Notorious Pig

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 23 of THE HEISTERS, wheelman Ludo Vargas pays a visit to a girl gang of heavily armed drug runners, with deadly results ...


EXT. VENICE SIDE STREET - NIGHT
Far from the beach, where The Hood
changes block by block.

Small shitty houses with steel bars
on the windows and doors.

NOT a safe area.
Ugly rap music THUMPS in the distance.

A late-model SUV slowly
creeps down the street.

INT. SUV - MOVING - NIGHT
Ludo drives, looks at the numbers
on the houses.

LUDO
Good thing I brought my fucking piece --
(sees the number)
Nice joint. Maybe I can
get a deal on some crack.

He pulls over to the curb.
Shuts off the engine. Sighs.

Grabs the clipboard off the seat.
Opens the door.

LUDO
Here goes nothing --

Ludo climbs out.
Shuts the door.
Presses his autolock, THWIP.

Starts going up the front walk.
Gets to the front door.
RINGS the buzzer.

INT. SHITTY RUN-DOWN HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Hip-hop on a boom box thumps over --

A real pig-sty.
Dishes piled up in the sink.

Fast food wrappers, pizza boxes
and beer cans litter the joint --

Which is now actually a
drug dealer’s base of operations.

Three HOT BLACK GANG-BANGER CHICKS (20’s)
sit at table in the kitchen
measuring rocks of crack
into small glass vials.

Another CHICK stands by the door
holding an Uzi submachine gun.

Narrows her eyes.
Looks at the girls.

HOT UZI CHICK
Anybody expectin’ company?

They shake their heads ‘no.’

HOT UZI CHICK
I’ll go check it out.
One of you go out the back
and come around in front
and back me up.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Okay --

She gets up.
Grabs a PISTOL WITH A SILENCER
off the counter.

Heads out the back.
Hot Uzi heads toward the front.

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. SHITTY RUN-DOWN HOUSE - NIGHT
Ludo stands on the stoop. Waiting.

He RINGS the bell again.
Peers in the window.

Tiny bit of light spilling out
behind the drawn shades.

LUDO
Hello. Anybody home?

Hot Uzi looks through
the peephole. Makes a face.

HOT UZI CHICK
(under her breath)
Shit. Looks like a fuckin’ COP --

She goes to the intercom.
Presses the button.
Speaks into it.

HOT UZI CHICK
Who is it?

Ludo leans into the speaker.

LUDO
I’m from Global Media Group,
doing a survey. I’m looking
for Janice Michelle Jones.

Hot Uzi presses the gun
up against the door.

HOT UZI CHICK
She don’t live here no more.

LUDO
Are you sure?
This is her last known address --

HOT UZI CHICK
I said she don’t live here NO MORE.
So get the fuck OUTTA here --

LUDO
Please.
I just have a couple of questions.
It won’t take more than five minutes.

A gun saftey CLICK-CLICKS.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Stands at the corner of the house.
Gun aimed. Sneering.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Bitch tol’ you she
don’t live here no more,
so why don’t you get your
WHITE ASS the fuck OUTTA HERE.

Ludo’s eyes bug out.
He starts to panic.
LUDO

Hey. I don’t want any trouble.
ut the gun down.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
You look like a cop to me.
Are you a fuckin’ COP?

LUDO
A COP?
No, no, no -- I’m just here
to take a survey, I swear.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
What part of GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE
don’t you GET, white boy, HUH?

LUDO
Okay, okay, okay, I’m leaving.

He WHIPS AROUND to go --
and the clipboard hits
the front of his jacket,
opening it to reveal
the Glock in his waistband.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
You ARE a fucking COP --

She SHOOTS him.
THWIP, THWIP, THWIP.
Ludo looks down.

Sees three red blossoms
forming on his white shirt.

LUDO
You fucking -- shot --

Another shot HITS him
in the forehead. THWIP.

He pitches backwards.
Hits the cement with a THUD.

The front door FLIES open.
Hot Uzi looks out. Sees Ludo.

HOT UZI CHICK
What THE FUCK?

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
He had a GUN.
He’s a fucking COP.

HOT UZI CHICK
Shit, fuck, piss, COCKSUCKER.
Not ANOTHER ONE --

Tall goes to Ludo’s body.
Grabs him by the ankles.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Chill. We’ll put him in the trunk
with the other one.
So we gots TWO to get rid of.
What’s the big deal?

