Ah, Sunday. A day of rest. But not for this hardboiled chick. No, siree. Got a pistol in my pocket, and a rocket in my shoulder holster. Just another pulp-noir deviant chick with one thing on her mind ... That Killing Feeling.Onto today's joint from HIT & RUN HOLIDAY, where the shit has really hit the fan. In the aftermath of wanted fugitive/screenwriter Friday Foster's aborted hostage situation, and in the middle of a riot, our herione suddenly has to deal with ... the rioters.
INT. WHITE LINE PICTURES - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
Three more LARGE BLACK GUYS walk in. Carrying pipes. Knives.
BIG, UGLY GANGSTA
(sees Friday)
That’s the bitch’s been on da news.
I’m gonna hit dat. Have my first celeb-ritee.
LEERING GANGSTA
Back off. I’m doin’ her first.
KNIFE-WEILDING GANGSTA
Homes, they three inputs --
we kin have a gangsta gang-bang.
Friday VIBRATES. JUMPS UP. Raises the Uzi --
FRIDAY
Baby was a black sheep, baby was a whore,
baby, baby, baby, baby’s got her finger on the trigger!
And starts SHOOTING at THE CEILING --
RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!
Large chunks of ceiling tile SPRAY through the air.
The GANGSTAS duck.
Friday’s guns SWEEP across the WINDOWS --
IMPLODING them in a SHOWER OF GLASS --
CRASH, SMASH, TINKLE, SPRINKLE, BASH, BANG, CRASH, SMASH.
She sneers. Lowers her weapons.
FRIDAY (CONT'D)
Baby-baby-baby was a rock-n-roll nigga.
From the floor, BIG, UGLY whimpers.
BIG, UGLY GANGSTA
Shit. Pissed my pants.
KNIFE-WEILDING GANGSTA
Bitch is fuckin’ crazy.
LESTER
pokes his head in.
LESTER
What the bloody fuck was that?
FRIDAY
Lester. What are you doing here?
LESTER
What do you think?
The American Dream --
Looting and pillaging.
And it’s ‘Menthol.’ Nice, huh?
You gave me the idea --
(points at the assembled gang)
This here is my posse. Da Nica-tine.
FRIDAY
Well, your fucking posse almost RAPED me.
MENTHOL
Gentlemen, meet Friday Foster, as seen on TV.
One bad motherfucker. You don’t wanna mess with her.
FRIDAY
Word to my peeps.
MENTHOL
(sees the blood on Carrie)
We have to get her IN HOSPITAL.
FRIDAY
No shit, Shaquile. But there’s no ambulances.
They’re all busy, thanks to YOUR FUCKING RIOT.
MENTHOL
My riot? I didn’t shoot bloody RIDIKULUSS.
White men did.
JIMMY JOE
He’s gotta point.
FRIDAY
Okay, okay. Years of oppression, I get it.
Menthol goes to the door.
MENTHOL
Come. We’ll escort you.
(to Big, Ugly)
Jamal, you carry the bleeding girl.
And apologize to Ms. Foster for threatening to defile her loins.
Jamal goes to Carrie. Picks her up. Looks at Friday, baleful.
JAMAL
I’m sorry -- Friday.
FRIDAY
You should be. You’ll never know my splendor.
(to Menthol)
‘Defile my loins?’
MENTHOL
So I was an English major --
EXT. WHITE LINE PICTURES - ROOF - MOMENTS LATER
Friday and Jimmy Joe stand on the roof.
Look down at the carnage in disbelief.
JIMMY JOE
The meek shall inherit the Earth.
FRIDAY
More like steal and destroy shit.
Check out the brothers with the big-screen TV --
JIMMY JOE
So why did you do it? Movie deals fall apart every day.
FRIDAY
Weren’t you listening?
They fucking outed me.
Now everybody knows --
JIMMY JOE
Well, la-di-da. So fuckin’ what.
In case ya didn’t know it,
that makes you fuckin’ special.
Ya gotta gift, and yer gonna
keep it hidden away?
FRIDAY
In the subculture we call it deep stealth.
There are thousands and thousands of us.
In your midst. Waiting --
JIMMY JOE
Yeah, and y’all hide, so that no one knows about you.
Y’all need to come out -- to yourselves.
FRIDAY
Come out -- to myself?
Thunderstruck, her eyes start to well up.
JIMMY JOE
(throaty)
C’mere --
And he kisses her. Hard. Then soft. Pulls her close.
FRIDAY
(pulls back)
HEY. You’ve got WOOD.
A PAPARAZZI
sits on a nearby roof. Shooting video footage of them.
A CHOPPER
circles above. WHIRRING rotors. They look up.
JIMMY JOE
Go, RIDLEY.
CARRIE
It’s about deus ex machina TIME.
Friday and Jimmy Joe race over. DUCK under the rotors --
as a SWARM of SWAT OFFICERS pile out. Two GRAB Friday.
MENACING SWAT OFFICER
Friday Foster, you are UNDER ARREST.
You have the right to remain silent --
JIMMY JOE
Friday!
A BURLY SWAT OFFICER grabs Jimmy Joe by the arm.
BURLY SWAT OFFICER
Stand back. She’s ours.
JIMMY JOE
I’m comin’ with ya --
BURLY SWAT OFFICER
NO. Stay right where you are.
Jimmy Joe REARS back, PUNCHES Burly -- SMACK.
BURLY SWAT OFFICER (CONT’D)
HEY.
(GRABS Jimmy Joe)
Okay, asshole -- you got your wish.
And he DRAGS Jimmy Joe onto the chopper.
Zippy, peppy music over TITLES:
UP CLOSE 2NIGHT!
Edited in a blender, JUMP CUTS:
Palm trees. The Hollywood sign. Grauman’s Chinese Theater.
The Santa Monica Pier. The Cheetah Lounge.
The Beverly Hills Hotel. The Laugh Factory.
Seated behind a massive, shiny desk,
a WILDLY SMILING BUFF ANCHOR
and a PREENING, AIRBRUSHED ANCHORETTE lean toward us.
WILDLY SMILING BUFF ANCHOR
Good evening, this is Harry Hart --
PREENING, AIRBRUSHED ANCHORETTE
And I’m Mary Wally.
Harry takes a sip from his mug. Smiles.
MARY
What’s in the mug, Harry? A little pick-me-up?
HARRY
You little rascal. Why, it’s only water.
Who do you take me for, Pat O’Brien?
They both LAUGH MANIACALLY.
MARY
Today in Beverly Hills, infamous fugitive
Friday Foster was taken into custody --
HARRY
After being apprehended on the roof of White Line Pictures.
MARY
We go now to the story, live as it unfolds --
HARRY
Live, at Beverly Hills Police Headquarters.
MARY
Live, at Beverly Hills Police Headquarters.
(beat)
You stepped on my line, Harry. You sure that’s only water?
Harry takes a sip. Winces like it’s strong.
HARRY
Whoo --
(toasts)
Take it away, Maui --
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