30 Minutes Or Less

Happy Thursday, crime buffs. Got a Glock in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? Ready for a little pulse-pounding action, hell-bent on the road to destruction? Then get your flabby asses in here ... and take a ride with NOWHERE GIRL.

Screened a nifty little indie last night. BAGHEAD, written, directed and starrying a bunch of unknowns. It was a little slow at first, but the payoff at the end was nice. Not my usual joint, but one of the actresses is interested in starring in my film noir A DISH BEST KILLED, which I hope to start shooting this fall. Cute little story about a quartet of actors who hole up in the woods to try and write a screenplay ... but things soon go horribly wrong. One gun up ... not a home run, but a definite base hit ...

Onto today's blast from NOWHERE GIRL, and boy, do things start heating up.

In part one, Bel Air security answers the hostage's 911 call, and starts heading to the home in the Hollywood Hills where the terrorists are holing up ...

In part two, it starts raining, and April Street commandeers a cab ...

In part three, we meet assassin Wendon Swift, Sledge Crafton's new hire, on her way to take out Cherry Nation ...

And in part four, Cherry and the gang get shot at by ...

Well. You'll just have to find out ...


EXT. BELL AIR SECURITY - ENTRANCE - NIGHT
A SECURITY SQUAD CAR pulls out of the building.

INT. SECURITY SQUAD CAR - MOVING - CONTINUOUS
The DRIVER turns to the SECURITY GUARD sitting next to him.

DRIVER
Weatherman says it’s gonna rain.

SECURITY GUARD
Oh, it’s gonna rain, alright.

Meet RENNY QUICK (30’s).
Big and burly, former Special Forces.
Retired early due to injuries on the job.

RENNY
My knee is fucking killing me.
It’s DEFINITELY gonna rain.

EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD - NIGHT
A light RAIN starts falling.

April stands across the street from the Crazy Horse.
Watching the swarm of COPS, the ambulance.
A group of GAWKERS.

APRIL
Shit, it’s raining. I need wheels, pronto.

A YELLOW CAB pulls up to the curb in front of her.
Two DRUNK PARTY GIRLS spill out.

APRIL (CONT'D)
Ask and ye shall receive.

MESSY PARTY GIRL
(to the cabbie)
Keep the change!

WASTED PARTY GIRL
(tugs on Messy’s arm)
C’mon, let’s GO. It’s RAINING.

They skitter away
down the sidewalk, laughing.

April goes to the cab.
Opens the passenger-side door.
Gets in.

INT. YELLOW CAB - CONTINUOUS
The CABBIE, Middle-Eastern,
sporting a turban and a giant mustache,
turns and looks at her, startled.

MIDDLE-EASTERN CABBIE
I’m soddy, meess, but eye’m on call.
I cannot pick yoo up.

April WHIPS OUT her ID and gun.

APRIL
Federal agent, Homeland Security.
Get in the back seat.

MIDDLE-EASTERN CABBIE
I WILL NOT.
This is RACIAL PROFILING.
I am AMERICAN CITIZEN.

APRIL
This has nothing to do with you, asshole.
It’s a matter of national security.
GET IN THE BACK SEAT, NOW.

MIDDLE-EASTERN CABBIE
You cannot DO THIS.
I know my RIGHTS.

April PISTOL-WHIPS him, CRACK.
He goes out like a light.
She GRABS him,
THROWS him in the back seat.
Makes a face.

APRIL
Why does everybody I meet tonight fucking STINK?

INT. HUMMER - MOVING - NIGHT
A BRUNETTE (20’s) in shades and black leather
is behind the wheel. Hair back in a sleek ponytail.

Meet WENDON SWIFT,
gorgeous, curvy killing machine.
And Sledge’s new hire.

WENDON
(on her cell)
I’m almost there.
(listens)
Not to worry. I always deliver.
(listens)
Thirty minutes or less?
You flirt. BAD boy.

INT. INTELLIGENCE OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Crafton hangs up. Raises his cocktail in a toast.

SLEDGE
I always deliver.
(beat)
I think I’m in love.

And he downs it.

EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS - RANCH HOUSE - BACK YARD - NIGHT
Brody leads Cherry, Peeler and Stan through the back yard.
They walk into a wooded area behind the house.
A light RAIN starts falling.

CHERRY
Great. Now it’s fucking RAINING.

She pulls her hoodie up over her head.
Her Blackberry VIBRATES in her pocket.
She pulls it out.

THE SCREEN READS
Reminder: Take your meds.
A finger presses a button.
The LCD reads ERASE.

BRODY
turns his head. Looks at Cherry.

BRODY
Can I ask you something?

CHERRY
What.

BRODY
If, let’s say, somebody wanted to get into porn --

CHERRY
(looks at him)
YOU? Are you fucking kidding me?

BRODY
What. I’m not THAT bad-looking.

CHERRY
No, it’s just that --

BRODY
I’ve got eleven inches.

CHERRY
You DO?

PEELER
Wow. Shit.

STAN
What, you didn’t notice?
(off their stares)
So I’m gay. Big fucking deal.
It’s 2009. Deal with it.

GUNSHOTS SPRAY at them.
Stan GETS HIT in the chest.
Brody gets one in the leg.
So does Peeler.
Cherry’s arm is grazed.

They hit the ground.
Start crawling into the bushes.

BRODY
I’ve been SHOT.

Bullets WHIZ through the bushes.
Cherry gets behind a tree.
Pulls out her gun.

CHERRY
FUCK. I don’t see anyone.
(to Peeler)
Peeler, are you okay?

Peeler peers out behind a row of bushes.

PEELER
I got shot in the leg, but I’m okay.
But I think Stan's dead.
(sees her arm)
Cherry!

CHERRY
It’s okay. It just grazed me.

BRODY
My leg -- is fucking fucked.

He tries to get up into a crawling position.

CHERRY
STAY DOWN.

But he doesn’t listen. Sits up.

BRODY
I’m getting the fuck outta --

His head EXPLODES in a red mist.

PEELER
Ohmigod, we’re gonna DIE, we’re gonna DIE!

CHERRY
STAY DOWN!