HOT UZI CHICK
The BIG DEAL is your trigger-happy ass
gonna get us capped one o’ dese daze.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
Shut your pie-ho and help me
move this fat guinea bitch.
He’s fucking HEAVY.

Hot Uzi comes out. Puts her gun
over her shoulder by the strap.
Grabs Ludo’s wrists.

HOT UZI CHICK
Damn. Motherfucker’s HEAVY.

TALL GANG-BANG CHICK
I TOL’ you --
(beat)
Notorious PIG.

The Big Bounce

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 22 of THE HEISTERS, we flashback to the charity rock concert robbery, where Kelsy, Ronan, Chick and Ludo hide in the stadium box office overnight and play poker to keep themselves awake before the big heist ...


INT. FINANCE OFFICE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
A large room with cubicles
and work stations.

Drab. Functional. Cluttered.
Eerie in the dim light.

Kelsey leads them to a door
in the far corner.

She opens it.
They walk into --

INT. STORAGE ROOM - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
A windowless room with shelves
along the walls filled with boxes.

Ludo and Ronan put their bags down.
Look around.

CHICK
It’s not much, but I
call it ‘hiding place.’

Ludo FLIPS on the lights.
Lowers his scarf.
Chick lowers his.

RONAN
Damn, that’s bright.
Shut ‘em off.

KELSEY
Leave ‘em on.
It’ll keep us awake.

LUDO
So what are we going
to do to pass the time?
I’m too keyed up
o get any shut-eye.

CHICK
(pulls out a pack of cards)
Anybody up for a game of poker?

KELSEY
Good idea.
It’ll keep our wits sharp.

Ronan grabs a box.
Puts it in the middle
of the floor.

RONAN
Here’s our table --

They all sit on the floor
around the box.

Chick starts shuffling
and cutting the cards.

CHICK
How about a little
five-card draw?

LUDO
What about Texas Hold-em?

KELSEY
Fuck that yuppie shit.
I say seven-card STUD.

CHICK
I’m really starting
to like this broad.
(starts dealing the cards)
Stud it is --

RONAN
So what are we gonna play for?

KELSEY
IOU’s work for me.
(looks at her cards)
After all, tomorrow we’re
gonna be rolling in it --

She turns her head.
Smiles at Ronan.

Lady Luck

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 21 of THE HEISTERS, safecraker Kasper Garcia calls wheelnan Jefty Jones to warn him about the cops being onto them, not knowing that Jefty's dead and homicide dick Mart Volok has his phone ...


EXT. OZONE AVENUE - PARKING LOT - MOMENTS LATER
A small parking lot behind a boardwalk
restaurant facing the end of Ozone.
A shitty old Toyota Celica idles in the lot.

INT. TOYOTA CELICA - CONTINUOUS
Kasper sits behind the wheel.
Pulls out his cell phone.

GUNS the engine. Starts driving.
Punches a number. Listens.

KASPER
Jefty, it’s Kasper. It’s a set-up.
The bitch is playing us --

INTERCUT WITH:

INT. HOMICIDE DETECTIVE SQUAD ROOM - NIGHT
A WELL-DRESSED BLACK DETECTIVE (40’s)
holds Jefty’s cell phone to his ear.
Big smile on his face.

DAPPER BLACK DETECTIVE
I think you might be right.
Your friend Jefty’s DEAD.

KASPER
What the FUCK?
Who the fuck IS this?

DAPPER BLACK DETECTIVE
Detective Elwin Marr, homicide.
If you come in and talk to us,
I can make you a deal.
Give up the others,
I’ll give you immunity.
How’s that sound?

KASPER
Fuck YOU, pig.

Kasper SLAMS the phone shut.
TOSSES it on the seat.

KASPER
(POUNDS the wheel)
SHIT. FUCK. GODDAMMIT --

He STOMPS on the gas.
The car FLIES down the alley.

KASPER
Fuckin’ bitch is gonna PAY.

ELWIN
Gets up from his chair.
Walks over to the doorway
of a nearby office.

The glass reads HOMICIDE.
He gently knocks.

MALE VOICE (O.C.)
Come on in, it’s open --

Elwin opens the door. Walks into --

INT. MART VOLOK’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Mart sits behind his desk
going through some paperwork.

Looks tired. Beaten down.
NOT having a good day.

MART
What’s up?

ELWIN
We just caught a break
on the stadium job.

MART
Oh, yeah? Really?

