What Is This, Austin Powers?

Happy Saturdaze, crime chuckleheads ... are you ready for the weak-end? Are you ready for some balls-out, hardboiled pulp crime drama? Then put on your best duds, pack some extra smokes, fill up your flask ... and get ready for your date with NOWHERE GIRL.

Screened a nifty little motion picture last night. CHAOS, starring Jason Statham, Wesley Snipes and Ryan Phillipe. Very cool heist flick, with Snipes as a bank robber who gets trapped during a robbery, and Jason Statham as a suspended cop who gets put back into action because he's the only one Snipes will negotiate with. Philipe plays Statham's new partner, and is also terrific. A bit of a potboiler, but it has a twist ending you'll never see coming. Can't say anything about the plot because it'll give everything away. Just check it out, and tell 'em Carole sent you.

Onto today's scene from NOWHERE GIRL, and plot thickens big-time. Homeland Security agent April Street and her new partner/long-lost sister/former stripper Cherry Nation arrive at Sledge Crafton's lair ... and get caught in a trap ...

INT. ELEVATOR - NIGHT
April and Cherry arrive at the top floor.
The doors OPEN.
They walk out into the corridor.

A LARGE METAL DOOR faces them.
No name. No number.
Just a small lit button on a silver panel.

April pulls out her Sig Sauer. Raises it.

APRIL
Ready?

Cherry pulls out her Glock.

CHERRY
Let’s do it.

April presses the button.
The door SLIDES OPEN.

INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - LOBBY - CONTINUOUS
They walk into the lobby.
We now see that Donner’s desk
is in a bullet-proof glass cubicle in a corner of the room.

CHERRY
What is this, Austin Powers?

APRIL
He always had a flair for the dramatic.

Donner’s voice comes over hidden speakers.

DONNER
Ladies, glad you could join us.
Mr. Crafton has been expecting you.

April walks over the cubicle.
Stares down Donner.

APRIL
Well, isn’t that a coincidence.

A steel door SLIDES OPENS in the wall.

DONNER
Right through that door, please.
He’ll be right with you.

The girls look at the open doorway suspiciously.

APRIL
How do we know this isn’t a trap?

CHERRY
Cover me, and I’ll go take a look.

APRIL
Okay.

Cherry walks over to the doorway.
Stops. Looks in.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Steel walls. A table with chairs.
Glass window. Shades drawn.

CHERRY
Turns her head.

CHERRY
Looks fine to me.

April marches over, and they walk in.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS
The door behind them SLAMS shut with a BANG.

APRIL
I KNEW it.
(looks around)
CRAFTON. Show yourself!

The window shade SLIDES UP.
Behind it stands Crafton.

SLEDGE
Ladies.

APRIL
What’s the big idea?
You can’t keep us locked up in here.
People know where we are.

SLEDGE
I’m afraid not.
They’re all dead.

APRIL
Then what do you want from us?

SLEDGE
That, my dear, is the question of the hour.
Please have a seat.
(beat)
I’ve got a story to tell you.