Martini Built For Two

Goodby, Ruby Tuesday ... will they ever hang a noose on you? Feeling a little bored? Looking for some hardboiled/pulp/noir action? Well, you've come to the right place, crime scenesters. A place where your darkest dreams can come true ... if you've got That Killing Feeling.

Onto today's joint from HIT & RUN HOLIDAY, and things are about to get a little kinky. Hold onto your restraints, kids ...

First up, white slave trafficker/former Marine Bland Loosener searches Friday Foster's apartment, where he finds a clue as to where she might be heading ...

Then, Friday, now ensconced at the Chateau Marmont, has slipped into something a little ... rubber, and is getting ready to step out for the evening ... and then confronts her neighbor, who just happens to be a vicious gansta ...

Meanwhile, back at Friday's apartment, Carrie Love searches the joint looking for clues, where she runs into Kelly Klaven, one of Friday's strangest one-night stands ...

INT. FRIDAY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Dark. A FLASHLIGHT sweeping the blackness.

A FIGURE rifles through papers on a desk. Talks on a cell.

FIGURE

She’s a civilian, some kind of writer.

We realize it’s Bland.

BLAND

Movie scripts.

(listens)

What else? Just a pile of bills.

There’s no power, no phone, just --

(beat)

Wait a minute.

The light FLASHES on a club invite. ‘Club Fuck.’

With a drawing of a latex honey with a whip.

BLAND (CONT’D)

I just found one of her hangouts.

Invite says some big party tonight --

(beat)

And I think somebody’s about due for a spanking.

INT. CHATEAU MARMONT - BUNGALOW 5 - NIGHT

Saucy, hip-shaking depravity on the stereo.

My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult’s

A MARTINI BUILT FOR TWO oozes promises of sin.

Salvation. Getting royally laid.

Friday’s poured into a red vinyl number that screams kinky.

Thigh-high boots. Maybe it’s the cowl.

Or is it the horns and tail -- that spell ‘devil.’

FRIDAY

(sings along)

I sit here all alone, in a martini built for two --

The deviant sips a Kettle One vodka martini.

SNAPS a riding crop against her thigh.

Evil smile. Steps out onto --

EXT. BUNGALOW 5 - TERRACE - CONTINUOUS

Inky black humid nightfall. Distant traffic sounds.

Ugly, violent, RAP MUSIC blares from Bungalow 6.

FRIDAY

HEY. Can you turn that jungle shit DOWN?

A huge, GOLD-TOOTHED GANGSTA appears.

An apparition in the dark. He raises an UZI.

GOLD-TOOTHED GANGSTA

(British accent)

What the bloody fuck?

Friday pulls out her piece. Aims it. Scowls.

FRIDAY

THIS is ‘the fuck.’

Gangsta’s saftey CLICKS.

GOLD-TOOTHED GANGSTA

You have balls, lady.

FRIDAY

No. I don’t.

Pause.

GOLD-TOOTHED GANGSTA

I must say, you look positively smashing.

Would you like to go to a party?

FRIDAY

(smiles, toasts)

Sorry, big guy. Already got one.

INT. FRIDAY’S APARTMENT - AT THAT MOMENT

A bright swath of light sweeps the living room, until --

It strikes a FEMALE FIGURE in black. Back turned.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)

Friday?

The woman WHIPS AROUND. It’s CARRIE LOVE.

She WHIPS OUT a HANDGUN. SHINES a flashlight on --

KELLY

holding an electric torch.

CARRIE

Police! Hold it right there! Identify yourself!

KELLY

It’s okay, it’s okay! I’m not armed!

I’m a reporter, K-Kelly Klavan!

I’m a friend of hers.

(beat)

Hoo-boy --

CARRIE

Goddammit. You scared the shit out of me.

KELLY

Then we’re even.

(puts hand on chest, feels)

Talk about beats per minute --

CARRIE

What are you doing here?

KELLY

I saw the story on the news

and I thought maybe I could dig up something, a clue --

CARRIE

What paper are you with?

KELLY

City Weekly. What division are you, robbery?

CARRIE

I’m a homicide detective.

City Weekly doesn’t cover crime.

KELLY

So we’re both moonlighting.

CARRIE

I was -- seeing her.

(low)

Romantically.

KELLY

So was I. Well, for one night.

But as you’ve just confirmed,

I didn’t have a chance,

as she is a sister of the saphic arts.

Carrie stares at him. Wheels turning. Her eyes flash.

CARRIE

Okay. Here’s the deal. I work better with a partner.

Helps not getting killed. Thing is, I’m officially off-duty.

KELLY

So you need a partner.

CARRIE

Yeah. And I need to go undercover.

KELLY

Do I get a gun?

CARRIE

No.

KELLY

Okay. I’m in.

(beat)

You sure I can’t have a gun?

CARRIE

No gun.

KELLY

How about one without bullets?

CARRIE

It’s against the law.

KELLY

But what if you need backup --

CARRIE

I SAID NO. And that means NO.

So zip it, before I change my mind.

KELLY

Alight, okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

(beat)

How about a realistic looking water-pistol?

Carrie pulls out her piece.

Aims it him. CLICKS the safety.

KELLY (CONT'D)

Okay. Okay. Okay. No gun. No gun.

As they start to leave --

KELLY (CONT’D)

You want to go get a cup of coffee?

CARRIE

And what, plot our strategy?

KELLY

Yeah.

CARRIE

Nah. I hate that shit.