ELWIN
(holds up the cell phone)
One of the heisters just called
the kid we shot at
tattoo-girl’s joint.

MART
The fake survey thing?

ELWIN
Yeah.
I offered to cut him a deal,
but he hung up.

MART
Call long enough to trace?

ELWIN
Nah. And besides, I’m sure
it’s one of those prepaid
disposable jobs.
(smiles)
Think the FBI can do
anything with it?

MART
Are you fucking kidding me?
Don’t you watch CSI?

ELWIN
Shit.
Maybe they could help
me out at the track --

MART
You STILL playing the ponies?
I thought you told me
you’d been on a bad streak.

ELWIN
I’ve gotta new system.
Gotta date with lady luck --

Dishonor Among Thieves

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 20 of THE HEISTERS, robbery gang member Jefty Jones pays a visit to the squeeze of the thief the gang suspects of stealing the loot ... and walks right into a trap ...


EXT. OZONE AVENUE - NIGHT
Ozone Avenue. A bucolic, leafy walkway
street at the north end of Venice Beach.

A lone street lamp spills shards
of diffused light through the trees.
Quiet. Eerie.

Kasper walks down the sidewalk
flanked on each side by old houses
and small apartment buildings.

He looks at the numbers.
Stops at the gate
of a Craftsman bungalow.

KASPER
Number thirty-two.
This is it.

He looks at his clipboard. Thinking.

KASPER
You can do it.
You can do it.

Just then he hears the SQUAWK
of a police radio.

FEMALE DISPATCHER (O.C.)
(electronic)
-- jumper off the roof
at apartment complex,
see the building manager --

Footsteps CLOMP-CLOMP nearby --

KASPER
Shit.

He ducks behind a big tree. Watches --

Two HOMICIDE DETECTIVES approach on foot.
We recognize them as Nasty and Ugly
Homicide Detectives from earlier in the story.
Nasty speaks into his radio.

NASTY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
(into the radio)
This is Isaacs.
We’re at Ozone and Pacific
about to pick up a possible
suspect for questioning.
Send some uniforms.
We’ll be there as soon
as we can, copy?

FEMALE DISPATCHER (O.C.)
Copy that, over.

The radio SQUAWKS.

UGLY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
The stakeout is set up, right?
ISAACS
Yeah. They’ll pick up
anybody that comes to visit.
(puts the radio in his pocket)
C’mon, Nunn.
Let’s go see the pot dealer.

NUNN
Alleged pot dealer.

ISAACS
Yeah, RIGHT --

They start walking up
the path to the front door.

Kasper comes out from
behind the tree. Freaked.

KASPER
(whispers)
The fucking bitch.
It was HER -- it’s a SET-UP.

Lock And Load

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Monday. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 19 of THE HEISTERS, Kelsey and her gang break into the stadium box office, but then have to deal with a locked door they didn't plan on ...


EXT. BOX OFFICE ENTRANCE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Chick holds a small, thin flashlight.
A small sliver of light hits
Kelsey, Ronan and Ludo’s feet.

CHICK
Hey, hey.
The gang’s all here.
Follow me.

They walk off into the darkness.

EXT. BOX OFFICE - DOOR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Chick shines a light on the lock
as Kelsey works a key.

It softly CLICKS open.
She smiles.

Quietly pushes the door open.
They file in.

INT. STAIRWELL - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Kelsey leads Ronan, Ludo
and Chick up the stairs.

They walk slowly, carefully,
so as not to make any noise.

INT. STAIRWELL - DOOR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Kelsey pulls out another key.
Works it in the lock.

It softly CLICKS open.
She grabs the doorknob.

KELSEY
(whispers)
Follow me --

And the four of them walk in.

INT. CORRIDOR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
The heisters pad softly down the hallway.
Get to a doorway at the end.

A sign reads AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.
Kelsey sticks a key in.
Tries to turn it. No go.

KELSEY
Fuck --

LUDO
What’s wrong?

KELSEY
It doesn’t work.

RONAN
Maybe they changed the lock?

Chick puts his hand
on Kelsey’s shoulder.

CHICK
Let me try.
The impression copy sometimes
is a bit funky.

KELSEY
(hands him the key)
Knock yourself out.

CHICK
Allow me.

Chick sticks it in the lock,
moves it back and forth in
short, quick movements.

His ear against the door.
Listening.

A soft click.
He turns the knob,
and the door swings open.

KELSEY
Mother-fuck.
Where did you learn how do THAT?

