Just Another Bomb

Happy Friday, crime busters. You ready to party? Take a trip to the dark side? To a place of unspeakable darkness and depravity? Then you've come to the right place. A place so dangerous, you'll might never come back alive from ... THAT KILLING FEELING ...

Screened a strange one last night. A European flick ... BOARDING GATE ... starring Asia Argento and Michael Madsen. Ripping good psychological thriller. The first 30 minutes is an amazing acting tour de force between Argento and Madsen, which includes drinking, arguing, handcuffs, and an extremely irritated Daria in panties brandishig a hand gun. And from then on the plot explodes with many unexpected twists and turns moving from Paris to China. Bizarre but cool cameo from Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth (WTF?). Strange, haunting, disturbing, and absolutely riviting. Two thongs up.

Onto today's joint from NOWHERE GIRL, and things are really starting to heat up.

In part one, as revenge for the 911 call, the Al Quaeda sleeper cell whacks one of the hostages ...
In part two, stripper on the run Cherry Nation fools around with the suitcase nuke, with disasterous results.

INT. MANSION - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Renny sits on the couch next to Rich Husband.

The two guards stand behind them.
Weapons pointed at their heads.
Kamal stands nearby,
hands clasped behind him.

Hamad holds Rich’s cell phone.
SMASHES it. STOMPS on it, CRACK.

HAMAD
You called private security!
After I specifically told you not to FUCK AROUND.
Do you know what we do to people
who don’t FOLLOW ORDERS?

RICH HUSBAND
I’m sorry, I guess I -- panicked.

Hamad pulls out a REVOLVER with a silencer.

RICH HUSBAND (CONT'D)
No, wait, wait, wait!
I’ve got a shitload of money upstairs!
In my safe! You can have it! All of it!
There’s a couple hundred thousand.
It’s behind the mirror on the dresser
in the master bedroom.

Kamal walks over.
Hands him a piece of paper and a pen.

KAMAL
If you would kindly give us the combination.

Rich scribbles it down. Relieved.
Kamal takes it. Nods at Hamad.
Hamad raises his gun, takes aim --

RICH HUSBAND
WAIT, I thought --

And SHOOTS Rich in the forehead -- THWIP.
Rich’s body SLUMPS over. Dead.

Renny’s eyes dart madly, heart racing.

HAMAD
(big smile)
Not to worry, my big, strapping
American emergency services worker.
We still need hostages --
who know how to behave.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS MANSION - FRONT DRIVE - NIGHT
Cherry and Peeler walk up the long driveway in the moonlight.
The lights of the city twinkle below in the distance.

CHERRY
I think I’m gonna pee my pants.
(beat)
How’s your leg?

PEELER
It’s really starting to hurt.
I’m really looking forward to
getting a chance to sit down for a second.
How’s your arm?

CHERRY
It’s throbbing like a motherfucker.
Look, why don’t we take a breather
before we go in, plot our strategy.

He nods.
She leads him over to the garage, which is open.
They sit on the hood of a sleek Rolls.
Cherry rubs her wrist.

PEELER
Ohmigod is that good.

CHERRY
Simple pleasures.

She puts the briefcase on her lap.
Fiddles with the clasp.

PEELER
What are you doing?
Didn’t you tell me the guy said
you’d die if you opened it?

CHERRY
Yeah, he did --

Cherry closes her eyes.
Winces. FLIPS IT OPEN.

Nothing happens.

CHERRY (CONT’D)
But he was LYING.
Ha, I KNEW it.
(looks inside)
So THAT’S what a suitcase nuke looks like.
Looks like any other bomb to me.

PEELER
And you’ve seen a lot of bombs --

CHERRY
In the movies, silly, on TV.

She examines the interior.
Points at a small clock.

CHERRY (CONT’D)
This must be the timer.

PEELER
Cherry, I really don’t think you should
fuck around with that.
It’s been a really long night,
and I really don’t feel like getting blown up.

CHERRY
Chill, dude. I’m not gonna --

Her nose twitches --
and she SNEEZES.

CHERRY (CONT’D)
A-CHOO!

Which causes her finger to JERK
against the side of the clock,
and SPIN a small knob.

CHERRY (CONT'D)
(looks)
NO -- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

PEELER
WHAT’S WRONG?

INSIDE THE BRIEFCASE
A small, red LCD screen reads
ENGAGE IN: 15:00 --
with the numbers reeling backwards.

PEELER (CONT’D)
GODDAMIT, Cherry!
What the FUCK are we gonna do NOW?

CHERRY
We got fifteen minutes to figure it out.
Let’s get the fuck IN THERE.