Be All You Can Be

Ah, Saturdaze, a time for kicking back, putting your stiletto-heeled thigh-high black patent leather boots up on the desk, popping open a cold one, and getting your depraved crime groove on with That Killing Feeling ...

Onto today's episode of HIT & RUN HOLIDAY.

When we last left wanted fugitive/would-be screenwriter Friday Foster, she had just escaped Club Fuck, where she was being pursued by white slave trafficker/Marine Bland Loosener ...

Next up, we meet one of Friday's victims, Pulitzer Price winner/economist Dann Israel, who finds the glare of the media spotlight most ... confusing ...

And Friday repairs to her bungalow lair at the Chatteau Marmont with her 'catch of the day,' Dolly.

INT. CLUB FUCK - PLAYROOM - NIGHT

Bland SHOOTS him in the foot, BANG. The boy SCREAMS in pain.

Hits the floor. Holds his boot, blood pouring out.

TWEEKER BOY

You fucking shot me!

BLAND

Try dancing NOW.

CLICK, CLICK.

CARRIE

points her Glock against Bland’s temple.

CARRIE

Put the guns down, you ugly fuck.

Or else all you’re gonna hear

is the wind whistling through your empty,

‘be all you can be’ head.

Bland drops ‘em.

KELLY

watches, in awe.

KELLY

This is like out of a movie.

CARRIE

Shhh.

Bland takes advantage of the moment,

and in a BLUR OF SPEED,

GRABS Carrie and Kelly’s heads

and SMASHES them together.

He grabs his guns off the floor, races backstage.

Carrie leaps up. Unsteady on her feet.

CARRIE (CONT'D)

Whoah. Head rush.

EXT. CLUB FUCK - BACK ALLEY

Bland JUMPS on his motorcycle. KICK-STARTS the engine.

It ROARS to life. He takes off in a SQUEAL of rubber.

CARRIE

runs outside. Chases after the bike.

CARRIE

Come BACK HERE!

And, like some marathon sprinter, she catches up.

LEAPS in the air. GRABS him, and --

The bike, Bland and Carrie skitter across the parking lot.

And BANG, into the side of a dumpster.

Carrie SOCKS Bland in the jaw.

BANG, he goes out.

She whips out handcuffs, fastens him to the bike.

KELLY

appears. Rubbing his temples.

KELLY

Do you have any ibuprofen?

She rifles through Bland’s pockets. Finds the PICTURE.

CARRIE

Holy shit.

KELLY

It’s her.

CARRIE

And it looks like she’s made some pretty nasty enemies.

KELLY

Maybe he can lead us to where she is.

CARRIE

If we’re lucky.

(beat)

Or unlucky --

INT. NEWS STUDIO - AT THAT MOMENT

BOB O’HENRY (50’s). Hawk-like. Eyes blazing.

Mouth an arrogant sneer. Stares into the CAMERA. Scowling.

Sitting next to Bob is Friday’s old friend DANN ISRAEL.

BOB

Our next guest is Dann Israel, of the Lambert Institute. A think tank.

DANN

(deer in kleig lights)

Hello, Bob. Nice to be here. Thank you for having me.

BOB

The pleasure is all mind, Dann. This is

the first time we’ve had a Pulitzer Prize winner on the show.

DANN

Well, it’s the first time I’ve been on television,

so I guess we’re even, heh, heh, heh --

BOB

So let’s get down to it, Dann.

How in the HECK did you let a WOMAN overpower you?

DANN

I -- don’t understand.

I’m here to talk about emerging global markets.

BOB

We’ll get to that.

But first, what America REALLY wants to know

is WHY Friday Foster went on this rampage?

Can you shed some light on it?

PUSH IN ON Dann. Peeved.

DANN

I’m afraid you’ll have to ask her.

INT. BUNGALOW 5 - NIGHT

The door opens. In comes Friday and her catch of the day, DOLLY.

Both completely, utterly trashed. Giggly.

DOLLY

This is nice. Can I move in with you?

FRIDAY

One tryst at a time, luv.

This is a U-Haul-free zone.