CHICK
Ever heard of Freddie Fingers?

KELSEY
Hell, yeah. Legendary yegg.

CHICK
He was my cell-mate during
a stretch in Ossining.
Taught me everything he knew.

LUDO
What the fuck is a yegg?

RONAN
You know, a Peterman --

LUDO
In English, please.

PUSH IN ON Kelsey. Amused.
Holds up her keys. Jiggles them.

KELSEY
(whispers)
Safecracker --

Cat Got Your Arrest Record?

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 18 of THE HEISTERS, robbery team driver Jefty visits one of the dead boy toys's girlfriends to try and find out if she stole the cash from the heist, with deadly results ...


EXT. SHITTY APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
A plain, ordinary cement joint
on the outskirts of town
brought to you by the color grey.

Jefty walks up the front walk.
Gets to the front door.

Searches the mailboxes for a name.
Finds it. RINGS the bell.

Nervously fingers the clipboard
he’s carrying.

KELSEY (V.O.)
The gag was taking a survey
about entertainment habits.
What were you doing last night?
Watching TV? A DVD?
Cruising the internet?
Social networking?
Playing a videogame?
(beat)
If they were quick to respond,
we knew they weren’t a suspect.
Anybody who had killed someone
that violently and robbed them
of two bags stuffed with cash
would react in some way
that’d be noticeable.
(beat)
Simple. Easy.
Something anybody could do --

The door BUZZES. Jefty walks in.

INT. CORRIDOR - NIGHT
Dimly lit. Shitty, stained carpet.
A door OPENS down the hall.

A tough-looking YOUNG CHICK (20’s),
tattooed and pierced
leans out the doorway.
Rubs her black jeans.

TATTOOED CHICK
What do you want?

JEFTY
Are you the woman of the house?

TATTOOED CHICK
Who wants to know?

JEFTY
I’m with the Global Media Group.
We’re doing a survey about
entertainment habits.

TATTOOED CHICK
Entertainment habits?

JEFTY
Yeah. You know, do you
watch TV or DVD’s,
do you go on the internet --
(big smile)
Can I come in?
It’ll just take a minute, I promise.

TATTOOED CHICK
What the fuck. C’mon in.

She ducks in. Jefty follows her.

INT. SHITTY APARTMENT - NIGHT
Jefty follows her into
the threadbare living room --

JEFTY
Thanks for letting me --

Where he sees two
BIG PLAINCLOTHES DETECTIVES
in cheap suits and cheaper haircuts.
Standing in the middle of the room.

NASTY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
Taking a survey, huh?
Can we see some identification?

JEFTY
(starts to freak out)
I, uh -- uh --

UGLY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
What’s the matter, son --
cat got your arrest record?

JEFTY
Sorry -- I made a mistake --

He turns around
and RUNS for the door.

The cops WHIP OUT their guns.
DASH after him.

TATTOOED CHICK
GET the fucker!

IN THE CORRIDOR
Jefty RUNS. TOSSES the clipboard.
Pulls his gun out of his pocket.
Looks for a place to get rid of it.

The cops see the gun. SHOUT out --

UGLY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
STOP, POLICE --

NASTY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
Put the weapon DOWN or we’ll SHOOT --

But he keeps running.
Gets to the end.
Starts to open the door.

The cops OPEN FIRE.
BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

Jefty’s body JERKS like a puppet
in a dance of death.

SLAMS against the door.
Slides down, red smears on the glass.

NASTY PLAINCLOTHES DICK
Your show’s been CANCELLED --

Seems Like Old Times

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Hump Day. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 17 of THE HEISTERS, we flash back to the start of the heist, when Kelsey, Ronan, Chick and Ludo sneak into the stadium the night before the rock concert ...


EXT. STADIUM GATE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Ludo carries a fold-up chair
and a newspaper.

Sets the chair down
next to the gate.
Puts the paper on it.

He turns toward Chick.
Interlocks his fingers together.
Holds them down below his knees.

Chick steps onto Ludo’s hands
and GRABS the bars.

Ludo then HOISTS Chick up.
He GRABS the top.

Ludo GRABS Chick’s feet
and PUSHES him up higher.

Chick squeezes through
the opening at the top of the gate
and drops down on the other side
with a soft THUD.

Ludo pulls down his scarf.
Sits. Starts reading the paper.

IN THE MERCEDES
Ronan turns. Looks at Kelsey.
Staring out the windshield.

