs.
And she WHIRLS AROUND,
and disappears into the crowd ...
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