RONAN
Been awhile since we worked together.

KELSEY
(eyes straight ahead)
Seems like old times --

RONAN
(stares at her, fidgets)
You never get nervous, do you.
(off her silence)
I get a bit -- on edge.
Then when the job
gets going, I calm down.
Kinda go onto auto-pilot.

KELSEY
(sees something)
Don’t look now, but we’re
coming in for a landing.

LUDO
Gets up from his chair.
Stretches and yawns.

KELSEY AND RONAN
Get out of the car.
Go the trunk. Open it.

Ronan takes out two
large duffle bags.

Kelsey grabs a large suitcase.
They carry them over to Ludo.

LUDO
(takes Kelsey’s bag)
Gate’s open.

KELSEY
Then let’s go make
a charitable withdrawal --

The Big Bounce

Happy Tuesday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 16 of THE HEISTERS, professional bank robber Kelsey Hazard has the nerve to meet with Mart Volok, the cop in charge of investigating her latest heist, but not the murder of her boy toy ...


INT. STUDY - NIGHT
A manly room with shelves
of books and a big desk.

Ambience heavy and quiet.
Photos of cops on the walls.

Awards. Trophies. Plaques.
Rifles bolted to the wall on a rack.

Mart sits behind the desk.
Kelsey in a chair in front of it.

MART
So what do you want?
You didn’t come to my home
just to tell me you didn’t do it.

KELSEY
I want names --

MART
Names? What names?

KELSEY
Jackie Tempel’s female associates.

MART
And why would I do that?

KELSEY
Because I could help you.

MART
And why would you do that?

KELSEY
Whoever killed him has something of mine.
And I want it back.

MART
Would that have anything to do with
the semi-automatic weapons
the officers found?
(off her stare)
I can’t figure you out.
You come here, ask ME questions,
and then have the nerve to ask me
to give you information.
Why would I do that?

KELSEY
I dunno. You’re a good guy?
You wanna see justice done?

MART
Look. I know you didn’t kill him, okay?
The timing of when the call
was made to us was doesn’t fit.
And the story about going
to the corner store checked out.
(beat)
My gut tells me you’re dirty.
What’s the story with the guns?
Were you in on that heist
at the rock concert?

KELSEY
Heist? At a rock concert?

Pause.

MART
What’s your name?

KELSEY
Jane. Jane Doe.

MART
Okay -- Jane Doe.
I’m investigating a murder, NOT a robbery.
But in order to keep my perp
from flying the coop,
I’ve let the media concentrate
on the search for you.
But I’m not searching for you, Robbery is.
They figure you were in on it,
given the weapons in the closet.

KELSEY
Did it ever occur to you
that the guns were Jackie’s?

MART
That punk?
He was a low-level errand boy,
not a hard-bitten pro like you.
From where I sit, you reek of heister.

KELSEY
I want names.

MART
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

KELSEY
You’ve got nothing.
No suspects for the murder, OR the robbery.
Give me the names and maybe I can
stir things up a little.

MART
You mean FUCK things up a little --

Pause.

KELSEY
I bet your wife was quite
the dish back in the day.

MART
What the fuck --

KELSEY
(hisses, sharp)
But I guess after having the kids,
her figure kinda went to mush, huh?

MART
Now, LISTEN --

KELSEY
NO. You listen to ME.
You think I came here ALONE?
(off his shocked look)
Give me the fucking NAMES.

MART
From the bulges in your jacket
I can tell you’re carrying
at least two weapons.

KELSEY
And from the bulge in your gut
I can tell you can’t do two sit-ups.

MART
I have a gun holstered on my hip.
From that position,
I’m the fastest draw on the force.

KELSEY
Must be nice to come home
to a home-cooked meal every night.
Bet you even read to the kids
before bedtime.

MART
Don’t you DARE threaten my family --

KELSEY
I want the fucking NAMES.
(quietly)
And then when I get what I want,
what was TAKEN from me --
I deliver them to you
on a silver platter.
With a nice, big bow.

MART
Do you really expect me to --

KELSEY
I bet she makes really
good mashed potatoes --

Pause.

MART
Okay. You win. This round.

He opens up a notebook on the desk.
Pulls off a blank piece of paper.

Turns to a page. Looks at it.
Grabs a pencil. Starts writing --

MART
But know this.
All of these people are under surveillance,
and if you get within fifty feet of them,
you’re gonna be behind bars
so fast your head will spin. GOT it?

Kelsey watches him.
Smiles like a cat.

KELSEY
Well, I hope at least
I’ll have time for desert --

Real Housewives

Hey there, crime kids. Happy Mondah. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where your most violent fantasies become sins of the flesh, right here, where the hardboiled action is non-stop, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 15 of THE HEISTERS, Kelsey pays a visit to the cop in charge of the case against her ...


INT. SUBURBAN STREET - NIGHT
The car door opens.
Kelsey gets out.

Walks up the sidewalk
to the front door.
She RINGS the bell.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I knew I had to play
my cards VERY carefully.
It’s usually not
a good idea to fuck with
officers of the law.

The door OPENS.
A small HOUSEWIFE (40’s),
formerly cute, now a
faded wisp of suburban malaise,
stands there staring at
Kelsey with alarm.
Eyes blinking.
Mind whirring.

KELSEY
Sorry to bother you,
but I’d like to speak
to detective Volok.

MRS. VOLOK
I, uh --
I don’t think he’s --

KELSEY
Tell him it’s about
the Jackie Tempel case.

She stares at Kelsey balefully.
But it’s dinner-time.

Deer in the klieg lights.
She deflates. Sighs.

MRS. VOLOK
I’ll go get him.

The Real Housewife of
Santa Monica pads away.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I could smell the pot roast.
Talk about perfect timing.

MART VOLOK (45)
appears in the door.

Tall and thin with a belly.
Casual in jeans and a sweatshirt.

But the eyes tell it all.
Razor-sharp. Dark and menacing.
Appraising.

MART
You said you wanted
to talk about the Tempel case?
You have some information?

KELSEY
I might.

MART
Are you here
to give yourself up?

KELSEY
You’re a funny guy.

MART
I have my moments.
(beat)
You’re the one
who found the body, right?

KELSEY
Maybe.

MART
And beat the shit out of
two of my officers?

KELSEY
Price of doing business.

MART
Come inside --

Spin The Dick

Happy Thursday, crime slicksters. It's time once again to take a trip to the dark side, where the girls are hot, the drinks are cold, and the hardboiled-pulp-noir action is non-stop, right here, at the coolest crime joint in cyberspace ... at That Killing Feeling.

In Chapter 14 of THE HEISTERS, we flashback to the start of Kelsey's stadium heist, then flash forward to the present, where she shows up at the home of the cop in charge of investigating the robbery to find some clues ...


EXT. STADIUM - NORTH GATE - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Deserted at this hour.
A large, old black Mercedes sedan
idles at the curb.

The exhaust softly puffs out
a white cloud in the moonlight.

We see four DARK FIGURES
huddled inside.

KELSEY (V.O.)
There’s nothing like the feeling
you get at the start of a heist.
At first it’s like
butterflies in your stomach,
like you’re going onstage.
But once you get going,
it’s a pure adrenaline rush.
Better than drugs. Booze.
Gambling. Even sex --
(beat)
Well, almost.

INT. MERCEDES SEDAN - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
Ronan’s behind the wheel.
Kelsey rides shotgun
in the passenger seat.

Chick and Ludo sit in the back.
They all wear stadium uniforms.
Everybody SNAPS on thin latex gloves.

KELSEY
(to Ronan)
Ready to rock and roll?

Kelsey’s wearing a long, blonde wig.
TONS of makeup that makes her
look glitzy, and a darker skin tone.

Tres exotic. NOT white. With maximum
cleavage for maximum distraction.

RONAN
Solid, doll.
Let’s crack this sucker like a walnut --
(smiles)
And let the heist begin.

Ronan’s skin is also now
darker with makeup.

A big, wide fake nose and a
close-cropped beard
complete his disguise.

CHICK
Where’s Mickey Spillane
when you need him?
(to Ludo)
It’s showtime, boychick.

LUDO
(to Kelsey and Ronan)
See you in the funny papers.

Chick and Ludo slide on baseball caps.
Pull big scarves up over their noses.
Open their doors. Get out.

EXT. FOURTEENTH STREET - NIGHT
A leafy side street off Wilshire
on the north side of Santa Monica.

Safe, quiet, and not too expensive.
The beige seats.

Kelsey’s beat-up Toyota
pulls up to the curb.

KELSEY (V.O.)
I read in the newspaper that
homicide detective Mart Volok
was in charge of the case --
(beat)
I did a little research,
found the guy’s address --
and now it was time
to play ‘spin the dick.’